Gordon Ramsay has been having an affair.

I swear to marmalade, you could have knocked me down with a glazed ham when I read this yesterday. I thought, 'surely not', then I thought, 'poppers?" And 'what on earth is a professional mistress? How do you go from amateur to professional?'
Then I thought of Max Clifford, then I thought of money and book deals and suddenly everything made some kind of sense again. I had another glass of wine and shook my head sadly.
'Paramour, Gordon Ramsay has been having an affair for SEVEN YEARS!' I said.
'You're surprised?'
'Well yes, he's always banging on about his wife and how much he loves her and what not.'
'Pfft.' the Paramour said, 'What can you expect from a Rangers/Chelsea Supporter.'
Black and white in my beloved's head. Black and White.



UPDATE:-Gordon Ramsay is reportedly considering legal action after it was alleged he had been conducting a seven-year affair with a ‘professional mistress’. Britain’s Daily Telegraph quoted a source close to Ramsay and his wife of 12 years Tana, as saying they were considering suing tabloid News of the World, which ran the front page allegations.