Friday, February 29, 2008


What a monster bollocks the bigger of the cats is. Really, he chaps my hide with his cheek loafing and his, 'let's play attack the sleeping corpse' carry on.
Top of the morning to you chumlies. I and my Carlsberg sized hangover greet you all on this, leap gingerday. If Carlsberg did hangovers they'd probably be the worst hangovers in the world.
However, whatever shape my poor head, and curiously my poor knee, is in, it cannot be nearly as bad as that hussy Sam Problem Child Bride. I would not at all like to be the roof of her mouth this velly morning. What a delightful hussy she is. A pint drinking hussy of exceptional character.
Also, I have seen Gimmie's beard, it is fulsome and awesome, so I have re christened it, fawesome. Indeed he is fawesome. As indeed I am, or rather I ought to be, were I not still reeling about like a demented kipper. Oh all right, everybody is lovely and awesome today, you can be lawsome.
Speaking of fawesome-and kippers, Chumley Twenty Major's-who despite much procrastination and arse dragging- finally released his very first novel this week.
It would be remiss of me not to talk it up large, innit.
So, if you have some spare money in your pocket this weekend that is not earmarked for hooch or painkillers, my suggestion would be to go buy Twenty's book and read it. I have read it, it made me laugh out loud. It also made me groan out loud. Then there was the wincing. Then more laughing. Go buy it.
I have a truly disgusting ginger for today, but it is so vile my delicate stomach cannot bring myself to put it up this early. I will need to be fortified with more toast, more ibuprofen, and yea, more coffee before I inflict this hoolie on either myself or you. See how I care? Oh yes, it's that bad.
So, if you will excuse me, I need to go find a plaster and some more painkillers.
Thanks be to the marmalade that is raining today, I was supposed to be running in park at 10:30, ah ha, ah ha, ah ah, yeah. Good luck with that.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

You say if you have any money left go buy this book. Carlsberg ain`t so cheap so sacrifices have to be made. Sussed it, buy the book and have a few cans in - instead of going to the pub. Great savings to be made on bus or taxi fares, saves wear and tear on shoe leather and the bonus here is you get to laugh when you want, not when you feel obligated to at others jokes when socializing in company.

9:54 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Scrambled eggs on buttered toast with a bottle of lucozade sport, and possibly, if you're feeling adventurous, a jambon.
You will be cured and ready for another pint in no-time FMC.
Oh, don't forget the shower... never forget the shower...

9:56 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Carlsberg is not cheap at all. I have naught but fluff and some change in my pockets this morning.

Sheepie darling, I managed toast and coffee, that will have to do for the moment.

10:12 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eat a full breakfast, take ibruprofen then indulge yourself with a 20 minute shower. Then, warm and clean and fresh, go back to bed.

10:13 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Oh God BBB, I really really really wish I could do that. Stupid non magic work not doing its stupid self.

10:31 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My cure....a rubbish film...chased up by thai takeaways and a glass o hair o the dog a the end of the day. But you got a whole day to get through first. I find stuff with salt helps. It's a little after midnight here and I am thinking I will be taking my own advice tomorrow...

11:29 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I almost envy your hangover (almost).
I'm stuck with the flu and sipping Lemsip for the third day going now. Last night I was offered a glass of wine and accepted by default (old habits die hard). But shocking history was made in that I did not manage to drink it. I tried, but I could not drink it. I reverted to Lemsip. The situation is serious and I might have to have an ambulance on standby for tonight.

11:39 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Carlsberg, that's a band hangover. Next time you're in the US, try Miller High Life on for size. It'll bash your head in and turn your guts inside out for sure. On second thought, don't try High Life on for size.
I've cut back on the booze lately, so much so that the two glasses of red wine I had Wednesday night left me squinting with a monster headache until Thursday afternoon. I fear I've lost my edge.
Better luck to you with your hangover!

12:38 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ooh, a "band hangover"! Even worse than a "bad hangover"!

12:39 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

You would think as you get older you get more sense, but it appears not to be the case.

12:54 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

Happy Friday, Cat - hope the cloud clears in time for evening rocktails.

First thing Sunday the 16th, I'll have need of these hangover cures, so I shall print them out and keep them at the ready.

Now...go on with your ginger badness.

1:04 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

WEll done darling, steady as she blows.

1:05 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eat some avocado FMC, it's brilliant for hangovers and also yum-city!! I got this weird drink stuff called Aveda The (with the little acent grave over the e) it's from Brown Thomas and I didn't buy it my friend bought it for me so it's probably super duper expensive but it's also great for a hangover. Or you could try a berocca and an alka seltzer in the one glass, that used to be my cure before I discovered the avocado thing. Your poor head, mine will be the same on Sunday I think, I am not looking forward to it at all!

3:35 p.m.  
Blogger John Mc said...

It's the fitness thing, its not good for your drinking. I had 2 whiskeys last night, little(ish) ones. Not hungover today but knackered, despite 9 hrs sleep, its the bloody training.

Carlsberg is evil, although not as evil as Stella. Never, repeat never, mix Stella and lovely Jameson.

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