Monday, November 24, 2008

Gordon Ramsay has been having an affair.





I swear to marmalade, you could have knocked me down with a glazed ham when I read this yesterday. I thought, 'surely not', then I thought, 'poppers?" And 'what on earth is a professional mistress? How do you go from amateur to professional?'
Then I thought of Max Clifford, then I thought of money and book deals and suddenly everything made some kind of sense again. I had another glass of wine and shook my head sadly.
'Paramour, Gordon Ramsay has been having an affair for SEVEN YEARS!' I said.
'You're surprised?'
'Well yes, he's always banging on about his wife and how much he loves her and what not.'
'Pfft.' the Paramour said, 'What can you expect from a Rangers/Chelsea Supporter.'
Black and white in my beloved's head. Black and White.



UPDATE:-Gordon Ramsay is reportedly considering legal action after it was alleged he had been conducting a seven-year affair with a ‘professional mistress’. Britain’s Daily Telegraph quoted a source close to Ramsay and his wife of 12 years Tana, as saying they were considering suing tabloid News of the World, which ran the front page allegations.

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31 Comments:

Anonymous red leeroy said...

He crystallized it down into its purest form. Simple. Perfect. Damning.

9:25 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Yep, apparently if you're a Chelsea/ Rangers supporter you're capable of anything.

9:31 a.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

STOP READING THE DAILY MAIL!!!

9:35 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I can't, it's like crack cocaine. I know it's bad for me and doing terrible damage to my inner human, but yet I am COMPELLED to read it almost daily.

9:38 a.m.  
Blogger morgor said...

STOP READING THE DAILY MAIL!!!

haha, i was going to say the same thing.

11:12 a.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Oh, I can see the tabloid headlines now...
Gordon Rammey
or Gordong Ramsey
or even Gordong Rammey...

With lots of 'sous chef' double entendres.

11:16 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Heh.

11:22 a.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

Did you see the piece by Carrie Fisher? She's so funny.

12:30 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I didn't see it M, what was she in?

12:43 p.m.  
Blogger Dr. James McInerney said...

I like Karl Popper who invented falsificationism.

Everybody should try a bit of Karl Popper.

I has to re-type my comment, 'cause I typed pooper.

Nobody likes a pooper.

2:44 p.m.  
Anonymous Beady said...

Dunno but I would'nt go anywhere near there knowing Jeffrey Archer had been before...

Given what I learned from CSI, there's bound to be some "Essence of Archer" still hanging around...

3:08 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Essence of Archer and Pooper, coincidence? I think not.

Seven years, I can't get over that. Who would have an affair for seven years? Who could be bothered with seven years of deception. Unless his missus knew of course.

4:00 p.m.  
Blogger daisy mae said...

i am going to cover my ears and bury my head in the sand and pretend i know nothing of this affair!

4:12 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Whatsup DM, don't tell me you've got gra for the Ram!? He looks like an Easter Island statue.

4:19 p.m.  
Blogger daisy mae said...

no no no, it's not like THAT. the man is fascinating in his hideousness-it's as if he's made out of plastic or something. it's just disappointing that someone who seems beyond this sort of thing is really up to their neck in it.

but as long as it doesn't affect any of his television shows, i suppose i've no complaints.

4:23 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Ah, I must admit I rather like him on television, but a big part of my liking him was I always thought how nice it was that he was so openly 'up' for his family and how much he seemed to love his wife.
So if he's been dipping his wick elsewhere for years I've got to reevaluate my thoughts, not that he gives a shit what some woman in Ireland thinks.

4:32 p.m.  
Blogger Dr. James McInerney said...

Gordon Ramsay is an anagram of....

My Gonad Roars.

6:06 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

Here's the link:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1088513/Dad-ran-Liz-Taylor-Cary-Grant-lectured-drugs-George-Lucas-ruined-life-The-extraordinary-autobiography-CARRIE-FISHER.html

6:17 p.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...

Gordon Ramsay is an anagram of....

My Gonad Roars.


As is 'Gray, sad moron'.

6:19 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

'...and my dad flew to Elizabeth's side, making his way slowly to her front.'

Oh she's terrifically droll, Medbh. Can't wait to read it.

6:54 p.m.  
Blogger Kim Ayres said...

That's the problem with chefs: they want to bake their cake and have it, and have everyone else's too.

6:56 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Perhaps bow that his goose is cooked he'll be a bit more careful where he lays his baster.

7:23 p.m.  
Blogger Manuel said...

yes I'm with sheepo on the Daily Mail thing.....

11:47 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

I know, FMC. Fisher has such a knack for relating the grim or fucked up details without asking for your pity or playing the victim.
Her parents CREEP me the fuck out.

11:57 p.m.  
Anonymous eva said...

Apart from everything else, I thought why on earth would a man in his particular position have an affair with a woman who's a 'professional mistress' (allow me to laugh) and have already given out a book about being 'the other woman'? I mean.. dingdong, wouldn't that in itself ring any warning bells before you even go there...?

9:07 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

It would ring my alarm bell, but then there's nowt as strange as folk.

9:22 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As someone pointed out Gordon Ramsay is an anagram of My Gonads Roar. And Jeremy Clarkson admits 'Only Cars Jerk Me'.
"My Gonads Roar, The Twisted World of Anagrams" is a brilliant new book, which BBC Radio described ad brilliantly clever and very funny, received 5 stars in Time Out and The Independent said 'It made me laugh out loud'. Buy now from Amazon:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/My-Gonads-Roar-Anagrams-Celebrity/dp/0571243940/ref=pd_ts_b_34?ie=UTF8&s=books

3:17 p.m.  
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