Monday, May 26, 2008

Pot, allow me to introduce Kettle.

My unbridled hatred of Reiki and mystical woo of any sort is based on my personal belief that woo is a load of codswallop and that people can no more speak to the dead or heal people by pretending to locate mystical powers than I can speak Greek. That people then charge other folk for this quasi healing and death talk further revs up my ire and makes little puffs of steam exit my ears. I hate mumbo jumbo, I DON"T think it is harmless, I don't have any tolerance for it in any way shape or form. Lately I've been bloody well banned from a forum because I dared suggest that people who claim they are psychics or mediums are actually charlatans and hucksters and easily found out. I said on that forum that I would be perfectly happy to go to ANY medium or psychic and see what they can tell me- if they were genuine I would happily eat shit and say so. But of course no one took me up on that and lo, next thing I knew I was persona non grata.
Well I wasn't surprised, folk don't like to be challenged or have their beliefs ridiculed. And I was probably being very bloody sarcastic or something. I can't help it. Something about lying thieving bastards fleecing stupid people out of their own money annoys the living shit out of me. I want to run around issuing slaps. I want to yell, 'Are you for FUCKING REAL!!!?' Quite why I get so incensed is beyond me, but incensed I get. But I try to limit my simmering hatred of woo to my own blog, that way I don't have to suffer gobshites asking me 'what are you afraid of?' on a regular basis. Oh yes, if you think mediums are shitehawks and reiki a load of hooey, the believers automatically accuse you of 'fearing' their particular brand of woo.
But what does make me laugh is when one woo worshiper attacks other variations of woo. This kind of thing makes me actually guffaw out loud.
Observe, from the mystical pages of the Daily Wail.

"Father Jeremy Davies, exorcist for Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O’Connor, the leader of Catholics in England and Wales, says that activities such as yoga, massage therapy,
reiki or even reading horoscopes could put people at risk from evil spirits.

In a new book, he also argues that people with promiscuous lifestyles could find themselves afflicted by demons.

And he says that the occult is closely linked to the scourges of ‘drugs, demonic music and pornography’ which are ‘destroying millions of young people in our time’.

The 73-year-old Catholic priest, who was appointed exorcist of the Archdiocese of Westminster in 1986, was a medical doctor before being ordained in 1974.

He has carried out thousands of exorcisms in London and in 1993 he set up the International Association of Exorcists with Fr Gabriel Amorth, the Pope’s top exorcist.

In Exorcism: Understanding Exorcism In Scripture And Practice, which is published by the Catholic Truth Society, Fr Davies compares militant atheists to rational Satanists, and blames them for a rise in demonic activity.


Yoga enthusiasts 'are in danger of being possessed by the devil'

He adds that ‘perversions’ such as homosexuality, pornography and promiscuity are contributing to a growing sense of moral unease.

He writes: ‘Even heterosexual promiscuity is a perversion; and intercourse, which belongs in the sanctuary of married love, can become a pathway not only for disease but also for evil spirits...young people especially are vulnerable and we must do what we can to protect them.

‘The thin end of the wedge (soft drugs, yoga for relaxation, horoscopes just for fun and so on) is more dangerous than the thick end because it is more deceptive – an evil spirit tries to make his entry as unobtrusively as possible.

‘Beware of any claim to mediate beneficial energies (eg reiki), any courses that promise the peace that Christ promises (eg enneagrams), any alternative therapy with its roots in eastern religion (eg acupuncture).’

Fr Davies argues that occult practices such as magic, fortune-telling and holding seances to contact the spirits of the dead are ‘direct invitations to the Devil which he readily accepts."

Yep, a priest who performs exorcisms is railing against people who stretch and meditate and believe in healing woo. Aha, I'm going to go now and make more coffee. I might take a painkiller or two since I am hungover like a goat and about to embark on a month long detox. Then I had planned to do half an hour of yoga. Golly I hope the devil's off busy doing devil stuff, like making more smegma. Feeling crook-like I am- the last thing I need is to be issuing invitations to the horned one unbeknownst to myself. That John Mc Better watch his back too.
Fucking woo.
I AM AGAINST IT!

Labels:

62 Comments:

Blogger Alleged Comedian said...

I did a similar disproving exercise with Astrology and the torrent of abuse aimed at me by these "will buy into any old shite" morons astounded me.

The money being scammed from Reiki etc is astonishing. I think signing up to any mass-marketed belief system, be it religion, astrology etc is a sign that the person is not entirely happy with their own head, and need it filled with other people's crap to stop it falling off or something.

I believe in me, and I have yet to let me down, take that reiki-fucks...

11:05 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Oh astrology is a load of donkey cock too. I once had a girl tell me she wouldn't date a gemini no matter how good looking of kind or nice he was. Needless to say she's still 'looking' for her ideal man.

11:12 a.m.  
Blogger PI said...

For a moment you had me worried: I won't have a word said against yoga after my surprise orgasm all those years ago, but you're for it so that's OK:)

11:31 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Ha, LOL Pat, that surprise orgasm was brought straight to you from the fiery pits of hell you know. The Devil himself probably tickled your fancy.

11:36 a.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

Homeopathy is still my favourite form of non-religious woo, but ya just cant beat the Catholic Church for consistently and spectacularly shooting itself in the foot every few months.

11:40 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

They are a gifted lot that way.

11:42 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good morning, you know that whilst I don’t believe in God I do believe that the Christian values of the likes of the Catholic Church are of enormous benefit to society but this does not alter the fact that I think Father Jeremy Davies is an utter dick head. He is abusing his position. I don’t think you can compare the likes of Raki to the Catholic church because the likes of the Catholic Church give something back with their money, but still they are not in a position to criticise. If you are going to give back to the community or give people something of real value for their money fine but if not well then fuck off.

Also, you know the forum you speak off, I do not think you should have been booted out. Are you not entitled to challenge an opinion? I mean sarcasm is one thing but unless you are being outright abusive they are doing nothing more than manipulating the forum to portray their opinion as being widely acceptable and perhaps much more annoyingly, right. The Internet is a valuable resource but unlike mainstream media, the information it is not regulated therefore, most likely, not researched and no element of fact is required. If a person like you does not challenge this forum how is the common reader suppose to make a comprehensive decision? Go back and burn their forum down or at the very least argue your point.

Nonny

11:45 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Reiki - poxy spell checker sorry.

11:48 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I can't go back, I've been banned for being skeptical. Plus I can't be arsed, I don't normally operate of forums anyway, but the out and out mind numbing wankology they were spouting roused me.
And no, I wasn't rude, but I was probably sarcastic.

11:56 a.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Er, the "Catholic Truth Society"? Does that not define oxymoron? Didn't they publish those ahem, helpful, guides for boys and girls that passed for sex ed in my youth?
Fuckers (c)B. Cowen

12:00 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Hmm, that sounds like Devil talk to me. Where did I put my torch and pitchfork?

12:04 p.m.  
Blogger Dr. James McInerney said...

The loonies are coming my way this week.

We must fight them in the trenches. Or at least, the Spa Hotel in Lucan.

(P.S. I don't mean actually fight with physical force, just metaphorical, even metaphysical fighting).

12:19 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

I'm sure a reiki-feng-shui-crystal-homeopathic-angle-grinding-chakra-cleansing-exorcyst could cure yer Ma's foot canker. Go on, buy her a session!

12:21 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

No power on or off this Earth can cure imaginary cancer, Conan. But I'm sure she'll find some relief in that too.

Docky! That's outrageous. Is there no end to the lengths woo peddlers will stoop? Evolution has a question mark over it but a big invisible creator god gets the green light?? A rattling pox on all of them.

12:36 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

By all that's holy, an ailment that defeats science AND woo! Behold the Pedal Limb, let us venerate it.

12:46 p.m.  
Blogger John Braine said...

"Quite why I get so incensed is beyond me"

Why more people don't is beyond me.

1:03 p.m.  
Blogger Kim Ayres said...

But Father whatsit was being consistent within his own belief system. Christians don't say there isn't any other woo but ours, they say every other woo will send you to hell - ours is the only one that will get you to heaven.

1:11 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

It does smack of 'my woo's bigger than your woo, neener neener' all right Kim.

John B, what are you so AFRAID of?

Conan, I'm thinking of a monty Python styled foot now.

1:15 p.m.  
Anonymous eva said...

Reading stuff like that makes my blood boil. If this Father Dick Head (thanks for that Nonny) aims to save people and send them to his heaven, then frankly I'd rather go to hell!

1:19 p.m.  
Blogger John Braine said...

>John B, what are you so AFRAID of?

Eh? Me no comprende el gordo-mami-gato!

I was saying it's beyond me why more people *don't* get incensed by mystical charlatans. I often do.

1:31 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I know your sort Eva, out drinking on the weekends, causing ructions. The devil's probably got you on speed dial. ( I'm probably on there too)

1:31 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why on earth would anyone want to go to Heaven, think of it people all the good people are in hell there be drink, sex before marriage, live performances from all the greats, I have the whole west wing booked yee can all stay with me.

I still can't believe for merely voicing your opinion you got thrown out. I mean is that not the epitome of a cult, at the very least manipulation? I mean manipulation is probably the biggest crime religion is guilty off. Why are people not as pissed off about this as me? Something has to be done.

Nonny

1:32 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Sorry John B, I know, I was just joking, because normally when anyone questions the woo they are automatically accused of being afraid of the all powerful woo.

1:33 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Nonny, I emailed the moderator questioning my banning and was informed they didn't like my 'tone.' Oh dearie me. I laughed.

1:35 p.m.  
Blogger John Braine said...

Ah! comprende comprende.

(Sorry I have no idea where this mildy offensive use of Spanish sprang from)

1:37 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Monday affects everyone strangely.

1:41 p.m.  
Blogger Kim Ayres said...

Of course as soon as someone has to boast that their woo is bigger, you just know they're compensating...

1:42 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Heh.

1:49 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jesus if they met me they'd be 'outraged' or 'in cardiac arrest' They are shower of civil servant see you next Tuesday's over there anyway.

Nonny

1:51 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I certainly appeared to me that their fear was entirely greater then mine.

1:56 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

then-than, spirit fingers.

1:58 p.m.  
Blogger Dr. James McInerney said...

The issue really is that somebody like Father wotzit is down to one God out of all the available Gods, whereas I am down to no God.

There's not that much difference really.

2:13 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

I laughed at the idea of the devil busy making more smegma.
Hee.
Also the idea that promiscuity puts demons in your vadge is hilarious.

2:17 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I genuinely couldn't give a fiddler's curse if folk believe in a god or not, it's when they start telling everyone else what they should and shouldn't be doing that I get dandered up. Or if they make blatantly bogus claims like those witless cretins who perform Reiki. Which I hate. I may have mentioned it.

2:18 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Oh smegma making is a full time job in itself darling. Idle hands are his work you know.

2:19 p.m.  
Anonymous problemchildbride said...

Devil's smegma:
1 part credulity to 2 parts religion + a spoonful of soft-boiled brains + a pointy hat.

Simmer for a lifetime at the temperature blood boils.

Serve with a sprig of fear.

2:32 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

That's Smegma-lite, for the really good stuff you've got to add overbearing piety and a hint of lemon grass. I hate lemon grass almost as much as I hate reiki. But not quite as much naturally.

Maybe I ought to go to the gym. I'm clearly not working. And I still in jammies.

2:37 p.m.  
Anonymous eva said...

Beware, I'm sure the devil is lurking in the gym as well. I'm thinking of starting to date him.

2:54 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I'm going to stalk him. He's ignored all my issued invitations so far, stalking's all I got left.

3:01 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I heard the Devil is Donny Osmond is disguise.

Nonny

3:03 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Bleeeeee. Eva you can have him.

3:05 p.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...

I still can't believe for merely voicing your opinion you got thrown out. I mean is that not the epitome of a cult, at the very least manipulation? I mean manipulation is probably the biggest crime religion is guilty off. Why are people not as pissed off about this as me? Something has to be done.

I demand an inquiry and a march of some kind.

3:23 p.m.  
Blogger Dr. James McInerney said...

Twenty: are you a farmer?

3:26 p.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...

heh, I'm just following their lead.

3:31 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

V vill vight deem on de bitches.

Nonny

4:01 p.m.  
Blogger daisy mae said...

it seems to me that all of these 'woos' boil down to one thing - the idea that people can't be happy on their own, that they need some sort of external validation. and that so much of this is motivated by the fear that people CAN and ARE happy on their own.

every day we learn just a bit more what a conservative, religious town we live in. and how crazy people get just trying to keep it that way.

4:52 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

FMC, I routinely sit in jammies until 1 or 2pm. Sometimes even later, so don't feel bad.

5:20 p.m.  
Blogger laughykate said...

What is the devil's number?

10:44 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Seven. I'm pretty sure it's seven.

8:09 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You can email him here

questions@donny.com

You may find your questions are already answered on his web page is http://www.donny.com/


Nonny

9:30 a.m.  
Blogger John Mc said...

According the the legendary, incomparable, fabulous The Pixies, the devils number is indeed 7.

I'm confused though, what have I got do to with your ire increase ;)

I realise this is about a week late, catching up after having to actually work for a living the last few weeks.

8:21 p.m.  
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