Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Anonymous Posters Are Tedious Poo Flinging Farting Monkeys

Oh GAWD, those fucking poo monkeys bore me so. Here's the thing about anonymous monkey posters, they almost NEVER have anything interesting to say, just the usual drive by shitty dribbling farts that fog up a good conversation or debate for a few seconds until the air clears once more. Worse still are the cowardly poo monkeys that populate ancient posts, dribbling their shit smeared tedium over long dead debates, stinking up the place, tee-heeing no doubt that their oh so INTERESTING bon mots are up for all the world to not read.
What attracts the Farting Poo Monkeys most are posts about woo, oh nothing makes the monkeys howl and gibber and fling poo faster than woo. Woo poo is passive aggressive shit of course, dull yellow with a streak of blood in it where the Monkeys had to squat hard and FORCE it out into the open.

"wow you are one hateful person!
whatever, believe what you want to believe. but jesus learn to settle down over shit that has nothing to do with you."

That iddy-biddy-shiddy Monkey Poo was for my post on animal telepaths. Classic, I can believe what I want to believe, but also no, no I can't.

"The relivance of my feelings for Reiki don't matter at this point. What bothers me is your extreme sense of anger, rage. The fact that something can make you that angry should tell you that one way or another, you need some help.

Good luck with that.

Peace & Namaste'

Har and indeed SNARF! That dribbling oozing slice of passive stinky monkey poo was after some sniping on my part about the fraudulent wankfest that is 'Reiki' spit-spit. I particularly like the 'Namaste' at the end, oh nothing tickles the Fatcat heart more than some Farting Poo Monkey squeezing out a belch of 'woo talk' along with Poo. 'Good Luck with THAT!' Har too much.

Next up, the quacking Monkeys of Christine Gallagher, stigmata riddled fraud pot who likes seeing imaginary things and taking VAST sums of money off the gullible to fund her terrific mansion living lifestyle.

"Do not let anger and hatred eat away at you, a phyiscal realisation of it like this blog will not solve what really torments you in your soul."

It wont? Weeeaaallly? Oh dear, okay then, I'll try not let non existent anger eat at my non existent soul. I might have toast instead.

'What the hell is going on here? Here is the truth: none of you know FOR SURE if this woman and her visions are fraud or not. Doesn't anybody have anything better to do?'

Ah, the classic, 'stop looking at me, stop looking at me!' cry of the underdeveloped poo flinger.

Wanna talk Lipotrim bollocks?
"I think you do talk some real shite on occasion. I know the shower of yes men and women who write here will not say so, vbut hey...if you write shite on the www, be prepared to be told so."

Oh the sneaky monkey, nothing of substance to say but manages to insult EVERYONE else too for having the temerity to agree with something this monkey doesn't. This particular poo flinger is the most cowardly of all. It flings poo from the very highest branches and scampers off lest it be called upon to offer up an actual opinion.

Of course I get the usual anonymous bunch of farting poo monkeys who feel I ought to nearly apologise every time I have an opinion they don't happen to agree with. Yeah, I call these Teletubbymonkeys. They just want the world to be full of La La, sunshine and fully edible custard flavoured poo.

So here it is. This is my blog, there are many like it but this one is mine(good bye Bane, you will be missed). The opinions expressed here are my own, the opinions expressed by the comment makers are their own. See how that works? If you want to make an actual useful pertinent comment-even if you disagree with something, feel free. If you want to be a farting poo monkey (FPM) flinging anonymous plop thither and yon then expect to be treated as the cowardly poo flinger you are, which in your case will mean being not fed and ignored. You don't like bad language? Tough shit. Get over it. This isn't school.
Namaste fuckers.



Blogger Twenty Major said...


9:43 a.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

Namaste? Bwahahaha - its like a feckin 80's yuppy saying ciao...

10:01 a.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

...nods in a sincere and supportive manner, respectfully and lightly touches the Fmc forearm... waits a few moments in case there is anything more that needs to be said, at this difficult time... listens to the Fmc breathing return to normal... proffers a box of tissues, and calmly says, "Breakfast IS important... but toast does not turn out exactly as we like it..."

runs away a whole lot faster than yer man that took the 100m gold in Beijing

10:11 a.m.  
Blogger laughykate said...

Don't give the fuckers oxgyen if they're going to abuse you and then hide behind the anonymity curtain.

11:12 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well said FMC, well said twice and thrice well said.
How very dare these creatures have the temerity, nay the brass neck (brass monkeys) to profer their diabolical utterances and upset the sensibilities of the bona fida blogger.

I will wager that so incensed with rage are these good people that they can barely finish off their lentils or finish off their basket weaving (monkey in a basket)

The use of monkeys in our society is all pervasive, why even daft Dave of right price tiles uses one in his commercials.
I do not know if he throws shite or not.

Why FMC, I venture to suggest that there has rarely been seen a more explosive outburst of pent up rage than your incisive comments this morning.

What I suggest FMC is this,
Take a nice strong cup of tea and a bun.
Have a run. (that ryhmes!)
Have a shite.
Have a shower.
Have a fag.
Have a drink.
Have a shag.

Have a good fucking blog.


11:28 a.m.  
Blogger morgor said...

I have a problem with your post FMC.

How could a poo flinging farting monkey be tedious?

They've got to be one of the most entertaining creatures ever created by the great noodly one.

11:34 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

You take that back Conan!
...pats toast-filled belly contentedly, contemplates lunch date with old friend...'
Cross? Rage filled? Why no, just making a point. It's not like Farting Poo Monkeys ever say anything stinging enough to really get on my wick, just regularly enough for me to want to bestow a name on them.

Now, tuna, why is tuna so utterly disgusting?

11:35 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

You've seen one monkey fling poo you've seen 'em all Morgor. Even that blasted white ape in Barcelona- who had poo flinging down to a fine art- didn't make me sit up and take notice.

11:36 a.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

Brilliant! Cowardly anonymous poo-flinging fucktards. I hate 'em.

12:11 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I’m half anonymous! I’m a new age, cyber half breed.

**Bites bottom lip, stares at floor and shits uncomfortably from one foot to another

I understand though.


12:19 p.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

"shits uncomfortably from one foot to another"

Imodium would help that.

12:46 p.m.  
Anonymous Nonny said...

Ah fuck you, did you never make a typo????

1:46 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Any Miss Cat,

I assume that you don't want my contributions anymore, seeing as how I don't "fit in" .
That's fine with me, I shall not be bothering you again.


1:47 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I did not post those last comments as I am sure you know.

Nonny (The real one)

2:33 p.m.  
Blogger morgor said...

I was thinking you were getting a bit stroppy there Nonny!

2:42 p.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...

Impersonating people is gayer than George Michael hanging around the toilets in the YMCA

2:47 p.m.  
Blogger Robert Hogan said...

Great Post, agree with you on the anonymous comments, I stopped accepting them a while back.

Also agree with twenty on the impersonation of others, I recently had my ip cloned, what a fucking week of mirth that was.

You would think these uber-geeks would have better things to do, like play RPG on t'internet and read comics or something

3:05 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Fab, lots of Nonnies and all of them Annoymous (sic)

3:25 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Twenty, that's rich coming from someone who's blog is nothing more than a cesspool of bad taste and sub standard writing.
Why don't you just fuck off?


4:15 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh yes and twenty...he be that little man with inflated ego...who doth have many hundreds of unsold books, as no one found them funnnaaaaay....awwwww...everyone say awwwwwwwww

Nonny (the real one)

4:24 p.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

Any way of blocking trolls FMC?

4:28 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Nah, fuck 'em, let them bore on. I know it's not the real Nonny, everyone does, so let them throw poo until they get bored. It's not like they're that interesting or irritating. They're just doing exactly what I predicted they would do.

4:41 p.m.  
Blogger Kim Ayres said...

I think Binty expressed it best with this old blunt cogs strip

4:58 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Spot on Kim!

5:02 p.m.  
Anonymous problemchildbride said...

Well said, fmc. But there's nothing you nor I nor anybody else can do for these annoyemii. They are afflicted with a condition called Terminal Outrage. The need outrage and cowardly trolling like a junkie needs junkie-juice. The only way to regard them is with 1 part contempt and 2 parts pity.

6:45 p.m.  
Blogger Manuel said...

+quality.......I had an anonymous chappie call me a racist as he thought I was picking on Australians....Pfft ! It was taxi drivers......idiot.....

11:45 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

That Teletubbymonkey Bastid!

12:13 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG FMC... you make me laugh so hard I'm likely to shite myself...

11:18 p.m.  
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8:29 a.m.  

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