Friday, July 06, 2007

Cow sex.

Avast me hearties, I be reading the morning paper and me eye did wander 'cross there here story. It be making be laugh, not the act-that be gross-but the concealed identy of the vitim, yar.
Observe, this be from The Sun.

'COPS rushed to a farm to put a kinky teenager udder arrest — after he was seen romping with a COW.
A shocked passer-by rang 999 after seeing the youth — wearing only black briefs — having sex with the steer at 4.30am.

By the time officers arrived he had fled but night-time patrols are on the alert in case he strikes again.

Farmer Richard Parish was stunned to hear what had happened to the cow, one of three rare English longhorns in the field.

Specialist breeder Richard, 39, even thinks he knows which of them was the victim — a looker named Blondie who is the FRIENDLIEST.

He said: “English longhorns are lovely animals — but not that lovely. My mates are having a right laugh and milking it for all it is worth.”



Anonymous MacDara said...

Beastiality’s best Boys or so the song goes.
I wonder was it love or just a fling? But at least she wont be insulted when he is telling his mates that his girlfriend is a cow.

10:58 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I wonder will they interview the cow? Put it in a dark shadow and have someone do a voice over to contineu her identity protection. I"m thinking Catherine Tate could do it.

11:04 a.m.  
Blogger Dr Maroon said...

"...milking it for all it is worth.”

please somebody, shoot me.

11:06 a.m.  
Blogger gimme a minute said...

I have my suspicions about the shocked passer-by. The fuck was he doing walking by a field at 4.30 in the morning?

Sounds like Blondie is another of those animal sluts.

11:16 a.m.  
Anonymous Primal Sneeze said...

Someone had to put him up to it.

11:36 a.m.  
Blogger P1P said...

Given what vets do to cows would it even notice?

Why the hell was he just wearing briefs? Did he leave home in his pants because he was so caught up in bovine lust he couldn't wait to put trousers on?

No wonder I'm a fucking vegetarian.

11:40 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

God lord Docky, I missed that. How very droll.

12:08 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Ye olde John Bull genes. It doesn't say where the liaison took place. Can it be Cowes, please?

12:16 p.m.  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Farmer Richard, 39, might well get up on his high horse, but he's the one who's described as the "specialist breeder." You think that jolly farmer smile comes from just the fresh air?

2:16 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Bleeeeee, it doesn't bear thinking about. It's a bit Island of Doctor Moreau when you wobble off down that path Sam. Really Conan's Cowes thingie gave me quite enough pause.
Anyway, enough, it's Friday, Gimmie, P1P, Docky Conan, Sam, Primal Machawt, I hope you all have a very delightful weekend.

6:25 p.m.  
Blogger Manuel said...

love is the strangest thing...

12:56 a.m.  
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