Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Painful decisions in the a.m regarding Tom Dunne.

Like the waitress who stood her ground unafraid to skirt the issue of fairness and productivity and notions of genderfied outfitular nonsense, I have reached a terrible but necessary conclusion. I must break up with Newstalk.
It's been a fine few years, but it's over now, my heart's just not in it any longer. It's not me it's you.
Oh I know Brenda Power used to make me gibber with incandescent rage, I know Orla Barry used to twee the ring off me. I know 'Ger 'n Claire' are dull as dish water and Claire pronounces 'issue' as 'iss- ue. I know Emo Keane is a sneaky troll with overground passes, delusions of Kilroy Silk and a fetish for Mary O Rourke, I know George Hook is really Churchill the insurance dog. I know I know, there was some good stuff there. But it does not matter. What no man could tear asunder has been torn asunder by one man.
Tom Dunne take a motherfucking bow.
I almost forgave you the long and protracted talks about your winter coat and how fond you were of it even though some people thought you ought to get a new one and anyway wasn't there a tear in the pocket. ALMOST. I forgave your proud refusal to put on central heating even though you said the temperature egg in your children's room went bright blue from near freezing conditions. Hey they are your kids, if you want to freeze them that's your business.
I might have forgiven you a lot of things, but then you regaled me with a 7 minute discussion on your breakfast, organic wheatabix and non organic wheatbix, THAT YOU MIXED!! You daredevil you. Then you had Bosco on. Bosco. The only ginger I've never loved. BOSCO! That whiney puppet who deserves a starring role in The Wickerman. That muppety puppety drug taking magic door seeing prude with its high pitched arse scalding whine, on radio, live on radio. Where real people can hear it??
Oh no Tom Dunne, it's over, O.V.E.R. I've listened to Gerry Ryan humming along to Snow Patrol this morning and it still hasn't rankled as much as your Doctor Hibbard like tittering. Admittedly I haven't heard him talk about 'lurries' nor have I heard anything about the state of his mickey yet, but STILL!
Hello second coming? I think not, but I feeeeeel much better.

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24 Comments:

Blogger JL Pagano said...

I agree with you a thousand percent.

10:23 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Dear lord I actually remember that show, he had some idiot on waffling on about how his girlfriend has him 'conditioned' to buy the right type of shirt.

10:31 a.m.  
Anonymous The Bad Ambassador said...

I think it has been time for you to see other mid-morning talk shows (and for Newstalk to see other radio-listening workers) for some time now. It just wasn't working out.

Sure, it may be a little painful for a while. You may feel as though a little piece of your soul is missing. You will probably find yourself absent mindedly turning the radio dial up towards the 100's or fondly recalling the good times you shared together before you remember that "its not like that any more".

A brave, but ultimately correct decision. Its time to move on.... unless newstalk realises what it has lost and, in an effort to win you back, buffs up and gingerfies itself.

10:33 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I like your thinking BA. Unsure as I am of how much 'D G RYAN LINE' I can cope with, who might you suggest I sample of a morning until Newstalk realises the errors of its way?

10:34 a.m.  
Anonymous The Bad Ambassador said...

Sometimes I like to listen to old audio recordings of "Garda Patrol" and "Today Tonight" (particularly those from 1983/84 when elections were so entertaining we had 16 of them).

During work I tend to listen to MP3s for the most part - although if its chat/discussion you want podcasts are the way forward.

Also check out syndicated radio shows available over the web - particularly those of one Robert Zimmerman and Little Steven van Zandt (Silvio Dante)

10:43 a.m.  
Anonymous Babs said...

The Ryan Line is now open...god no FMC, he is such a smarmy horrible man, I can barely even look at him, he gives me the physical creeps!

10:44 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

He's a bit much all right, especially when he goes into cycnical outrage mode.

BA, today/tonight heh. That takes me right back. I may need to sample Pat the Plank and see what goodies he has on offer. I find him relatively palatable on radio, never on TV, NEVER.
( Hmm, now I have a mental image of pat dancing around in a leotard singing about his goodies, er, okay no, do not want)

10:47 a.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

I'm thinking of entirely giving up listening to Newsquawk and Toady FM until their owner, one Denis Communicorp O'Brien, gets his wealthy ass back into this country and pays his taxes here.

Pot, as you say, is tolerable on the radio.

Biggest problem across the board is the technology that schedules the ads so the rest of the programme has to fit in around them in rigid segments. It means you get the same formula on every programme on every station. If anyone knows of a station that does things differently I'd love to hear of it.

11:45 a.m.  
Blogger JL Pagano said...

@ Conan : I've never heard a single word I've disagreed with on Raidio Na Gaelachta.

12:39 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I hate radio adverts at the moment too, that Garmin.com one makes me want to hurl the radio to the bottom of the garden and then take a flame thrower to it.

1:32 p.m.  
Anonymous Babs said...

I hate that feckin Garmin ad. I would like a Garmin though, that'd be nice....
Gerry Ryan wrecks my head, especially when he starts to talk about periods

3:49 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

It's just when he talks at all. Half an hour of him and I had to revert to no radio at all. I'd forgotten about his twaddle. Thankfully I've never heard him waffling about periods. Why men must talk about periods is beyond me, I don't talk about having a penis that shoots pee in different directions in the morning.

5:19 p.m.  
Anonymous Green Ink said...

That is fucking uncanny FMC. I made the same resolution today.It was the man shed talk that made me vomit all over the dashboard. A fucking Man Shed. Well Tom you're a Dick Head.

5:53 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Oh my God I missed that, what on earth is a 'man shed'?

6:21 p.m.  
Anonymous Babs said...

Men (I mean them like Gerry Ryan) seem to always want to talk about periods, I think they think they are "cool" because they're not embarrassed to talk about lady problems. Only today a guy in my work was moaning about having some sort of pain, I said "oh I have Tylenol if you want" and he says "eh is that some sort of menstrual thing". What the fook? No it's a pain killer for your pain.

8:48 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Yep, painkilllers, last bastion of the bleeding.

9:20 p.m.  
Anonymous Ronnie said...

Spot on, as usual, poor oul' Tom just doesn't cut it, does he ?,and I'm the same with Pat Plank as I was with Gaybo, alright on radio but couldn't bear him on t.v. I enjoy Ray Darcy sometimes, especially when he mispronounces lots of words.Did you ever try Jango on your computer, it plays whatever music and whichever artists you want it to play.

9:44 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I haven't Ronnie. It's not so much the music I'd miss, more the blather, plus I like to keep my eat tuned to the 'goings on' of the day to day stuff. But Tom, dear oh dear, he's pushed me to the limit I feel.
Pat's not bad at all on radio is he? He sounds engaging and like he knows his stuff. But on telly?? Oh no. Oh LAWD no.

11:14 p.m.  
Anonymous SinĂ©ad said...

Have you got NTL on your TV? You can listen to Woman's Hour on BBC4 in the mornings...

12:13 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I might give that a bash, thank ducks.

12:36 p.m.  
Anonymous Betty said...

I have to say FMC that listening to His Nibbs today my first thought was why don't you home school your poor unfortunate childer in your Msn Shed since it seems you are quite obsessed with it!

12:13 a.m.  
Anonymous Betty said...

It would appear that les hommes are quite devoid of masculinity without their ''Man sheds''

12:16 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Dear Lord Betty, he wasn't still going on about it was he?

1:19 p.m.  
Anonymous Green Ink said...

A man shed is a shed with a bar, essentially. Not a bad idea in principle, but cloying Dunne's christening of it and his schoolboy guffaws make me think he's sharing Ray D'Arcy's brain cell.

1:36 p.m.  

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