Monday, April 10, 2006

A Pox!

or plague, I'm not sure which, but I am feeling rather rotten. After spending yesterday watching football and yelling I now have a sore throat, ear ache and am slightly sniffly. A cold? Maybe, like Samson, the four inches!! that woman chopped off my hair on Friday has rendered me weak and open to illness.
Actually I don't mind feeling a litte ill. I intend to spend the day not working and perhaps watching old movies. Like 'As Good As It Gets.' That's a few years old.

Oh, because I have discovered a whole other world recently of Hollyweird, I feel it is my duty to share this new found culture. So every day I shall be offering up a piece of Hollyweird tat for your enjoyment.

Hollyweird tat- Congrats to Gwyneth Palthrow, Chris Coldplay and cute Apple unfortunately named baby, who have welcomed a little boy into their family this weekend. I think she was going to call him Mortimor.


Blogger Twenty Major said...

Paltrow and Johnny Coldplay can go fuck themselves, the fucking cunts.

9:55 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Good morning Twenty, recovered I see, back to your usual sparkling self.

10:22 a.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...

I am effervescent, thank you, FMC.

12:43 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

I am also sniffly and have a sore throat from spending yesterday recovering from my unfortunate brush with running, drinking beer and cider and watching baseball. That quarter mile dredged up something in my lungs that...let's say HP Lovecraft could have used it for inspiration.

Anyone who even considers naming their child a piece of fruit should be sterilized.

1:44 p.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...

- Sterlized

+ Shot in the face with a cannon

2:11 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

Agreed. Out of the gene pool, any rate.

2:12 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

How do we feel about people who name their kids after numbers or job titles? say Seven and Pilot Inspector?

2:49 p.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...

They should be killed. Isn't it obvious?

4:19 p.m.  
Blogger Gorilla Bananas said...

I can't think of anything more appropriate than naming people after what they eat. For most humans that would be "Burger" or "Smarty" rather than "Apple".

6:16 p.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...

They called the little cunt 'Moses'.

Fuck's sake - what a pair of cretinous cunts.

6:23 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Twenty, they named their first child Apple, I think they showed marvelous restraint with Moses.

6:34 p.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...

I was going to make a joke about 'Cabbage' but then thought better of it.

7:13 p.m.  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Everyone wants to stand out so much these days. Moses? What's wrong with a nice Murdo or Michael or Mark? These names have their own characteristics associated with them that are usually things like, 'stability', or 'good with a spade' or 'has nice hair' but hardly ever 'led God's chosen people out of bondage in Egypt'. My granny is very wise and she claims she's never met a Mark that didn't have nice hair.

7:55 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Strange that, I've never met a 'Tanya' I liked, ever.

8:14 p.m.  
Blogger Dr Joseph McCrumble said...

Apparently, my parents wanted to christen me 'Rhubarb McCrumble' It was only the timly intervention of my maternal grandmother that saved the day. If I had been born a girl they would have used 'Ruby' instead. The twins have various nicknames around the theme of crumble puddings. Rather disturbingly, one of them is persistently referred to as 'Fruit'

10:59 p.m.  
Blogger Binty McShae said...

Have I already told you of the couple who named their sprog Depressed Cupboard Cheesecake? Now THAT is truly fucked up....

Now, FMC... when you mentioned people who name their kids after numbers it did get me wondering about Twenty...?

12:37 a.m.  
Blogger LindyK said...

Yeah, but you're not looking at the upside, people: they can call him their little prophet... just the thought of it makes me want to vomit...

1:15 a.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

My first child will be named "you-better-get-the-fuck-out-there-and-get-a-job-sunny-jim-those-toys-diapers-and-mommy's-pills-and-therapy-weren't-free."

4:11 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

uuummmm rhubarb crumble, with custard,,,mmmmmm.

9:40 a.m.  
Blogger SheBah said...

Apple is sweet (!) - lots a nice lovetalk - my little golden delicious, apple of my'll be so easy for the teenage boyfriends. Much better than some of the silly love names used the Valentine's day newspaper messages!
Nana luvs Diddicums!

10:14 a.m.  

Post a Comment

<< Home