Monday, February 09, 2009

The Children Question.

A comment in the Guardian had me laughing up a gale.

"In general, if, at a party someone asks me whether we have kids I say
"we can't have kids"
If they press further I tell them that it is because
"we both hate kids"

I do like a well thought out argument.

The lilac one says, 'I like children, but I couldn't eat a whole one.' She's lying of course, twice.



Blogger Conan Drumm said...

How many has she eaten, so far?

11:20 a.m.  
Anonymous morgor the queasy said...

hehe, that's a good trick to play.

My favourite one at the moment is to ask a friend in a concerned voice?

"Have you heard the news?"

They look worried and say no.

"Jesus is coming".

(stolen from the Sopranos)

11:26 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

None that I know of, but I don't doubt her ability to do so.
The snow on my lawn looks patchy and rather pathetic.

11:26 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

heh Morgor, I like it.

11:44 a.m.  
Anonymous Fiona said...

Love it! And two great articles by Polly Vernon and Rachel Cooke( on the subject of not having children. Stop acting so daffy is right.

12:03 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I don't mind small children really, once they are not screaming. Screaming children send me right over the rails. If I owned a screaming child I'd leave it down at the bottom of the garden in its basket. Seriously, the sound goes straight through me.
I have one gal pal who rings me up on occasion and can chat away while her children are screaming like lunatics in the background. After those fraught calls I am usually twitchy for quite a while. I don't now how she can tune them out like that.

12:12 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Mind you the cats annoy me in the same way if they're in yowl mode. I think I just don't like high pitched sound. Yes, that's probably it.

12:13 p.m.  
Blogger daisy mae said...

i've heard from a couple friends who hated babies and children in general that then went on to have their own (generally only 1) that you tend to like your own - but never come to like other people's children.

12:56 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I don't know, I find I like plenty of other folk's children really, especially the funny ones. Especially the funny non screaming ones. I like when they try to explain things to you, but it's like talking to Manuel from Fawlty Towers, the intent is there, just maybe not the expressions. V. funny to listen to the verbal gymnastics involved.

1:06 p.m.  
Blogger daisy mae said...

exactly. i tend to like the children i can send home, or walk away from.

1:25 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Heh, part time children! All the fun, none of the hard work. We call them nieces and nephews where I'm from.

1:35 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

I've started telling folks that my womb is a hostile terrain which will not accomodate Mr. M's seed.

You get a funny look but then it stops the invasive questions.

5:32 p.m.  
Anonymous Dawn said...

Ugh, I get those sort of questions already and I'm in final year of university. 'Do you want children?' to which I generally reply 'no'; after which comes the 'Oh, it's natural for women to want children, you'll see, I'll bet that in twenty years, your maternal instincts will have kicked in'. Then I reveal my deep-rooted hatred for children which, of course, is followed by the accusation that I'm a femi-nazi.

Bah, you can't win with these sorts 'everyone wants babies' people.

7:34 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Femi-nazi eh? Pull up a stool, let me buy you a drink. Medbh, shove up, we've got another one.

8:18 p.m.  
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