You talkin' to me?
Now you know the type, kind of scruffy looking, kind of wasted. As soon as I draw close he says...'Hey beautiful...hey hey, hey where you going? Hey nice arse.'
I keep on walking, get my coat, pay the girl and return home. There you go, no biggie right?
Right, except if I had been walking down the same street with Etheline it would have gone like this...
'Hey beautiful...hey hey, hey where you going? hey nice arse.'
'Excuse me! Are you talkin' to me?'
'Where you going?'
'Etheline come on.'
'None of your fucking business, that's where I"m going. Where do you get off talking to me. Why can't you just shut your mouth. You think I want to hear this kind of shit when I'm going about my business.'
'Hey fuck off lady.'
'No you fuck off.'
'Etheline come on.'
'No Cat, it's bollocks, what we can't even walk down the street now without some fucking creep insulting us?'
And blah blah blah....
Now some women think what Etheline does (confronting every whisperer, whistler, cat-caller) is right on! And lots of yeah, why should we put up with it and so on. One of her friends even advocates slapping men who mutter stuff.
There is a whole site now devoted to naming and shaming bozos on the street. You can find it at www.hollabacknyc.blogspot.com. On this site gals take pictures and post the pictures on the web. Thus the next time some guy whistles at you, you can snap his photo and yell abuse at him as he passes by.
Except it is not right on. It's pretty bloody stupid in my view. It's the one sure way to escalate a non-situation into a situation. Not always, but more often than not and it only takes one time for someone to get hurt. Maybe some guy really does not want his photo taken and decides you're not going anywhere with your phone. What then?
I can fight, I'm a fairly good fighter. Years of being knocked about in kickboxing have made me reasonably strong and fit, but I've said this before and I'll say it again, I'm not half as strong as the flabbiest non fighting man out there. I don't think my knowing that is letting the sisterhood down, I'm simply stating a fact. I have one third of the testosterone, ergo I'm not as strong.
It is not weakness to know your physical capabilities. It is not weakness to avoid conflict, it is not weakness to ignore obviously mentally deficient men on the streets, it is not weakness to ignore 'lookin' good baby', it is not weakness to ignore 'show us your cunt' and carry on your way.
It is not weakness to know how to avoid a confrontation.
A generation of girls are growing up fed on a diet of Buffy and Tomb Raider and Resident Evil. They equate risk with fearlessness, cocksure that if they get in trouble they can 'HI- YAH KAZAMM!' their way out of it. The little goth kid used to suffer from kickassitedness until I set her straight by holding her in a very simple lock that she could not break out of and then convincing her that a man could easily do the same.
I wasn't trying to frighten her. Of course women should have the right to go where they want at any time they want, wear what they want, in any state they want and still be safe. But this is the real world, and the real world doesn't give two shits about what feminists or ass kicking girls or their snappy sisters think. The real world can slap you one in the chops faster that you can say 'hey' or whip out your mobile phone. The real world can smell weakness like a fart in a lift.
Think before you holla back. You might not always get away with it.