Arrest me Officer, I'm guilty of twee in the first degree.
This made me laugh out loud, frightening myself as I was rather grumpy before hand.
"It was the 22nd time Mr Kennedy had appeared before the bench since his first arrest in March 2007 and he has spent 123 hours in police custody. Since his first brush with the law he has faced charges including possession of an offensive weapon – his truncheon and a fake CS spray – and allegedly fitting a flashing light to his car.
But so far none of the cases brought against him have yielded a successful prosecution and with two further court dates pending, there is mounting anger over claims that the legal actions have cost some £170,000 of public money and have risked turning the police in and around his native Aberdeen into a laughing stock.
The latest followed his arrest while driving home from Aberdeen's Tiger Tiger club dressed in full uniform. He said he had been forced to flee the nightspot fully clothed after being threatened by an angry boyfriend."
Oh Sergeant Eros, what a big truncheon you have! Oh honestly, you'd have to imagine in this day and age, what with crime being rife and all, that police might have more to do with their time than arresting a 25 year old stripper, preventing him from warming the cockles of his audience.
Seriously. No seriously.