Lessons.
Ah bank holiday weekends. A time to catch up with friends, spend time with lovers, eat Easter eggs-not me- go dancing, take romantic strolls, bliss right?
Okay. So here are some things I learned. I hope they help y'all.
1- Don't drink loads of pink drinks on friday night. Sure they taste yummy, and sure they're so sweet you can't taste the alcohol, but it is there!
2- Go home. Do not go to that club with the comfy chairs and loud music and late bar. You're drunk already, you said, 'matrizi' when you meant 'martini', go home!
3- Next morning, take painkillers as soon as you get up, nobody likes a martyr.
4- If you own a cat or more, do not,-under any circumstances- attempt to clean out litter trays unless you have rubbed vicks under nostrils. Gagging when hungover will result in vomiting.
5- Do not accept friends' invitations for late lunch and Mimosas. Hair of the dog is a myth.
6-Do go home after lunch, ignore pleas of come on, let's go shopping. Shopping after Mimosa results in buying stuff that you will have to return at some point.
7- Do not go dancing again, you are drunk-ah forget it, here comes the pink drink.
8-Sunday- when having brunch do not think it would be really great to go for a really romantic stroll. You are really wearing six inch heels.
9- Get a taxi home-nobody likes a martyr. Don't go out for a nightcap!!! It's only eight o'clock.
10-Eleven hours sleep will cure everything.
Okay. So here are some things I learned. I hope they help y'all.
1- Don't drink loads of pink drinks on friday night. Sure they taste yummy, and sure they're so sweet you can't taste the alcohol, but it is there!
2- Go home. Do not go to that club with the comfy chairs and loud music and late bar. You're drunk already, you said, 'matrizi' when you meant 'martini', go home!
3- Next morning, take painkillers as soon as you get up, nobody likes a martyr.
4- If you own a cat or more, do not,-under any circumstances- attempt to clean out litter trays unless you have rubbed vicks under nostrils. Gagging when hungover will result in vomiting.
5- Do not accept friends' invitations for late lunch and Mimosas. Hair of the dog is a myth.
6-Do go home after lunch, ignore pleas of come on, let's go shopping. Shopping after Mimosa results in buying stuff that you will have to return at some point.
7- Do not go dancing again, you are drunk-ah forget it, here comes the pink drink.
8-Sunday- when having brunch do not think it would be really great to go for a really romantic stroll. You are really wearing six inch heels.
9- Get a taxi home-nobody likes a martyr. Don't go out for a nightcap!!! It's only eight o'clock.
10-Eleven hours sleep will cure everything.
posted by fatmammycat at 10:09 a.m.
55 Comments:
I have never met your paramour but I hate his guts. Jammy sod.
What a Gal!
No you don't, you'd like him if you met, he's not in the least bit cuntish.
And its not over yet.
Six inch heels? I take my hat off to you. And my shoes.
Yes Mizz Thorpe, six, and by golly I'm paying for it. My calves are aching today and I'm walking around on tippy-toe. I'm think I'm going to the gym in a while for a swim, see if that helps.
Barney, I don't think I, or my liver, can make it through another round of 'hey, where we going next?'. So I might just yank out the old phone line.
You're right I don't hate anyone's guts. But six inch heels, pink drinks, carousing? I can't help being jealous.
Those pink drinks are mostly rum and as I have psoted before, rum is not my friend.
What did you do over the Easter weekend Doclington? You're of celt blood, surely some carousing happened????
Ah but you had fun! And you could always apply those lessons for next time! (yeah right)
Oh Angie, I say this shit so often now it is turning into a mantra.
This is only in the realms of possibility because you don't have to worry about kids leaping on you on Sunday morning wondering where their easter eggs are
Kim, there is nothing I'd like more than kids leaping on top of me and asking me where Easter eggs are. I plan in the next year or two to make that plan a reality. But until then you may enjoy my life vicariously just as I yours.
I think it's disgusting to commemorate the death of Our Lord by drinking pink things and wearing 6 inch heels. I myself, did it the proper way with chocolate eggs and rabbits. Everybody knows Jesus loved eggs and had not time for people drinking pink things. You're clearly going to hell, fmc. My high moral tone has nothing to do with the fact that they ran out of champagne at the Easter brunch we went to. I have to wait for my pink drinks 'til next weekend when I'll be in Yorkshire for a wedding! Hurrah! - no husband or children to look after - just me, some old friends and a happy day with drinks pink. I really fancy pink drinks now after reading your post. I blame you for anything humiliating I might do, fmc!
You may lay it on me Mrs Sam, I gots the shoulders for it so I does!!!
And the drink you're looking for is 'Planters Punch' and yes, it bloody does.
I spent Easter Sunday in a bar, watching sports, drinking shitty beer and gambling. Didn't win a fecking thing, though. That was Jesus' doing, I'm sure.
Can't see a single thing wrong with what you just described, 'cept maybe the money part.
I spent Easter in Belgium, caning beer. Jesus died for this.
See coment above, add Brussels.
In my circle of non-virtual friends we tend to drink for three days straight every weekend. That also help with the painkillers we consume and all the pot we smoke.
Yer absholootley kerrekt! Naebuddy likesh a bruddy Martyr!
I had my first Pimms of the year, followed by the second, and the third - like being hit on the head by a donkeys hoof.
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