Friday, July 21, 2006


My mother has returned from Lourdes with not one, but two plastic Holy Mary mother of God's style holy water containers for my apartment.I am so stunned I have almost forgotten about my shitty morning. She got Etheline blue earrings. But only I get the juice.
'But what do I do with them?'
'Hang one just inside your front door.'
'And the other?'
'I'd have it in the bedroom if I were you, keep you safe.'
But she would not be drawn and I really didn't want to know what she thought I got up to that would require the Mother of God's strong arm to keep me 'safe'

I"m too flabbergasted for words. I've hung one inside the door as requested. It has a little light and everything. Wait 'til French Gay catches sight of it. He has a creeping horror of religious stuff and this will surely send him clean over the edge.


Blogger Twenty Major said...

I can hear French gay now.

"Eau my god!"

1:31 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

It'll be a Mon Dieu moment to be sure.

1:46 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

Religious kitsch! I love it!

I'd hang one in the shower, to protect me from slipping.

2:25 p.m.  
Blogger SheBah said...

There's nothing like a bit of holy water to cure everything. When I was small my dad always told us he was drinking holy water for his health, and he sometimes let us taste it! To this day I think of whisky as "holy water"!

2:41 p.m.  
Anonymous ainelivia said...

Sorry fmc, I have just keeled over laughing. I thought those plastic holy water containers were a thing of the past. Though I have to confess that I do have one, and yes it was given me by my Mammy, there is not a lot of "holy" water in it, and you've just given me an idea.

3:24 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Does yours have a light too Ainelivia?
I remember years ago my gamma had a sacred heart picture with a red light behind the heart. I was fascinated with it as a kid. But this thing is...well, it's pretty freaking awesome. Mary has blonde hair, a blue cloak, barbie styled hands and she stands over some kind of fountain (filled with the holy water) and over her head is her halo which light up. I's awesome.

6:48 p.m.  
Anonymous ainelivia said...

Do you get "holy medals" when you leave the country?? I have a collection in a box somewhere.

Your holy water statue sounds very Andy Warholish. Hang on to it, you never know, it might be worth something.

Personally I think they have commissioned some fiendish designer on these holy souvenirs stuff, who works in the basement of the vatican somewhere.

12:17 a.m.  
Blogger Tommy said...

We had a framed picture of the ever bessid virgin mary mother of god when I was a lad. Frightened the shite out of me it did.I always thought she was an evil bitch.

3:22 a.m.  
Blogger Dr Maroon said...

You keep them bottles close by. Are they illuminated by batteries or more tasteful than that?
Years ago it was many Scots' first taste of foreign travel.
Lourdes and Rome.
It was like the Hajj for the Muslems.
Holy medals are fantastic. As a child, my grandmother used to pin so many to my vest, I used to clink as I walked.

11:57 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Ha, I have a few medals given to me over the years, Jude being the most often handed over, for obvious reasons.
Tommy, I think know the one you talk of and my mother has a super terrifying one of the Death of our Lord which used to worry me when I was a kid because who ever painted went nuts with the gory details. Docky, it is lit by battery-which my mother also thoughfully provided. Sure I'm set up.

1:05 p.m.  
Blogger Sassy Sistah said...

I love your blog! I know it sounds corny but the name reminds of my Dad who used to call all our girl cats, "the fat mammy cat" - never a name - just "fatmammycats". Anyway, the name of the blog got my attention, but the writing keeps me coming back.

This post reminded me of a huge painting of the blessed Mother that hung in our living room while I was growing up. I have no idea why we had it. We weren't Catholic. And my sister once gave my son a plug- in plastic Jesus night light. Very strange family, mine.

1:45 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Welcome on board! Love that avatar, reminds me of Gamma, only minus the eight kilos of fur draped about her hunched figure.

3:12 p.m.  
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