Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Radical Honesty.

I was reading some article in the Indo a while ago about a person trying to follow Brad Branton's Radical Honesty theory. Basically the premise is that you tell the truth regardless of the outcome. So if your boss asks, 'Say Larry, did you finish up that report yet?' Larry gets to say, 'No boss, I"m nowhere near finished, it probably won't be finished before Friday.' or if your mother says, 'Do you like my new outfit?' You say, 'No, you look like a lilac couch.'
Think it sounds iffy?

Check this out.

"With his new book Branton is selling the notion that...
"Radical Honesty is direct communication that leads to intimacy in relationships. Then people can powerfully create their future together. This works for couples, families, communities and nations.
What is Radical Honesty?

Radical Honesty is a kind of communication that is direct, complete, open and expressive. Radical Honesty means you tell the people in your life what you've done or plan to do, what you think, and what you feel. It's the kind of authentic sharing that creates the possibility of love and intimacy.

The practice of Radical Honesty is based on the work and writings of Dr. Brad Blanton, a psychologist who found that the best way to reduce stress, make life work, and heal the past was to tell the truth.

What's in it for me?

People who practice Radical Honesty have healthy, free, powerful and joyful lives. Lying and protecting your image takes a heavy toll on your health and relationships. Telling the truth is less destructive than lying."

Weeeeeeelllll, it all sounds like wooo and mumbo jumbo to me, but what the heck. I've decided to try out some woo for the day, after all I'm injured, why not indulge in a little radical honesty. God help me and anyone who comes across me today.
As an experiment I want everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, to try out a burst of Radical Honesty today too. We can meet here and see how it went. It might be a small burst, it might be a whopper, but let us give it a woo whirl. It's healthy right?
Right, I'm off to ring my mother.

Labels:

111 Comments:

Anonymous Shebah said...

He's talking total bollocks, FMC.
If you spend even one day on this experiment, you'll bring months, nay, years of aggro down on your head. Best to stick to the white lies, oils the wheels of social intercourse. Most of us let loose the occasional burst of radical honesty (look what happened on Kim Ayres Fat thread!!) - then regret it as people react like demented ants. If you work on the basis that the average adult is weak willed and emotionally immature, and can't bear to hear the unvarnished truth, then white lies and constant ego stroking are the order of the day!

11:49 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

But dammit Janet! I want to see what happens when I tell French Gay that Moschino are not really all that and I don't think Robbie is gay at all. I prepared to fight my corner, especially of the Moschino tat.

I do see where you're steering the good ship on this one, pleasantries mean just that. And being unkind for the sake of it is not really in my arsenal.

1:03 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Tuesday neighbours, now i'm all for this truth trial but what if your mama ask if she looks fat in this, then what?? you can't be a meany guts to your mammy

1:13 p.m.  
Anonymous MacDara said...

I dont think you realise what your asking.

Your expecting your male readers to answer this to the following question. Do I look fat in this?

No you dont look fat its fine you look exactly how you always look now can you hurry up as I have been waiting half an hour already and I want to get going.I dont want to be late all the time and whats worse is every time I tell you we have to go you answer that your just ready. Just ready means we can walk out the door , if you walk out the door in just a Bra were going to get some strange looks.

Seriously its easier and will probably mean a better night if we just say , no of course you dont you look lovely.

1:20 p.m.  
Blogger Fat Sparrow said...

Radical honesty is definitely the way to go if you want people to leave you the fuck alone. And none of those excuses that soften the blow, either; just straight "yes" or "no" answers. "Do you like my new outfit?" "No." Don't say anything else, and just leave it at that. If they press you further, give them a look that says "You are so fucking thick, I cannot even begin to believe that you are going to ask me anything further." Refuse to give them any other answers, and if they want to argue about it, just tell them "I've already given you my opinion," or "I've already told you."

Yes, people will still try to give you shit and talk about you, but at least they won't do it to your face, and you'll get some peace and quiet by just walking away. It's simply a matter of retraining the PITA (Pain In The Ass) people in your life to respond to your new commands. Previously, they've been giving you commands, whether you realize it or not. They say a certain thing, and expect to get a certain response from you. If you refuse to give them that response, they have to learn to work with you in a new way.

I've utilized this technique on the abusive Ex and his manipulative mother, and it only took 3 years of training them, which was well worth the effort, as now they have fucked off and have left me alone, ha. Life is too short to put up with wankers.

Of course to normal people I am politeness, sunshine, and little miss white lies, but that's a different matter.

1:24 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I wonder can I temper my honesty without diluting it?
'Do I look fat in this?'
'Weeeeel that particular style doesn't actually suit you, the dress you worse yesterday was much better.'

Watcha think?

My mother however would be deeply and profoundly insulted by that, so perhaps not.
Jeez, I'm not doing very well today at all in my attempts at woo, AND YOU LOT-except Birdie- aren't even trying!
Come on, one burst of radical honesty, just one.

1:33 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah you can't be honest with the mammy's its just mean. What if we tell people about this idea of radical honesty and trick them into letting us ask them an uncomfortable question that they would have to answer honestly he he he he. Would that count?? Although were not taking part whole heartedly we are promoting it hmmm??

1:55 p.m.  
Anonymous Shebah said...

The very last person you should be radically honest with is your mother, and I hope you never called her the lilac sofa to her face. She sounds like her self esteem is quite fragile so any stab at honesty would wreck her. Never ask questions that might bring a too honest answer. My other half's way of telling me he doesn't like an outfit is to wait til we're almost going out the door and saying "are you wearing that tonight?" Instant deflation!

1:57 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I haven't I promise, I don't have it in me to be that cruel to mater. She says what she likes of course. She's been operating under radical honesty for years.
'Are you wearing that?' Is a fucking doozy of a question is it not? The paramour is sneaky about this, when he hears 'I think I'll wear this tonight.' he might counter with, 'Oh, but what about that beautiful dress you wore when we went..blah blah blah.' It's his way of saying, 'Eeeek, not that thing! Please, anything but that.'

2:03 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I never knew a man who took that much notice of what a woman wore & i would not be impressed either. Strange it is though, men commenting on there other halfs clothes, did you ever get clothes from himself. Now would you be radically honest there?

2:14 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

He bought me a beautiful leather jacket last year that I adore, but in general we just buy our own clothes and leave it at that.
Also men are blessed with the whole clothes thing. We've got a running joke in our house where I might say, 'What are you wearing out toots?' To which he will reply,
'Pants and a shirt.'
And that is that.
Right, I'm going to the gym for a while to pump iron and make red faces. I can't cope with being in doors any longer.

2:34 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahh check out the boys for me will you, i'm missing the gym dearly this week, had a nasty experience with a bar stool in Farringtons friday night.

2:46 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I'm not even going to ask.

2:48 p.m.  
Blogger The Painted Ass said...

Here's a story from the receiving end. On the way to work this morning with my chum (male and ex boyfriend), I was having a whine about how shit work had been yesterday and how I hoped it would be better today - admittedly, not chirpy morning chat but we're usually bonded in our misery. His response was, "Don't be grumpy. You look ugly when you're grumpy". Well, that just perked me right up!
Radical Honesty = suicide or murder - death anyway - probably grisly. Diplomatic honesty is the healthy option.

5:29 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I'm beginning to agree with you all, Radical Honesty could be yet another steaming pile of old woo plop.

5:31 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

Mothers cannot handle radical honesty, FMC. The world sits as they see it or want it to be.
I'm dosing Mr. M right now with it by bitching about the guests who just left.
GRRRRRRRR.

5:31 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Bitching eh? I'll be right over, warm up the tea!

6:08 p.m.  
Blogger Mairéad said...

I'd never heard of radical honesty, FMC, but I never lie. Sometimes I have to evade a bit here and there to spare feelings, but I really don't lie. Hence my very big problem with my liardy liar.

11:53 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i cannot believe your ignorance. the fact that you cannot even begin to grasp the idea of radical honesty makes me feel bad for you. It is a goal to someday live in a world that is truly authentic and honest. It is the idea that someday your kids kids kids wont have to deal with the fact that they dont know if so-and-so likes them. Think about how much less confusion there would be in the world if everybody was upfront and honest about there feelings. Radical Honesty is not just about not lying, it is about telling people exactly how you feel about them. This does not mean just the bad stuff, the good things too. If people got told on a daily basis that they are amazing people, and they are loved, and they are truly cared about, it would truly be a better world. Who could kill themselves if there are being told they are loved every single day. How can you worry about telling somebody you care about you dont like there outfit, when you would also be telling them how much they mean to you. Think about all the people you have ever thought were your friends who you later found out dont like you. You could constantly surround yourself with people who love and respect you and you love and respect back. No more heartbreaks and no more high school drama. Sure it might cause a small amount of conflict at first but that is irrelavant to goal. If all of society was radically honest, people would get over being offended. After a certain amount of insults, it just wont matter, they just wont give a fuck anymore. And it is not like there self esteem would be affected by this, like it would be now, because of all the compliments they are getting. Everybody in the world have other people who care about them, if they know it or not. And a lot of people dont know it, which is the problem.

and btwub
this is definetly a fifteen year old girl
and you are all idiots
but i am sure you have people who care about you too

9:34 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

haha 15 year old wins. I'm been trying to adopt radical honesty into my life slowly over time for about 3 months now. it works but there are definitely problems. some people suck and well you were friends with them. also a lot of people can't take criticism. But in my opinion i'm just dividing the bad ones from the good ones.

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