Monday, September 17, 2007

Rich lucky sucker!

Oh that's me. hoot hoot, my ship has come in. I'm going to fly straight to France and get me a Batman, then I'm going to fly from there to Barcelona where I am going to spend a week getting a tan and snorting rum and drinking absinthe and buying totally over the top clothing and lots of asparagus. Then I'm going to fly back to dublin and throw me the most decadent shin-dig I can muster and if either I, Country Gay, Twenty Major, French Gay or Finn survive it I will deem in a near failure. I trust the paramour to keep me alive, the rest of can fend for themselves. You lot are all invited too. Your invites are in the mail.
Whoot I say!
Observe losers and poor folk, observe my ship...docked in my very inbox earlier this very evening.

to undisclosed-re.
More options 6:07 pm (1 hour ago)

Mr Paul Glover.
Hemel Hempstead Hospital
Hillfield Road
Hemel Hempstead

Here writes Mr Paul Glover, suffering from cancerous ailment. I am into
private practice all my life and do not have time for myself or any other
things,except making money via my numerous business.I was once married but
after three decades without child i have to continue my life.

Iam writing this email to you because i want entrust the sum of 5 Million
(Five Million Great Britain Pounds Sterling which were derived from my
vast estates and investment in capital market with A Bank here in UK for
the good work of charity in your country. Presently, this money is still
with the Bank.

Recently, my Doctor told me that I have limited days to live due to the
cancerous problems I am suffering from. Though what bothers me most is the
stroke that I have in addition to the cancer. With this hard reality that
has befallen my family, and me I have decided to donate this fund to you
and want you to use this gift which comes from my effort to fund the
upkeep of widows, widowers, orphans, destitute, the down-trodden,
physically challenged children, barren-women and persons who prove to be
genuinely handicapped financially,for doing this you will be entitle to

I made a vow to uplift the down-trodden and the less-privileged
individuals as i had passion for persons who can not help themselves due
to physical disability or financial predicament. I can adduce this to the
fact that i do not have a Child from my late wife, which never came.

It is often said that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this
decision because I do not have any child that will inherit this money and
my relatives are bourgeois and very wealthy persons and I do not want my
hard earned money to be misused or invested into ill perceived ventures. I
do not want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly
manner, hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of
death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be with the
Almighty when I eventually pass on. The Almighty will fight my case and I
shall hold my peace. I do not need any telephone communication in this
regard due to my deteriorating health and my doctors advise. With God all
things are possible.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Bank.
I will also issue you a Letter of Authority that will empower you as the
original beneficiary of this fund. My happiness is that I lived a life
worthy of emulation. Please always be prayerful all through yourlife.
Please assure me that you will act just as I have stated herein. Hope to
hear from you soon and God bless you and members of your family. Reply to
my mail through my email address:

Mr Paul Glover.'




Anonymous eva said...

Wow, you're so lucky!!
Congratulations to your millions!
Send a bottle of bubbly over to your poor mate in Edinburgh, will ya?

11:15 p.m.  
Blogger Dr. James McInerney said...

FMC: You should be ashamed of yourself. The man is about to die and all you can think of is your decadent lifestyle.

Selfish bollox, so you are. There's no humanity any more. You'll never have luck spending that money.

11:24 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

I'd congratulate you but I've me own phish to fry.

11:40 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

Oh,no! I got the same email and foolishly deleted it and now I am forced to concede that massive wealth to you.

12:09 a.m.  
Anonymous Primal Sneeze said...

See what our technically up to date Gardaí seem to know about 4-1-9's.

Strangely they don't know much about lottery scams.

Maybe you could do up another page for them about 'death dosh', FMC.

ps. Conan's funny. Phish to fry.

7:51 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Eva, as soon as I get my cheque from The Bank, I'll get right on it. Tell you what, you post me your details and I'll -sniger snigger- send you the money right now.

You're quite right Docky 2, I mean there he is with cancerous problems AND a stroke and all I can think about is buying boots and throwing a Wi-ld paaady, but while I do feel guilty, I am also sure it's what he would have wanted. No No, I'm QUITE sure. However in the event that I am wrong, I think you should send me your bank details and I will send you some of the money and you can distribute it to your own personal causes. God bless and keep you for showing me the error of my wanton ways, send the details soon and I will also get someone to light a candle for you.

Conan, arf. Whatever are you suggesting? I mean it's in The Bank. That must be authentic. To prove it I think you should send me your bank details and I will MOST gladly send you some of the money to help you change your suspicious views, which surely belong to Satan. I will open your eyes to the wonders of the world if you will but open you bank-I mean heart.

Medbh, too late sucker, but fear not, I shall instruct The Bank to send a few bob your way, he did say I was to share the wealth, soon you too can have your own torch for when nights are dark and maybe even enough money left over for spare batteries. Send me your all your bank details and I'll send you the cash as soon as I can.

Primal, that doesn't surprise me in the slightest. What does surprises me is that anyone in their right mind would fall for it and yet clearly some do.
I remember being invited to a seminar out in Blackrock years ago by a pal of mine who lives in Wales. He was all gung ho about this new business and how it was fool proof (usually a sign that only fools are involved) So I toddled out and has to sit throught two hours of gobblygook as some slick Willie explained this 'revolution' of money making. In other words it was a pyramid system. Absolute nonsense. I told my pal that night that I didn't want to be involved, and that was cool, but I remember the looks on the faces of the people who attended the meeting, it was like they were totally brainwashed.
Very odd indeed.
But clearly not the case here as this man is dying and just wants to book passage to Heaven, so send me your bank details and I will spread his good and dying intentions like a rash.

9:29 a.m.  
Blogger Dr. James McInerney said...

FatMammyCat, well done for seeing the light. You may deposit all monies in my Northern Rock account, where it will be safe.

10:28 a.m.  
Blogger gimme a minute said...

Though what bothers me most is the
stroke that I have in addition to the cancer.

Strokes. So very bothersome.

1:58 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Well it would be, if you combine it with the old cancer. On its own it's just a mild irritation.

3:23 p.m.  
Blogger Gaye said...

Hmm within a week two blogger peeps hit the jackpot. Conortje is already spending his millions before receiving the cheque in the mail. And now you, FMC. I am green with envy is all I can say.

3:29 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Don't worry Gaye, send on your back details and I make sure you turn a gentle shade of pink as I share the love.

3:59 p.m.  
Blogger finn said...

My Boyfriend's Pecker Keeps Slipping Out.

can you help?!?

5:30 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Of course, send me your bank details and I will send you 'The Secret' of how to solve that and MANY more problems. May the LORD keep you*

* where he keeps you is in no way connected to this product. Secret may or may not be true, it could in fact be Indo-True ©

7:11 p.m.  

Post a Comment

<< Home