Imaginary Cancer.

'You should ring our mother.' Etheline said as she rubbed the top of the Marklar's head much to his annoyance. He was already out of sorts seeing as Etheline's Chihuahua, Poppy's Big Surprise/ Angel/ Toffee was busy hurtling through the house after any cat that was silly enough to stay floor level, i.e Puddy, who is content to play kiss chase with any small or large dog.
'Why?'
'She has cancer.'
I put my cup down very slowly.
'Actual cancer? Any specific type of cancer?'
'Nope, just the usual cancer.'
'Has she gone to a doctor?'
Etheline sorted a laugh. The Marklar flinched. In the hall Puddy allowed herself to be cornered and then proceeded to fling herself on Toffee, using her superior body weight to roll the startled Mexican über rat to the floor.
'For fuck's sake.'
'She made our brother drive her to a funeral last week and then refused to get out of the car. She sat there with the window rolled down telling anyone who would listen her foot was sore.'
I shook my head. 'Probably a symptom of the cancer. it's most likely a tumor pressing against her seek attention glands.
'Certainly a symptom of something.' Etheline withdrew her hand as the Marklar unsheathed his pretty impressive claws. 'You know she says if you just apologise you can put this row behind you.'
'Etheline, it will be a cold day in hell before I apologise to that woman.'
Etheline sighed. In the hall Toffee was discovering just how raspy a Puddy tongue can be.
'She's not actually going around telling people she has cancer is she?'
'She's voiced her suspicions to one or two people.'
I am impressed despite myself. The Lilac Couch has had imaginary cancer so many times now her brave imaginary survival from this terrible disease must surely be the stuff of imaginary science.
I finish my coffee and in the hallway Toffee submits to Puddy as all of us must eventually. Her love is boundless, unlike mine.