Let's get Physical, And Pray, Not Weigh!
I thought I had the woo down. I thought my natural eyebrow arching was done diddly done. Pfft to reiki ( spit spit) point accusingly, nay mockingly, at psychics, snorteth with gay abandon at starvation diets like Lipotrim and assorted mumbo jumbo that people like to spend money on.
But what if there's a way to dance with the woo and keep a firm hold on your wallet AND lose weight at the same time? What then?
Pray away the fat or as Kim nicely titled it, Love God More Than your Stomach!
"You can live within normal and healthy weight limits if only you love God more than you love your stomach. Right now you use food to numb your emotional distress, and you fear that without using food as a psychological defense your life will be nothing but empty pain.
Therefore, to overcome the habit of constantly reaching for something to fill your stomach, endeavor to teach yourself to act in new ways. Recognize the urge to use food as a way to numb emotional pain, and then return food to its proper place in your life: not as a psychological defense but as a holy gift of nutrition. This takes considerable conscious effort—still, it is all possible through graceful trust in God’s help and protection."
Well blow me, the holy gift of nutrition is being abused. And if I'm reading it all correctly-and I hope that I am- lying fat women with daddy issues need only to turn to an invisible sky Daddy and admit to being sinful BEFORE a big meal and lo, their self worth will magically appear and a gentle and guiding hand will make her put down the cookie of Satan and lift the rice cake of Christ! Huzzah, we's saved. SAVED!
Get thee into the bathroom wretches! Stand upon the judgement dais of the lord. Pray wishfully as the poundage of salvation climbs ever higher. Repent, repent if thy BMI be high, or your fat doth jiggle, know ye that ye have cocked a snoop at the judgey sky lord and despite your best efforts he is frowning at you and talking about you behind your back to skinny minny Jesus.
For it is written, Invisible sky gods are really mean like that.
Labels: God done it.