Thursday, October 04, 2007

I hate noise.

An alarm has been going off on our road for most of the morning and it is driving me nuts. As much as I hate phones I surely hate alarms with the same venom.There is also a puppy yowling in terror at being put out in a garden on a sunny day. 'Yirk yirp ye-irp' it has been going most of the morning.
I can hear all of this because my back door is open. And why is it open? Because the cats would surely drive me batshit crazy if I closed it so I am inclined to leave it open all day long. This suits me fine, they come and go, I sit snugly in my office minding my own cat free business ( I don't include Puddy in this carry on, Puddy is smart and stays in here with me, asleep) The only flaw in my plan is blue bottles-which really should be bloody dead at this time of year. They come in and buzz stupidly at my office windows, batting off them and buzzing blearily about.
I don't like killing the stupid things either so I normally get up and let them out the window, but that annoys me too. And I did actually swat one today, not on purpose either. I flung my notebook at it and smooshed it against the glass. Blee.
So when another flew in about an hour ago and droned about I resorted to ignoring it. I plugged my ipod earphones into the back of my Mac and popped on itunes. See that shitforfood? If I can't hear you I can most surely ignore you.
So I was happily working away here, ignoring cats and flies and dogs and phones and alarms. I was in good spirits. I am always in good spirits when not disturbed by stuff. Honestly, I have NEVER been in bad form undisturbed.
So there I was, working away, when up pops a U2 album I haven't heard in Christ knows how long. It's Under A Blood Red Sky.
I listen, sort of. Then I will Follow came on. Now I like that song, it reminds me of school discos and dancing and punching the air and snogging.
Well I don't know what happened. but I do know I was singing at the top of my voice and bopping my head up and down like Garv did to Queen. I know this because the Paramour, who really should let me know if he's on his way home lest I'm having a steamy affair or something- tapped me on the shoulder sending me into spasms of terror.
Eventually he stopped laughing and I stopped gibbering and we saw the funny side to it. Oh yes we really did. Frankly I'm relieved he missed the air guitar I was heavily involved during Welcome to The Jungle not half an hour earlier, but still oh yes, it's really funny when you scare/mortify the living shit out of your partner and then fall about the place laughing... oh hahahhaha...indeed.
Vengeance will be swift and painful.



Blogger Medbh said...

When Mr. M meets me in the park when I have my ipod on he knows to get in my line of vision and not touch me. If anyone laid a hand on me my first response would be to throw a punch.

I think Paramour should take you out to dinner to make up for it.

2:54 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Believe it or not I'm actually mkaing dinner tonight. I'm making risotto. He does the bulk of the cooking but he's got footie training and I've been dying to make this for a while now.
You're quite right about the wallops when startled. But my first reaction was to scream like banshee. Oh those classes with Memnoch were not wasted at ALL!

2:57 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Bit of video for you Missus, over at my joint.

4:15 p.m.  
Blogger gayé said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

4:27 p.m.  
Blogger gayé said...

On the mats, we do a defence drill called "multiple grabs" in my club, you get in the middle and your fellow hapkidoists start attacking you (the attacks are faster and varied as your belt level gets higher) so you learn to react quickly against attacks coming from different sides in different ways. It's totally fun but teaches you to react in any case when you are grabbed unexpectedly, so that means startling me like that could very well translate into a little pain received by the "grabber". :)

4:27 p.m.  
Anonymous Pinkie said...

D'ya know what noise I HATE ? The drone of a tv. I fecking hate it! I don't watch tv which kind of has me at odds with the box one way or another but damn ... the dull din of a tv set makes me fume.

4:59 p.m.  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

I miss bluebottles and their bumbling ways. Flies over here are lean and hungry and evil-looking. If there were any bluebottles in LA, the would just glass you with themselves.

5:02 p.m.  
Blogger Dr Maroon said...

There is only one thing more embarassing than being caught with the tennis raquet guitar or hairbrush mike and that's being caught just when you were off to Palm Springs, you know, downtown Lester Brown, etc.

I do like U2 even though Saint B's behaviour is getting more and more erratic. I can't help it.

6:41 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

What ho Chumlies, I was off making chicken and mushroom risotto, which really requires a heck of a lot of stirring. But mmmm smells good. I totally over did it with the parmesan but you know, if you like that smoky cheesy flavour you've just got to be heavy handed.
Do you know we had no garlic in this house? How odd. I had to race off to Superquinn. I was supposed to do a run today too, and I haven't and I won't. I'll guilt myself into something stupid tomorrow no doubt.
Gayé, my old instructor Memnock would have slapped me upside the head but good if he'd seen my jibberfest and quite right too.
Conan I shall be right over.
Sam, you only think that, if you had to watch the lazy bastards bobble about in your window you feel quite nasty towards them.
Pinkie, I don't mind the telly if I'm watching something, but in the background? No a thousand time no. I used to have a chum years ago who would ask you over to her place and then proceed to watch TV with one eye the whole time you were there. Naturally she is no longer a chum.

6:43 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Docky, like two ships in the night. He does seem a bit off his trolley of late doesn't he. I suspect the hooch. He's too short for it.

6:44 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

Good luck with the lovely risotto. I made it once and had no idea what I was doing and it looked like the gruel from "Oliver Twist" only no one was asking sir for more.

9:18 p.m.  
Anonymous laughykate said...

I know exactly what you mean about getting a fright. What gets me is how bloody easily it can happen. Two days ago I was deep in thought at my computer trying to crowbar some words into a sentence when our accounts guy Numbers (can't read, can only add) yelled out BOO! I. Nearly. Shat. Myself.

And once my heart rate returned to normal, I attempted to throttle him.

9:56 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

I have six older siblings who used to just loooove coming into a room and shouting BOO! at every opportunity.

To this day, I will not sit with my back to a door.

11:53 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Medbh, it was lovely at the time of cooking and a sticky bloody mess one hour later. I think it's a dish that supposed to be eaten immediately.

4:34 p.m.  
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