Domestic violence? Or...
Last night while I was working, sipping a coke-no rum and no diet, stupid local shop- a friend of mine called with a major problem.
She is five foot nuthin', dating a six foot something guy and they have a baby together. I knew immediately from her voice something was wrong, I could hear the anguish, the pain, the sorrow. I cut to the chase immediately.
'He's gone.' She said, crying. 'We had a blazing row, I shoved him in the shoulder during an argument and he said that was it. He said he didn't grow up that way and he sure as shit wasn't having his daughter grow up watching her parents fight. He packed his stuff yesterday when I was in work, he's gone.'
'Have you spoken to him?'
'He says that's it... he's done.'
'What am I going to do?'
Well now. What indeed? I was a good friend, I listened, I made the right noise. I was sympathic...but I was also thinking to myself-and I did say it to her- that if she had called me saying he had shoved her or struck her, I would naturally have had a big problem. As it was I told her she should never have put her hands on him, that no person deserved to be struck (except maybe Memnoch, I'd super like to wallop him one) But then there is her...she has always been fiery (very), always been physical ( in every aspect, she's huggy and kissy too) So for her a shove is maybe not what it was for him...but this was the second time she shoved him. The first time he warned her, 'don't do this again or I'm out of here,' that was over a year ago.
She has 'done it again' and he followed through with his threat.
So my useless advice was give him time to cool off. But I don't know. I don't know that two people who fight non-stop should try to get back together. I don't really see the point. Surely when you chose to live as a couple you do so because you love each and respect each other. I don't actually know anyone who thrives on fighting. So as upset as she is I'm am also thinking perhaps this separation is not the worst thing in the world, but then there is the child...
I am conflicted.