Body Parts.

I love the paramour, I love almost everything about him. His deep rumbly voice, the way he laughs, his green/brown eyes, his arms, his high girlish shriek when I leap out from hiding and yell 'BOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!' at him. Yep, it's safe to say I am quite smitten with him. Plus he seems willing to put up with me and that says a lot about the man. Don't get me wrong,I'm a nice person, but I am, or rather I can be, what Gamma used to call, 'a handful'.
But as much as I love that man I cannot love his feet.
They are...well they're freakish and splayed and hairy. They look like they should belong to Fred Flintstone.
Actually I don't like feet much in general, and this being summer there are oodles of pale gnarly flip-flopped specimens all over the camp.
Oh don't roll your eyes, surely EVERYONE has some body part that squiks them out slightly. Mine is feet. First of all what is it with people whose second toe is LONGER than their big toe? It's quite bizarre. And then there are people with little toes that seem to have almost turned all the way into the second last toe, a toe merger of sorts, then there are the bunions and hammer toes and yellow toenails...bleaugh. It's too much. I once sat transfixed, horrified, baffled and befuddled by a dreadlocked Trusty on a metro in Barcelona whose toes looked like fingers! It was unnatural, she could have done sign language with them. Ten long tanned digits that wibbled and wiggled with seeming abandon, untethered by the laws of biology. And she had a silver ring on one of them, which I'm willing to bet the toe probably asked for.
Yack. I got off two stops early, lest her toes noticed I was staring and asked me that the hell I was looking at.
(answer, 'I don't know, but it's looking back' complete with schoolyard sneer)
Anyway, my own feet are charming. I can just about stand them. Except that time I lost a toe nail from running, then I had to avoid looking at them at all cost for a number of weeks.
Also, the film My Left Foot gave me the willies for weeks. And Tarrentino's obsession with Uma's great big long boats collied my wobbble too. And don't even get me started about the episode in Sex and the City where Charlotte lets some sales assistant get jiggy with her feet in return for free shoes.
Shit, now that's all I can think of.
Feet, I"m not against them, because they are very necessary, and they're good for holding on fancy shoes, but I'm no great fan.