Babies, birth and cigars.

Oh the Daily Mail, how you doth make me laugh, swear and cause my blood pressure to rise up from the sluggish deep like a wayward cephalopod. Honestly, without you I doubt I'd be able to function before nine am. You're like a shot of adrenaline, a double expresso from Barcelona, a quick snort of columbian marching powder. Yep, the indo used to rile me up, but these days only the Sindo makes by eyebrows flutter, but oh Daily Mail, nothing will ever surpass the deep loathing I reserve for you.
Today's rancid witterings is all about the babies, or rather the birth of said babies, and how ladies, wan faint creatures of delicate sensibilities that we are, ought to be left in peace while they deliver their bee bees, sorry babies- preferable at home, sans drugs and with maybe an aunt or two to help, and how the proud fathers ought to be out playing golf and sharing cigars, perhaps downing peaty whiskey to drown the bee bees newly crowned head.

Poor put upon 'top obstetrician' Mike Odent' has been struggling under the PC yoke of suppression for eons, but HUZZAH! finally through the power of the Mail he can cast his view upon the waters of life. And what are they I hear you ask?
Why this...' For many years, I have not been able to speak openly about my views that the presence of a father in a delivery room is not only unnecessary, but also hinders labour.'

Hear that selfish bitch sisters? You have made Mike feel oppressed. Now get this. Women giving birth is women's work and men are nothing more than a hinderance. Women don't give birth in a gentle pleasing manner if their partners are there, faffin about and getting in the way. And partners suffer so when forced to attend, poor lambs. Right? Got it?
Whaddya mean you require proof that those clumsy men are nought but a pesky pain? Bitch please. Because Mike god damned well said so. And if you persist with this shit you're gonna wind up in the poor house with no mans, you heard me, no mans.
Avast.
"As for the effect on a man - well, was I surprised to hear a friend of mine state that watching his wife giving birth had started a chain of events that led to the couple's divorce?"

You fucking selfish hussies! Well? Was Mike surprised? Well? You can bet your ass he wasn't. See See what you're doing? Expecting the father of your unborn child to be at the birth leads to DIVORCE! And what then? Huh huh?

Oh, you don't believe it? You still think some daddies might like to be present to welcome their child into the world. PHOOEY! Be prepared for the next ZINGER.

Doctor Odent recalls ...'another lady describing how the day after her husband had watched her deliver their child, he had fled to his hometown of Rome, and never returned again?

For many men, the emotional fallout of watching their partner have their baby can never be overcome."

See? See what you wymmin have wrought? With your rights and your 'liberation' and your out and out bitch selfishness. DO you want your husband to go to ROME? Is that it? Want them to take to their beds? How could you? What the fuck is wrong with you? I mean I know you're going through childbirth and it's painful and all that nonsense- most of which I have tuned out by the way and now I"m doing 'wah-wah' signs with my hand- but what about him? ROME! You PC bitches better remember that.
And you men, what the hell is is with you lot? Like pink do ya? Why aren't you downstairs boiling water and pacing helplessly when your partner goes into labour? What are you, sissies? Don't you know your women need time to gaze at the beebee? To smell the bee bee? What the fuck are you bothering her for? Why are you thinking you'd like to bond with your own child? Snap out of it! Why aren't you off killing something or at the very least down the pub? You're the reason pubs are struggling, selfish toads.
What do you mean you want to be part of the experience? What the hell do you mean you might actually want to be there at the birth of your child? Are you mad. Didn't I already explain about the hinderance factor?
Wymmin and Nancy boys, the lorra yer.