Thursday, June 29, 2006

Back Pain! What the hell?

I need some advice, nursy type advice.
I think I have pulled a muscle in my back, but I'm not sure how.
I went to the gym yesterday, ran 5k, did free weights for my arms and lats. Came home, decided to clean out that stupid wardrobe of horror in the hall-which I've been threatening to do since last year, I mean do I really want fish scale pants circa 1994 or a bag of moudly old dish cloths? Or eighteen yards of paisley fabric-dont ask. Brought the unwanted crap to the bin. Put on a wash, cleaned out the old cat's ears, watched Dog the Bounty Hunter and went to bed. So far so dandy.
So how come when I got up this morning I feel like someone kicked me in the kidneys. It hurts if I turn, it hurts if I lean, it hurts sitting here in my chair...right hand side, in the dip, you know, below the ribs just above the waist line-I know, so technical.
Anyone have any experience of back pain? I've never really had one before, what might have caused this? Etheline says not to take pain killers as they might mask the pain and I might do more harm. But that doesn't make sense and I suspect Etheline is a masochist. I have Spanish painkillers in the kitchen that are so strong I could amputate my little finger and grin about it. I want to take two of them and lie down, or at least numb the pain so that I can work for a while. Anyone know what to do? Me love you long time if you do!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good morning Ms.Cat,

Etheline is a sadist (& sounds like a brand-name for industrial alcohol.)

Take the pills with some Finnish vodka. If that should fail, amputation from the neck down to the delicious ankles...

11:17 a.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

Sounds like you just twisted or turned in an 'unusual' way while you were cleaning out that closet.

I would take a very mild painkiller, like a motrin or an ibuprofin, and just relax for a while, maybe put some heat on it. Then get that delicious man of yours to rub the pain away.

If it doesn't feel better by tomorrow, repeat process, only using those Spanish painkillers, and cartoons.

2:48 p.m.  
Blogger finn said...

what andraste said.

hope you feel better FMC.

3:49 p.m.  
Anonymous Chris said...

I hate to tell you this, But having been the recipient of more than a couple..... You have a kidney stone. DO NOT FOOL AROUND WITH THIS. GET TO A DOCTOR. They can give you medication for the pain until it passes. If its too large to pass, they may have to go get it.

5:42 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

My God, thank you darlings for all the advice. I'm just back from the Doc, what a fucking scam being a Doc is. Fort-five Euros for him to tell me I've probably pinched a nerve! I knew that before I went, and the painkillers he prescribed are half the strength of the ones I already have, then he gave me an injection IN MY ARSE as a muscle relaxant.
I said, 'I thought it was a nerve?'
And he said, 'Well it could be, but best be sure.'
'So you don't know?'
'No, can you just lie over on you side.'
'Sure but- YEEOOOOOOO!'
'Um, I know they kind of smart.'
Oh I am going to gobble some of my Spanish tablets now with a glass of Chablis-or two. We'll see about smart in a while.

5:58 p.m.  
Blogger Sir Squishy said...

Off topic.....I gotta know....what is 'Planters Punch'?


1:55 a.m.  
Blogger Monstee said...

You be careful with mixing them painkillers and alcohol FMC. Me was at party one time with this girl that not really like me all that much but didn't want to go to party alone. She was on pain killers too and me didn't this she should drink all that much, but like me said, she no like me all that much so she was like all "Don't tell me what to do Monstee!" She had couple glasses of wine there and... well... to make long story short, me totally got some that night.

So, anyway... just be careful!

7:39 a.m.  
Blogger Dr Maroon said...

Stand up straight.
Get your non-doctor paramour to slowly (and gently) press his thumbs into the fillets that run down your back each side of your spine.
He should do this in a series, as if marking your back with thumbprints.
Nothing should happen until he reaches the bits in line with your hip bones (pelvis) when a sharp pain will be experienced when he presses.
If this is the case, you have lumbago (lumbar muscle-itis).
Nothing to worry about.
Apply deap heat, and take an anti-inflamitory.
You may have some discomfort and trouble sleeping for a few nights.
Call me in a week.

your statutory rights are not infected

7:56 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Thank you all, I"m afraid I took matter into my own hands.
Sir Squishy welcome, Planter's Punch is a particularly strong cocktail made with lots of rum. You think it's okay to drink a few of them, and then BAM! the, kicks in. Delightful stuff.

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