Friday, February 08, 2008

Mobile phones in schools.


'What's new pussy cat? Can I join the ginger club?"
'Well I dunno Tom, you're kind of inky black there. Say what colour do you call that anyway?"
'You can call it Ebony Dream, for that's what I am.'
'Aren't you white? And of even lesser importance, Welsh?
'On the outside sugar- WOAH WOAH WHOAHYEAH- inside I'm the heart of darkness, watch me jiggle.'
'I dunno Tom, here on Ginger day we're pretty much booked up what with Carrot Top and now Scott who -under all that peroxide- is most surely a ginger.'
'Well sure honey-pie I dig-COME ONOWAH! but the skin, check out the skin. I need to slip you some...skin.'
'Humm, that does have a ginger glow to it.'
'OWA COME ON give it to me. I think I wanna dance now.'
'Argh, your hip just popped out of its socket.'
'DOn't worry sugar, with a quick bump and grind that baby'll pop straight back into my MY MY DELILAH-'
'Okay! if I make you a fully fledged member of the Ginger club will you bugger off. You're getting some sort of residue on my walls. What is that gunk?'
'That's my love aura. Once that baby envelops you your fires are lit Baby, and when The TOM lights fires they stay LIT!'
'Oh for the love of marmalade.'
'Ah yeah you know it. That right-ah!'


Happy Ginger day Chumlies!
Urgh, what a long week this turned out to be. But Avast! Ginger day is upon us and the weather appears to be brightening up-although it is drizzling right this second. Either way, yay to spring. Mr Blackbird has a new missus and I expect they'll be getting busy any day now and producing a new crop of birdies, my field/lawn appears to be growing again and there are buds on my bushes- which sound faintly smutty to me, but there you go.
Now, it's probably no secret to anyone here that I dislike mobile phones. Truthfully I dislike all phones, but even a dullard like me understands they are a necessary evil, my cats would eat carrier pigeons, plus I'm not sure I like pigeon any more than phones.
(My preferred contact is via email. I find this to be very civilized. Like letter writing but swift- and in my case legible, unlike my handwriting)
I'm not a complete wally, I know having a mobile in the car might be very useful should you break down miles from home or witness an accident, so it''s not like I"m against them completely. But in general I think they are the most hideous invention of this century.
My dislike of mobiles is due to many factors. Firstly I don't think anyone unless they are assassins or surgeons or heavily pregnant or waiting for an organ transplant, needs to be in constant contact with the world 24/7. I can think of nothing more ghastly.
Secondly there is the noise. Every bus ride, every gym, every restaurant, every public place is now populated by various utterly idiotic ringtones and bleeps and tinny songs and it's just so fucking annoying. I hate it, I really do, and because I hate it so it's the only sodding thing I notice.
Then there is the utter disrespect mobile users display to all and sundry, which leads me cheerily into today's hissy.
Observe, from the Irish Examiner.

"Gardaí in Croom, Co Limerick, declined to get involved in the matter after parent David Docherty contacted the local station.

Mr Docherty claimed school rules do not supersede the law and demanded the return of his son’s phone. He claimed the phone was confiscated after it “beeped” during class.
Mr Docherty also failed in his attempt to get the County Limerick Vocational Education Committee, which has overall responsibility for Coláiste Chiaráin, to get involved in his campaign.

School principal Noel Malone said the rule about mobile phones was implemented after detailed consultation between teachers, parents and management.

“With this rule there are no exceptions. There are a number of issues with regard to mobile phones in schools. There is the issue of integrity and staff need to be protected as phones can be used to take pictures.”

He also said the school has a very fair and reasonable policy on the matter.

Students can bring mobiles to school but must place them in lockers before going to class and can access them during breaks. If a student is found in breach of the rule, the phone is confiscated.

A sum of €26 has to be paid for its return that day. Otherwise it will be held by the school for four weeks.

Mr Malone said the phone confiscated from Mr Docherty’s son did not bleep, but gave off a full, loud ring in class.

“I have been principal for nine years and this is the first time there has been an effort to challenge the rule. Parents and students all sign up to the rules before coming to the college. Everybody is aware of them.”

Clap-clap! Take a bow Mister Docherty. Instead of telling your boy he shouldn't have brought his mobile into class-as per the rules- and serves him right, you try bring the law and VEC in. What a delightful sense of entitlement you and -naturally-your son must have, rules for thee but not for me. Golly, he will be a delight when he gets older, I"m sure. A real chip off the old block.

The school is absolutely right. In this day and age every single teenager seems to have a mobile, can you imagine trying to teach a class with bleeps and ring and vibrations going off every five seconds? Nightmare. I'd confiscate everyone of them too. Then I'd blunderbuss them into the next country. Which is probably why I'd never be a good teacher, what with carrying a blunderbuss around a lot.
Mobile phones, unless used sparingly and with GOOD REASON- I"m against them!
(also parents who are stupid gobshites, I"m against them too)

90 Comments:

Anonymous nonny said...

I could go happily without a mobile, I used to think I'd keel over and die should it leave my sight but once you have the house phone you can do without one, I only use mine for work really and even at that I rarely answer it. The only thing is being able to go online is great especially if you are waiting and bored. That father is a idiot, they wonder why kids are mad, why bother respecting anything when daddy will back you up and let you think you are right.

10:36 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

10:46 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Indeed.
You should see some of the astounded reactions I get when when I'm asked for my mobile number and reply that I don't have one. One girl actually didn't believe me and thought I didn't want her to have my number. Bizzare.

10:47 a.m.  
Anonymous nonny said...

How odd, I hope you told her she was right. I like being able to divert my mother and fathers number to their own voicemail, that is a huge plus with a mobile, but I could live without it.


I’m off have a delightful weekend boss !!

11:03 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Well have a good one.

11:13 a.m.  
Anonymous Babs said...

I have a mobile phone, I use it sparingly, I don't use it when I am in work, and I don't leave it on the table when I am out for lunch or dinner (like some of my friends do - and no it's not on silent and yes they do answer it when it rings and yes I do bollock them every time!!). A friend of mine has a 7 year old son, she said that for his next birthday she was buying him a mobile phone "what for?" I spluttered at her. "Security, you know just to be safe" was the reply. In my opinion a child that age and older shouldn't be out of the reach of their parent / guardian / teacher etc for long enough to require a phone for safety. The real reason she is getting him the phone is because he goes to a posh school and all of the other kids have them. She wouldn't admit to it though.

11:39 a.m.  
Anonymous KevanB said...

I have a friend who in the midst of a raft of personal and work problems lobbed his into the sea of Bray Head. Not the most ecologicaly sound of solutions to his problems, but I really do know where he was coming from...

11:49 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

For gawd's sake! 7? That's too much. Where's the child going to be? Iraq?

KevanB- I can absolutely see how that could happen. I sometimes want to rip phones out of other folk's hands and fling them into oncoming traffic.
I was stuck behind a guy a few weeks before christmas who was calling his friend he was about to meet IN town and he gave a running commentary about every stage of the journey-in between going 'wha'? Wha? Wha?'
It was all I could do not to slap him upside the head.

11:56 a.m.  
Blogger Dr. James McInerney said...

I was on the train from Limerick to Dublin about seven years ago, when there were smoking and non-smoking carriages. I was in a non-smoking carriage and so were four teenagers in tracksuits with football gear and their coach. One of the teenagers lit a cigarette and I pointed to the no-smoking sign and told him he had to put it out, that it was a no-smoking carriage. The coach called me a c**t.

Nice.

I bet those boys grew up to be real sweethearts.

12:02 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

G'dafternoon. Mobiles, I'm for 'em, ish. I'm on my third. One lasts me five years. It's oneof those ones that the iPhone is trying to catch up with. Tis fab. But enough of that.

Did you see TJ in that awful Aggie Browne movie? Heeheehaahaaheeheehahahahaeheheheeee... ahem. Sorry bout that. Is there actually any TJ left or is he all just recycled bits of his bum?

12:07 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Take heart Docky, he only spoke to you like that because you didn't look like a fucking cone headed scumbag. Scant praise but you've got to take it where you find it. He probably had a small mickey too.
I made a big lout take his mucky feet off a seat on a bus one day, he did what I said, but he waited until he was off the bus before giving me the finger. I must look very fearsome indeed.

Conan, I didn't see it, but I saw a photo of him and his son when he was awarded whatever medal the queen awards Welsh Warblers. His son look just like him, but grey haired and his skin was flesh coloured. It was most entertaining.

12:16 p.m.  
Anonymous Shebah said...

I couldn't be parted from my mobiles - I have two, one business, one personal. I love them. I love the fact that no matter where I am in the world I can make and receive texts (and photos) and be in constant touch with friends. One of my hobbies when I am abroad is going to view potential holiday homes, and I often text photos back to friends for feedback in case they want to go halves/quarters/sixths! It's not the mobile phones that are a problem, it's the ill mannered oafs that own some of them. Its purely a question of good manners. Anyone ill mannered enough to leave them on during a movie,lunch with friends, theatre, or driving etc. should be hung, drawn and quartered. People talking loudly into their mobiles on public transport are a complete pain. We need to be brave and tell them to shut the fuck up, we don't want to be bored with the minuteae of their lives. It's easy enough to check your calls in private. And having a mobile can be a lifesaver. Oh, and if you are in the right place at the right time, you can maybe get an unusual pic of some celeb that will make your fortune! Har!

2:12 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

Oooooooo...I just LOVE Tom Jones and his sexy pipes.

"I don't think anyone unless they are assassins or surgeons or heavily pregnant or waiting for an organ transplant, needs to be in constant contact with the world 24/7. I can think of nothing more ghastly."

It's true - I'm always surrounded by these idiots. Whether driving around and causing accidents or annoying everyone on the bus with the minutiae of their lives...why can't they spend a minute a day out of earshot of their friends?

I only got mine when I started driving, so that I can call Triple A if I ever need roadside assistance. It's not even on more than 5 minutes a week. I turn it on and get the weekly message from SPOUSE..."*Sigh*...not sure why I'm bothering since this is never on, but IF you get this message in time..." followed by some request for a stop at the store or letting me know he's going out for a beer with friends or something.

Massachusetts is exploring legislation to go 'hands free' soon, because a idiot was texting a friend while driving an SUV, and hit and killed a kid. I can't wait till it goes through and everyone has to hang up the fucking phone and drive!

2:35 p.m.  
Anonymous Sam, Problemchildbride said...

Tom Jones is like a medieaval wooden village with all that flammable love aura seeping out of him like creosote. One day he'll go up. Poof! And on that day he'll shine brighter than he very shone and ascend into heaven with a trio of rhythmically finger-clicking cherubim behind him for backing.

Mobile phones are horrible. I have one so I can give the number to the babysitter if I go out anywhere, but I don't know the number myself. it rang in a supermarket once but it was a wrong number. Other than that, I have no truck with them.

3:40 p.m.  
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3:40 p.m.  
Anonymous Sam, Problemchildbride said...

mediaeval - which is 50 years before the medieaval era kicked off, marked by a cut in spelling teachers that has continued to this day.

3:42 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Bah! First I stuck, 'what's new pussy cat' into my OWN head all day- and serves me right, but I really am fucking sick of work. All I want to do is go to Smurfs and have a pint of Smithwicks. No, two, two pints of Smithwicks.

3:56 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Is that two pints of Smithwicks, twice? ie four (4) pints of Smithwicks? Just asking. It is Friday after all. Personally can't abide Smithwicks unless it's a hot day and it's 25% lemonade-ised.

4:00 p.m.  
Blogger Lou said...

I'm going on the beers at 6pm and have two different parties to go to. Tomorrow I'm supposed to be down in Clapham to run 4 laps of the common (16k) with marathon buddy. At 9am.

I think I should maybe try not to drink tonight, but my GOD do I want a corona.

4:07 p.m.  
Blogger Lou said...

I'm going on the beers at 6pm and have two different parties to go to. Tomorrow I'm supposed to be down in Clapham to run 4 laps of the common (16k) with marathon buddy. At 9am.

I think I should maybe try not to drink tonight, but my GOD do I want a coronoa.

4:07 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

There was a big controversy about phones in the secondary schools here and I think they resolved to have them limited to lockers and confiscated in class. Students were using them to take pics and video and students and teachers to engage in cyber-bullying and they were also used to cheat on tests and assignments in class.

Any parent who wants to undermine the teachers and classroom for such a flimsy reason should be forced to home school them.

4:08 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Just two. Normally if I was going for a beer I'd drink Carlsberg, but for some unknown reason I have a hankering for Smithwicks-for I know it will be ale-y and good.
But as I look to my calender at the bottom of my screen, I see it is NOT the end of February, and I am only 39 days into my two month alcohol free load of old bollocks, (yes I feel better, yes I have more energy, yes I'm bored senseless) so I'm even more cranky than ever.

4:10 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Hah snap Lou, I'm running Chesterfield Avenue in the morning with CG.

Medbh. Absolutely, He-the father- was on the radio bleating on this morning too. Saying it was theft and being all outraged that his pwecious boy was being vwitimised. What a dip.

4:12 p.m.  
Anonymous Sam, Problemchildbride said...

You're more than half way there, hun. Don't give up now.

I'm taking it easy on the swallie myself at the moment. Tomorrow night we're going to another art show with a friend who has some paintings in competition. I might well be the only woman there not dressed in a caftan and turban of many colours. It is possible I'll need a snifter or two then, right enough. Happily the event is sure to be swimming in vino and enisled with nibbles. There are some kinds of art I can only appreciate with a drop of wine in me, as I cruise from nibble plate to nibble plate, making pleasant jaw-jaw.

Christ.

5:15 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Ooo arty soirees! I remember them. I can't say I was ever at one sober on purpose. Have fun!
Right, back to work. Sucky sucky suck suck.

5:38 p.m.  
Blogger Metaphysicallyfit said...

I have a cell phone, but I never answer it. I got it for business, and I used to answer when I still had that business, but I abhor talking on the phone. I keep so the school nurse can call me when my kid pukes in the hall or something. My husband calls me every day on his way home from work...he works less than 5 minutes from our house. (?!) WTF
I especially don't answer it then. I got one for son who's almost 14 (birthday next month). He lives with his dad out in the country in an area that's had a lot of break-ins recently, and since he's home alone every day after school, I thought this would ease my mind...it doesn't, though. If someone's going to break in and shoot him, I doubt they'll give him time to call me or his father first...I don't really see what the fuss is about to be honest.

9:35 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I get it for worry reasons, I really do, especially for keeping tabs on children- assuming they answer, but for idle chat? Or describing a bus journey, meh.
Right, time to make hot chocolate for CSI, no really, I really really am that lame. But come February 29th, I swear on non peel marmalade I will be three sheets to the wind at this time, maybe worse, maybe singing.

9:44 p.m.  
Blogger gimme a minute said...

Right, back to work. Sucky sucky suck suck.

I cannot believe that nobody went for that straight-line.

These Fridays are a struggle, huh? I don't watch CSI so I'm going to bed. At 10.23. On a Friday.

Sigh.

10:26 p.m.  
Anonymous eva said...

Tom Jones - yes. Me likey.
I hardly even knew who he was until summer 2000, when a good friend of mine introduced me to his music (she had loved him for about 20 years by then) and I spent the whole summer dancing to his tunes. Since then - me likey :) I'm now ready to throw my knickers on his stage..? (20 years to late..?)

Mobile phones - no. Me not likey. Me hatey. I have an ancient one. Partly because I've needed to be contactable for work, and partly because I've needed (need!) to have an instant (and cheap) means to stay in touch with friends across the world (for instance sms'es can be very effective when in need of instant advice in the pub, but your friend is in another country).

Anyway. In less then 2 hours it's Feb 9th. Which is my birthday. I will be 36.

Holy shit... I plan to spend it home alone. With a few bottles of wine. Which is not bad at all. Don't get me wrong; I'm in a good spot right now - I've moved around for about 10 years (6 countries) but now I've chosen what I think is the best one for me - Scotland - and finding the right f*cking country is enough of a reason to celebrate!

So FMC, I read your post yesterday (but I was too tired and I had too much to say to post a reply on the child birth issue for "childless" women - oh aye, I could write a book!)

But - you are going to walk in the Scottish Highlands in March...? Any chance you'll make a stop in Edinburgh?????

10:32 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Run Eva, I'm going to run the highlands. And nope I won't be over that way I'm afraid.
However it is now the 9th, so very happy birthday Daring, may you have another 36 years of delightful fulfilled living to look forward to.

Gimmie, you didn't miss much and Fridays are a bit shite, but goodnight all the same

12:05 a.m.  
Anonymous laughykate said...

My mobile is basically the only way anyone can get hold of me, so i praise the person who invented them. And I agree with Shebah, it's how people use them. Some people are just rude fuckers. And I don't think children should have them, or if they do, their phone shouldn't have the capacity to text.

I do remember on my first ever proper job carting around a phone the size of a suzuki swift that came with a curly black cord attaching the reciever to the battery pack. Oh how I threatened to throw that in the harbour on numerous occasions. Would have been fired if i had, though.

12:21 a.m.  
Blogger Mairéad said...

Like everything, phones in moderation can actually do you good! Very handy for my lot to tell me when their football, soccer, study, outing is over and they're ready to be collected. It saves me sitting in the car for ages waiting when I have 100 things to do at home. It saves them standing about in the cold / rain / whatever waiting for me to guess when they're ready.

12:53 a.m.  
Anonymous laura said...

hear hear, down with the mobile phone, embrace your inner luddite and be proud! its good to know im not alone in my hatred of the mobile (its the constant 24/7 thing that gets me, plus the 'txtspk') yes i do have one for work reasons but id really love to fling it over bray head like kev's mate... in fact i think we should all do it in solidarity.
i was reading a article awhile back about a guy who was so fed up with mobile phone conversations on his daily commute (in london) he bought some kind of a portable jammer, although i wouldn't recommend as they are illegal

1:34 a.m.  
Anonymous John B said...

Heya. Just came across this site: http://www.barstoolsports.com/article/new_jersey_freakshows/1958/
and your friend is Scott is there. Never saw such a bigger bunch of ridiculous people in the one place.. The debs picture where the two guys have just crawled out of a tub of fake tan is the best.

10:55 a.m.  
Anonymous John B said...

I'll try again. This page

10:58 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

John B! That is tremendous! I laughed, then I laughed some more, a thousand thank yous. OH man, the colour of them. the paces, the sheer all round wind tunnel -ness of them.
Oh, dear, oh dearie me, you can see how they all have been Scottified. Oh dear. Too funny.

LK, I remember seeing them when they came out first, like carrying a brick. I remember some chap on the telly saying they'd never catch on. Snarf.

Laura, they're 'talking' about having mobile free zones now, which would be nice, I could sit there, you too perhaps. We could bring a picnic basket. And I HATE txtspk. HATE IT! OH how I reserve my most mocking tones for that claptrap.

Mairéad- see, that makes sense to me, if only people DID use them for practical reasons.
Golly I sound like such an old fogey

Right, Now I have to go look at John B's link again. I'll be posting a Satdee MFFAPFFC after I get back form the Hellfire club.

11:28 a.m.  
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