Guess God was busy...
either that or he's not one to be tested.
A lion killed a man who climbed into its enclosure in the Ukrainian capital's zoo, police said today.
The lion attacked the 45-year-old Ukrainian late yesterday after he used a rope to climb down into an enclosure with four lions, said Kiev police spokesman Volodymyr Polishchuk.
He said the man, who was not identified, was acting aggressively and the lion seized him by the throat. The man, an ethnic Azerbaijani, died at the scene.
Ukrainian TV channel NTN broadcast interviews with witnesses who said the man told them that he wanted to test God, believing that God would not allow the lions to hurt him.
Zoo officials could not immediately be reached for comment.
posted by fatmammycat at 1:09 p.m.
8 Comments:
good thing that one's out of the gene pool.
Bah! I was going to make a gene pool joke, but Finn beat me to it. Well played!
Having said that, what a total douche-bag. Good for the lion!
I keep thinking 'Puuuulll myyyy finger hahahahah.'
I blame it on Born Free and all the other silly stories about cuddly lions. They're the biggest bastards in Africa.
What about Daktari? Clarence the cross eyed lion, what about Simba? Or Mufasa?
I realise Scar was a bit of a scallywag, but he could sing 'la la la, a new shiny era is tip toe-ing nearer, and where do we feature? just listen to teacher!
And you'll be rewarded... respected and lauded,
when at last I am given my due, yes my teeth and ambition are bared- beeeee preeeeeparreeeddddd!'
What a voice. Sigh.
Jaysus, what is it with lions and lunatics? You never get someone trying to prove a point by jumping into the guinea pig enclosure at the petting zoo. They can be vicious little things too, you know, but far less likely to kill.
Ferrets now, I wouldn't do to much jumping and taunting with that lot.
Azerbaijani man in heaven: "Damn it God! You were supposed to protect me and NOT let the Lions attack me! You really dropped the ball on this one. I am so mad at you! That big pussy ripped my throat out! You call THAT protection?"
Possible responses from God....
"Dude! That's what the ZOO ENCLOSURE was for!!"
OR
"That's what happens when you masturbate."
OR
"Wait a sec... Aren't one of the commandments like... Don't be a dumbshit?"
OR
"Ya know... some of us just don't do well on tests!"
OR
"Sorry about that, but ya know, just this morning all the lions were testing me to get some idiot to climb down there and start fucking with them."
OR
"No habla Azerbaijani"
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