Nightmare Kid.

Every so often the tranquil world of the fatcat will be shot to shit by a fit of laughter so genuine and so unexpected that it leaves one breathless and glad one ain't in public.
Behold, other bloggers dudes and dudettes alike, for I bring you a story of such weeny tweeny creeping weeping responsibility shedding wonder, that I a gal normally not known for gales of laughter, almost lost my CHAMPION breakfast of bacon and eggs.

Behold I say...

"RELAXING after a long day Lewis Green helps himself to a beer from the fridge, lights up a fag and settles down with his family in front of the telly.

Nothing unusual – except Lewis is only TEN. The tiny tearaway is the youngest ever to receive an Asbo and has made life a misery for neighbours. For them it is like living through an episode of TV’s Shameless.

Here mum Stephanie talks about her boy and how he was brought up.

STEPHANIE is outraged at a court’s decision to give her son an Asbo and to name and shame him.

The part-time cleaner says: “I don’t think it’s fair Lewis has been given the Asbo because he has been behaving himself for a few months now. Stephanie, 40, has lost count of the times she has been to court with baby-faced Lewis, though she now believes his behaviour is under control.

He has been a regular smoker since he was eight and moved on to cannabis a year later. Shockingly, Stephanie admits she gives Lewis her own cigarettes — he even lights up a Mayfair just seconds after The Sun photographer finishes taking pictures.

Stephanie says: “He’s not doing drugs any more. He has the occasional cig — about five or six a day. But I’d rather see him have a cigarette than know he’s going to do it behind my back, which will lead to other stuff.

“I’ve told him it will damage his lungs but I smoke and my husband smokes so he doesn’t listen. I’ve said I wish I could stop for the benefit of Lewis.

“I still let him spark up my cigarettes in the house but he’s stopped on the cannabis.”

I can't go on, there's more to the story of course, more whinging, more finger pointing, more wah-wah, but that last sentense cracks me up.

Oh no wait, I've got to add this bit it.

"“We have suffered more than anyone else with Lewis’s behaviour but instead of anyone having sympathy for us, people just automatically blame the parents.”

The strict terms of the Asbo mean Lewis is under a night-time curfew, is barred from possessing a knife or a screwdriver in public, throwing stones or eggs, having drugs or alcohol or being drunk.

The judge said, as an arrogant Lewis slept in court, that the order was not necessarily to punish Lewis, but to protect people living in his community."

Sweet Chultha, this kid is ten, can you imagine him in another few years? But hey, at least he's given up the hash, right? RIGHT?