Chewing gum...

I'm against it!
Chewing gum, is there anything more vile? I'd rather have dog shit on my shoes than chewing gum, at least shit washes off.
I hate chewing gum, I wish to god it was banned. I hate the smell of it, the look of it, the way people stick it under seats and tables, letting it grow hard and tooth marked. I hate the way people spit it out-Dublin is COVERED in greasy black spots of it, I hate the way every time Britney Spears opens her mouth there's a giant wad of it on her back teeth, I hate it when people pull it into string and wrap in around ther fingers, DISGUSTING!
I hate it when some TOTAL BASTARD leaves it on a bench thus ruining the velvet coat of moi, I hate the fact that mr cat hating fatneck on the third floor chews it in the lift every day. I hate it when on a wet day I'm forced to use on a bus and while I sit there steaming gently, the girl opposite -who really look like she wasn't raised with fucking bears-sits chewing and smacking and looking vacant and vapid and-smack smack smack- like a cow chewing the cud. I want to rush across and grab her by both ears screaming 'MOO MOO!"
Bovine, stupid, empty headed, common, disgusting.
I hate the way it used to be a bad thing to chew gum and now it's not a bad thing, I liked it when people thought it was made from ant eggs and spider pieces, for all I know it could be, I like that people thought it 'stuck to the lining' of your stomach.
I hate the fact that dentists have bought into the shit and are now recommending it for your teeth, I hate that this gives bovine fatheads more excuses for going chomp chomp chomp smack.
I super really very hate it if someone next to me blows bubbles with his chonger. I will very probably give whoever that person is a bit of a dig.
Chewing gum, I am so fucking against it I can scarcely type.