I hate Reiki.
Phooey, bosh, chicanery, poppycockery! Panacea for the idiotic, mumbo jumbo bollockology, healing for the unhealable. Spit spit, hack cough, spit! We hates it, oh yes.
There are very few words in use today that can instill a greater sense of rage and loathing in me than reiki. Typing it makes my back teeth clench, my brow lower and my nostrils wrinkle in feral rage. Even the words 'child abuser' don't make me as incensed.
For some reason reiki, the snake oil crappola wankfest that it, is very popular in this island. I don't understand how this can be except to ponder that many fools and their money are very easily parted.
Frankly I think the practicioners of this shite should be taken to a public square and horse whipped to within an inch of the miserable charlatan lives. After which, when they complain of the pain, they should be told 'channel some fucking energy and heal yourself you snake oil peddler!' and perhaps have salt flung on them.
The fact that anyone can set themselves up as a 'healer' should alert people to the fact that reiki- spit spit- is a load of old hooey. As I said to someone yesterday, I can set myself up here, buy a massage couch, incense, a chart of the human body locating the 'chakras' (glossy naturally) and perhaps a CD of fucking whale sounds or water running (to save money I propose leaving a tap on somewhere) and hey presto changeo I too am a reiki practicioner. Now I can 'heal' folk without ever touching them by locating their 'chi' and unblocking their 'chakras' and 'channeling healing energy' towards any ailment that my dupe, no, wait scratch that, client might have.
If I pay some money to someone else I can become a 'master reiki' in less than a month, then I can teach other charlatans to become 'Masters' and whop di friggen do, we're all rubbing our hands together- but only to awaken our inner healing heat you understand.
Now you can also do 'distant healing' this negates the need for an office at all! You simply send me a list of your problems and I send healing energy, for a small fee of course. How cool it that? I can be painting my nails on a Saturday while sorting out your back pain and colon cancer or gum disease. Feel the power rubes, feel it!
It enrages me that this shite is considered 'complimentary medicine'. Complimentary suggests it goes hand in hand with traditional medicine, boosting its powers and providing much needed assistance.
It's a leech. It latches on to the sick and the infirm, sticking its filthy suckers into them, filling their head with hogwash and twee terminology, content to trick and pilfer the funds of people who are either A) foolish enough to fall for it, or B), so ill that they will desperately try anything.
I don't care at all about A, but I care a very great deal about B.
Reiki is the pilot fish of medicine, content to trail in the wake of real healing, nibbling like a parasite on what it finds, content to bottom feed because it know it can do no more than that.
Reiki, I'm against it!
Labels: mumbo jumbo frauds