Thursday, December 14, 2006

Chewing gum...


I'm against it!
Chewing gum, is there anything more vile? I'd rather have dog shit on my shoes than chewing gum, at least shit washes off.
I hate chewing gum, I wish to god it was banned. I hate the smell of it, the look of it, the way people stick it under seats and tables, letting it grow hard and tooth marked. I hate the way people spit it out-Dublin is COVERED in greasy black spots of it, I hate the way every time Britney Spears opens her mouth there's a giant wad of it on her back teeth, I hate it when people pull it into string and wrap in around ther fingers, DISGUSTING!
I hate it when some TOTAL BASTARD leaves it on a bench thus ruining the velvet coat of moi, I hate the fact that mr cat hating fatneck on the third floor chews it in the lift every day. I hate it when on a wet day I'm forced to use on a bus and while I sit there steaming gently, the girl opposite -who really look like she wasn't raised with fucking bears-sits chewing and smacking and looking vacant and vapid and-smack smack smack- like a cow chewing the cud. I want to rush across and grab her by both ears screaming 'MOO MOO!"
Bovine, stupid, empty headed, common, disgusting.
I hate the way it used to be a bad thing to chew gum and now it's not a bad thing, I liked it when people thought it was made from ant eggs and spider pieces, for all I know it could be, I like that people thought it 'stuck to the lining' of your stomach.
I hate the fact that dentists have bought into the shit and are now recommending it for your teeth, I hate that this gives bovine fatheads more excuses for going chomp chomp chomp smack.
I super really very hate it if someone next to me blows bubbles with his chonger. I will very probably give whoever that person is a bit of a dig.
Chewing gum, I am so fucking against it I can scarcely type.

49 Comments:

Blogger P1P said...

Nice. I prefer a mint anyway. I am sure almost everyone has a story about chewing gum needing tobe cut out of their hair!

9:45 a.m.  
Anonymous eva said...

Couldn't agree with you more FMC!

10:13 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jayz missus, did you get out the wrong side of the downy scratcher this morning? Take yourself off to Kilcock in Co Kildare for some reverse-aversion therapy... stand outside the gum factory there and inhale the hubba-bubba flavours gracing the local country air... that is if they haven't fucked off to China to make the stuff.

10:29 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chungum has its uses! What about those times, late on a Saturday night, when one is compelled to grind one's teeth? Because I am more against the sound of teeth grinding. UGGGGGHHHHHH. I'm wincing as I type.

10:34 a.m.  
Anonymous caro said...

Know what you mean. The girl who sits across from me at work only stops chomping gum to munch on actual food (generally of the crunchy variety). She's the only person I've ever met who can talk and chew at the same time without missing a beat. I've started chewing like a badly brought up cow too so the sound of my own saliva slightly drowns out hers... forget smoking in the workplace, this is a torture too far!

10:37 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Just swing your bloody jaw from side to side or gurn wildly like everybody else. It's not like your going to avoid smooshing your molars or chewing the inside off your cheeks anyway, despite the eight pounds of stinking Wrigleys.
Down with chewing gum, It's time to get tough on chewing, it's time to get tough on the causes of chewing gum, i.e chewers.
When I am Queen you chewers will be first to the wall, let me tell you. Swiftly followed by people who wear thongs eight inches above their low riders.

10:41 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Slap her caro, slap her hard, and when she cries tell her it's for her own good. Keep doing it until she gets the message.

10:43 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Silly ladee. Gurning = teeth grinding. It's the clenching jaw that does it.

And Christ almighty, that's some wedgie you described there.

11:15 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmm, I see where you're going, FMC. A good wad of gum could be stretched out to make that thong... mmm, cherry flavoured!

11:36 a.m.  
Anonymous Cate said...

Fuckin gum stuck to the arse of your skirt.....enraging. Today is my last day in my current job. Am I emotional I was asked? Does Hungry count as an emotion other than that....no..not emotional at all.

11:45 a.m.  
Anonymous caro said...

I tried that but she started muttering darkly about harassment in the workplace - why oh why can no-one see I'm the harassee, not the harasser?

She has a sort of a hole in front of her ear because her jaw muscles are so over-developed, do you think sticking a well-sharpened pencil through it as I have fantasised through the course of many long, saliva-punctuated meetings counts as assault?

11:48 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is possible to gurn without grinding ones teeth.

11:52 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Cate I hear ya. When my coat was covered in the stuff I go all this 'sage' advice about how to rid myself of it. Freezing, ironing with brown paper, ironing with grease proof paper, bollocks to the lot of it. NOthing made the slighest bit of difference.
Destroyed it was. And I LIKED that coat.
Fuck chewing gum. Fuck the chewers of chewing gum too.
When does the new job start?

11:53 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

That is it Twenty, think of that little midget. He's champion at it, the Heinekin label seeing bastid.

11:54 a.m.  
Anonymous Caro said...

When I was a kid someone put a big wad of chewing gum into my hair, right close to the scalp. The chemist told my mother to use white spirits, and if that didn't work to use petrol to dissolve it. She used the petrol and I cried and whimpered for the (what seemed like) three hours it took her to get it out, cos it wasn't that long after Michael Jackson's hair went on fire on stage and I was terrified I was going to turn into a human fireball...

I'd almost forgotten about that particular childhood trauma...

1:02 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I hope you repaid the person who did this to you. Perhaps by kiling their first cousin or something. That might make it even Steven. If I ever come across the person whose gum destroyed my coat-unlikely but I live in hope- I'm going to drug them, and super glue all their fingers and toes together.

1:08 p.m.  
Anonymous Caro said...

Sweet. Superglue sounds like poetic justice, I'd go with that one too...

2:01 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is it Twenty, think of that little midget. He's champion at it, the Heinekin label seeing bastid.

His cartoon Jeremy Irons impression is always the sign it's time to go home...

4:46 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is it Twenty, think of that little midget. He's champion at it, the Heinekin label seeing bastid.

His cartoon Jeremy Irons impression is always the sign it's time to go home...

4:50 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You could always DNA test it?????

7:16 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I could Mairéad, but I'd need some sort of lab first.
Why won't blogger let me change? I can't post on half the sites I normally blather away on. I"m Johnny-no-talk all of a sudden.
Anyway Avast! I'm heading out for a pint in my local, a place so boring time itself wont go in there.
Ciao.

8:13 p.m.  
Anonymous Devin said...

Some red-necked,gun-totin',banjo-pluckin',sister-fuckin' West Virginian fuckstick bollocks gobbed a huge wad of the shite onto the back seat of my then brand new car a few months back.
Hanging,drawing and quartering is too lenient for those bastiges.
I guess I should be grateful it wasn't chewing tobacco.

7:59 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I would have very cheerfully murdered him. You restraint is admirable

10:05 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I bet all the girls who wear thongs eight inches above their low riders all chew gum anyhow so it would be like killing two birds with one stone........I also hate when people smile while they are chewing gum and you can see it in their mouth.....blech. Everything about chewing gum is disgusting.

11:26 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree!!! didn't realise that such a civilised city as Dublin would have these mindless zombies as well as merry England in Singapore its against the law. Should be banned everywhere.

11:04 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OH MY GOSH. It is so nice to hear that people hate this more then me. I have at times taken gum out of some ones mouth. Or I leave and get far away from them. I can't stand gum chewers I am a massage thrapist and I was told it is like 500 pounds of pressure on your jaw. Have fun with TMJ and that. I hate gumm chewers they are lucky I am not crazy because if I was I would probably be like the guy in the clock tower.

8:01 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

your a crazy bitch!!
if i ever see you im going to sit there and chomp my gum right in your face and say moooo!! i chew 10 pieces a day haha your gay its just gum so settle down

2:11 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Your gay? Your gay what?

12:48 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

omg!! yes i totlally agree!
im in school so we have asigned seats and there is this one girl who smacks her gum in my eaar throughout the day!!! She sits right behind me in almost all of my classes because her last name is almoust the same as mine!! its like so annoying i can barely even concentrate on what were learnING!!1
I wish she would just close her dam mouth already!!!11 and its even more annoying because shes like perfect. she is 5'6, extremely skinny and tan, perfect teeth, and really long blond perfect hair. I come like reallly close to asking her to stop but then am to shy!! HELP ME PLEASE!!!

9:43 p.m.  
Blogger ch3rrylov3 said...

Surprisingly the lips smacking part doesn't bug me, its this high pitch noise of the gum pushing the air off of the back teeth while chewing is what bugs me, at least I'm pretty sure that is how it is made. Anyone know what I'm talking about?

7:34 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent pieces. Keep posting such kind of information on your site.
Im really impressed by it.
Hi there, You have done an excellent job. I'll definitely digg it and in my opinion suggest to my friends. I am sure they'll be benefited from this website.


Here is my web-site perfect waist to hip ratio

2:47 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My brother recommended I may like this web site.
He was once entirely right. This publish actually made my day.

You can not believe simply how so much time I had spent for this info!

Thanks!

Also visit my web-site: Louis Vuitton Bags

7:26 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey there! This is kind of off topic but I need some
help from an established blog. Is it very difficult to set up your own blog?
I'm not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty quick. I'm thinking about setting up my
own but I'm not sure where to start. Do you have any tips or suggestions? Many thanks

Have a look at my site ... Authentic Evgeni Malkin Jersey

1:01 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I initially commented I clicked the "Notify me when new comments are added" checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get four e-mails
with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove me from
that service? Many thanks!

My blog post - Abercrombie Fitch Belgique

2:46 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I every time used to read post in news papers but now as I am a user
of web so from now I am using net for content, thanks
to web.

Here is my homepage Louis Vuitton Outlet

12:38 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi! Do you use Twitter? I'd like to follow you if that would be okay. I'm undoubtedly enjoying your blog and
look forward to new updates.

Also visit my blog post; http://wealthwayonline.com

7:00 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think that is one of the so much significant info for me.
And i am glad studying your article. However wanna statement on
some normal things, The web site style is perfect, the articles is
in point of fact excellent : D. Excellent activity, cheers

Here is my blog bonuses

5:06 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You really make it seem so easy with your presentation
but I find this topic to be actually something that I think I would never understand.
It seems too complicated and extremely broad
for me. I am looking forward for your next post, I'll try to get the hang of it!

Visit my website Abercrombie Et Fitch

10:29 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Today, I went to the beach with my kids. I found a sea shell
and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said "You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear." She
placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear.
She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is totally off topic but I had to tell someone!


My web blog: Michael Kors Outlet :: http://www.explorethecapabilities.com :
:

4:44 a.m.  
Blogger oakleyses said...

longchamp outlet online, burberry outlet online, michael kors outlet online, christian louboutin shoes, longchamp handbags, ray ban outlet, michael kors outlet online, louis vuitton outlet, oakley vault, chanel handbags, nike air max, louboutin shoes, kate spade handbags, prada handbags, louis vuitton handbags, coach outlet store online, kate spade outlet online, christian louboutin outlet, longchamp outlet, nike free, gucci handbags, louis vuitton outlet online, polo ralph lauren, louis vuitton outlet, oakley sunglasses, tiffany and co jewelry, michael kors outlet online, cheap oakley sunglasses, michael kors outlet, tiffany jewelry, burberry outlet online, ray ban sunglasses, coach outlet, louis vuitton, michael kors outlet online, prada outlet, coach purses, jordan shoes, nike shoes, tory burch outlet, nike air max, red bottom shoes, polo ralph lauren outlet, michael kors outlet store, coach outlet

12:54 a.m.  
Blogger oakleyses said...

oakley pas cher, hollister, timberland, air max, nike roshe, true religion outlet, air max pas cher, sac vanessa bruno, ralph lauren pas cher, abercrombie and fitch, new balance pas cher, north face pas cher, chaussure louboutin, hollister, longchamp pas cher, hermes pas cher, nike roshe run, lululemon, barbour, nike air force, vans pas cher, air jordan, nike blazer pas cher, michael kors canada, nike air max, louis vuitton pas cher, ray ban pas cher, guess pas cher, nike free pas cher, louis vuitton uk, nike trainers, nike free, scarpe hogan, nike air max, true religion, longchamp, ray ban uk, north face, ralph lauren, sac louis vuitton, tn pas cher, converse pas cher, burberry pas cher, nike huarache, true religion outlet, louis vuitton, mulberry, sac michael kors, lacoste pas cher, michael kors uk

12:55 a.m.  
Blogger oakleyses said...

insanity workout, mac cosmetics, vans outlet, ghd, moncler, moncler, wedding dresses, moncler outlet, abercrombie and fitch, jimmy choo shoes, north face outlet, instyler ionic styler, north face jackets, roshe run, canada goose pas cher, new balance outlet, uggs outlet, rolex watches, asics shoes, ugg outlet, soccer shoes, canada goose uk, herve leger, birkin bag, longchamp, canada goose, reebok shoes, canada goose outlet, valentino shoes, canada goose outlet, ferragamo shoes, nfl jerseys, uggs on sale, p90x workout, soccer jerseys, hollister, lululemon outlet, mcm handbags, ugg soldes, celine handbags, ugg boots, mont blanc pens, canada goose outlet, chi flat iron, bottega veneta, marc jacobs outlet, ugg, beats headphones, giuseppe zanotti, babyliss pro

12:56 a.m.  
Blogger Shijun Lin said...

shijun 4.3 10
michael kors outlet online
ray ban canada
coach factory outlet online
michael kors handbags
michael kors outlet
michael kors outlet
coach outlet store
coach outlet stores online
louis vuitton
hollister outlet
michael kors handbags
concord 11
louis vuitton outlet
louis vuitton
chanel bags
ray-ban sunglasses
red bottom shoes
cheap oakleys
coach factory outlet
pandora rings
coach factory outlet
jordan shoes
michael kors canada
louis vuitton
louis vuitton outlet
michael kors handbags
oakley sunglasses
ray ban glasses
jordan 13 retro
discount oakley sunglasses
coach outlet store online
tory burch outlet
christian louboutin sale
cheap oakleys
michael kors outlet online
dior outlet
timberland uk
ray ban eyeglasses
louis vuitton handbags
louis vuitton

7:28 a.m.  
Blogger شركة الراقى said...

شركة تنظيف خزانات شمال الرياض
شركة تنظيف خزانات شرق الرياض
شركة الصفرات للتنظيف بالرياض
شركة رش مبيدات شمال الرياض
كشف تسربات المياه شمال الرياض
شركة الصفرات لمكافحة الحشرات بالرياض
رش مبيدات قبل صبة النظافة
شركة نقل اثاث غرب الرياض
شركة نقل اثاث شرق الرياض
شركة كشف تسربات المياه الصفرات
شركة نقل اثاث بالرياض الصفرات
شركة رش دفان بالرياض
شركة مكافحة البعوض بالرياض
شركة تنظيف بالرياض رخيصة

1:18 a.m.  
Blogger شركة الراقى said...

شركة تنظيف خزانات شمال الرياض
شركة تنظيف خزانات شرق الرياض
شركة الصفرات للتنظيف بالرياض
شركة رش مبيدات شمال الرياض
كشف تسربات المياه شمال الرياض
شركة الصفرات لمكافحة الحشرات بالرياض
رش مبيدات قبل صبة النظافة
شركة نقل اثاث غرب الرياض
شركة نقل اثاث شرق الرياض
شركة كشف تسربات المياه الصفرات
شركة نقل اثاث بالرياض الصفرات
شركة رش دفان بالرياض
شركة مكافحة البعوض بالرياض
شركة تنظيف بالرياض رخيصة

1:19 a.m.  
Blogger Dongdong Weng said...

20156.11dongdong
fitflops
louis vuitton
michael kors handbags
ray bans
hermes birkin bag
coach outlet
ray bans
coach factory outlet
true religion outlet
toms outlet
burberry outlet online
nike air max
louis vuitton handbags
michael kors outlet
oakley sunglasses wholesale
ray bans
oakley sunglasses
nike air max
michael kors purse
jordan shoes
louis vuitton outlet
louis vuitton handbags
coach factory outlet
cheap jerseys
abercrombie
cheap lululemon
air max 90
louis vuitton outlet
oakley sunglasses outlet
ray ban sunglasses

4:55 a.m.  
Blogger Taibai Li said...

qihang0616michael kors outlet online
burberry scarf
tory burch handbags
prada outlet
gucci outlet online
burberry handbags
cheap jerseys
burberry sale
tory burch outlet
ralph lauren
nike air max
oakley sunglasses
ralph lauren uk
rolex watches
michael kors handbag
pandora jewelry
ray ban sunglass
coach factory outlet
michael kors
michael kors bag
jordan shoes
toms shoes
fitflops sale clearance
pandora outlet
coach factory outlet
michael kors outlet
tory burch outlet online
ray ban sunglasses
ray ban sunglasses
cheap jordans
toms outlet
ray ban sunglasses
oakley sunglasses
abercrombie
gucci outlet
q

9:43 a.m.  
Blogger 风骚达哥 said...

20151008 junda
Discount Ray Ban Polarized Sunglasses
Louis Vuitton Bags On Sale
oakley sunglasses,oakley vault,prescription sunglasses,polarized sunglasses,aviator sunglasses,spy sunglasses,oakleys,oakley canada,cheap oakley sunglasses,oakley frogskins,oakley holbrook,cheap sunglasses,wayfarer sunglasses,oakley standard issue,fake oakleys,oakley glasses,oakley.com,oakley prescription glasses,oakley goggles,sunglasses for men,oakley gascan,oakley store,oakleys sunglasses
Michael Kors Outlet Handbags Factory Price
nike trainers
louis vuitton outlet
Louis Vuitton Outlet USA
Real Louis Vuitton Bags
Louis Vuitton Handbags Discount Off
Oakley Vault Outlet Store Online
canada goose outlet
michael kors handbags
tory burch outlet
coach factory outlet
Michael Kors Outlet Sale Clearance
michael kors handbags
Abercrombie And Fitch Kids Online
Louis Vuitton Handbags Factory Store
louis vuitton handbags
ugg boots
Lebron James Basketball Shoes Sale
New Louis Vuitton Handbags Outlet
ugg boots clearance
canada goose outlet
timberland boots for women
Michael Kors Outlet Free Shipping
hermes birkin bag
nfl jerseys
ralph lauren uk
Gucci Outlet Online Sale

12:50 p.m.  
Blogger dada24 Xu said...

ray ban sunglasses discount
louis vuitton outlet online
jerseys cheap
cheap ugg boots
louis vuitton outlet online
timberland boots outlet
gucci bags
polo ralph lauren outlet
cheap jordan shoes
coach outlet online
zhi20170112

2:50 a.m.  

Post a Comment

<< Home