Drink Driving Excuses.

Holy crap, I've read some fine excuses why someone might be drink driving but the one I read to day in the Indo takes the biscuit-custard cream thanks for asking.

"A MOTHER of three children narrowly avoided a jail sentence for her second drink-driving offense after she drove away from her home moments after catching her own mother in bed with her husband.

Fiona Porter (24), with an address in Moyross, Limerick, appeared in Limerick District Court yesterday after she was charged with drink-driving in the city last week.

Porter committed the offence after she fled from her home in her husband's car when she caught him in bed with her mother.

Judge Aeneas McCarthy heard that the grandmother and unfaithful husband had been having an affair for two years and the defendant's life was shattered as a result.

Porter was previously disqualified from driving for one year after she committed a similar offense on April 22 last.

She has three children, aged six, five and three months."

"Judge McCarthy noted that she was driving while disqualified and imposed a four-month prison sentence, which he suspended on account of the circumstances. He ordered Ms Porter to be of good behaviour for two years and banned her from driving for six years.

Her licence is also to be endorsed."

Okay, and yack. I'm trying to picture the paramour and the Lilac Couch getting it on and what my reaction might be if I stumbled upon such an act. I doubt I'd drive away, I'd probably go to the bathroom and bleach out my eyes. In fact I might just go smack my head against the wall right now to see if I can shake that image from my imagination.

I wonder what her reason was for the first drink driving offense? Oh God, no I don't, she probably caught her mother doing a sexy dance....in nothing but tassels and a thong...a lilac thong...Oh jesus, I've got to stop, it's too early!