Friday, February 15, 2008

Happy Gingerday!!

Observe Chumlies, a retro-ginger, but one so fearsome and so ironcladedly frightening that even the gods dare not speak his name. But I shall endeavor to bring forth, the power, that is, the Hucknall for your gingerday pleasures. Well mostly 'cause Andraste reminded me.
Old Mick here was/is a crooner with Simply Red (was there ever a more apt and godlike name?)
He was born down on Capitol Hill, wearing a cap and fully upright, sometime in the early eighties and sprouted ringlet after ringlet of ginger and yet still became a much loved and horny-toed pop super star!
Do you see chumlies? Do you see?
Such was his awesome magical power, that despite being begingered and befreckled, and on occasion adding to his hawtness by garnishing some of his teeth with jewels, Old Micky still managed to dance the dance of the belly fart with all manner of lovely ladies while convincing the world at large that he was a terrific singer and rather hot stuff indeed.
Is that not a sign? Do you see? Do you see?

Initially Mick thought money was too tight to mention, then he held back the years through the sheer force of his gingerosity- no mean feat I think we can agree. I got a bit scared when he sang that he loved the thought of coming home to me, even though he knew we wouldn't make it, which frankly sounds like a bit of threat to any sane person, but then I figured I'd moved house so often he'd never find me and if he wanted to kill my old flatmate he was welcome to her.
After dancing dreadlocked and Joseph and the technicoloured raincoat like around the fairground, ruby toothed and gleaming, it soon became apparent that this little hobgoblin of funkified Ginger was in fact some kind of sex crazed troll, and I for one started to wear an amulet to ward off late night attacks of finger clicking. Fortunately I got into E and by the time I realised 'If you don't know me by know' was also something of a threat, I had weaned myself off his ginger finger licking style of worship and had taken to making box shapes with my hands in nightclubs all over the city.
Phew, saved and what a close shave that was.
So in honour of escaping the cult of this finger clicking red setter, I give you....well I give you Mick Hucknall actually, Retro Ginger extra cherry on top. Yeah, you're moist, don't even bother lying. But you don't know why.
Do you see? Do you see?



Blogger Twenty Major said...

I blame you, Adraste. I blame you right in the fucking face.

6:28 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know, sometimes I think, "Me and that Fatmammycat gal, we could really get along!"
And then sometimes I think, "That Fatmammycat gal has a couple screws loose, but she's all right."
And then sometimes I think, "That Fatmammycat gal...I just don't know, man."

Still, I feel like I should thank you for not putting a lumpy, walnut-colored teeny-weeny monstrosity up today.

6:50 p.m.  
Anonymous nonny said...

I don't know who is worse but one thing is for sure you are all mad, mad i tell ye!

Have a great weekend pet.

7:14 p.m.  
Blogger John Mc said...

So are you telling us FMC, that once upon a time you worshiped at the church of Simply Red?

I can never hear them without thinking of a time, just after my Leaving Cert, I was working on a building site in Limerick - one of the laborers an older guy, used to wander by singing, (in a thick, thick Limerick accent), "Holdin' back moi ears she was"

7:40 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...


When I asked for my weekly ginger hit, I had no IDEA I'd get this festering heap of Hucknall cuntosity.

I'm well satisfied. Oh, but what have I wrought?

Twenty, come and get me darling. I'm ready for my money shot, Mr. Demille....

7:59 p.m.  
Anonymous SeaDreams said...

Um. I do realize that I am something of an intruder here, but I have to ask.
Is there any possibility that you'll consider resuming drinking?

8:51 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh. Simply Red. I remember them...and the huge crush I had on Mick! I've never admitted that before, so don't tell anyone...just between us, right?

8:56 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I weeeel, I weeel consider drinking!
Ask me why Im home from the cinema so early, go on, ask me!
That's right, after food, popcorn and sour snake buying, sitting in the cinema through what seemed like eleventy-three hours of trailers, we noticed the last trailer was 'Dun dun dun dun dnundnundnudnun, Ladies and Gentleman, whn I say I'm an oilman....'
'Say' said the paramour -who previous to this was STILL talking about the time I made him see A history of Violence- 'Why would they show a trailer of a film we're about to see?'
'I don't know' I said.
But it didn't take long to find out, as the pained voice of Tommy Lee Jones remiinded us of why he was sheriff of wahtever town he was sheriff of, and we heard 'the crimes these day, I cain't even take its meaasure' filled our ears, realisation dawned.
Oh that's right, we were in NO Country for Old Men, again.
If this isn't the even of the steven to History of Violence my name is esmeralda puddleduck.
Oh yeah, and There will be blood is not out until February 29th, and I wont be able to see it that night because I'll be drowning myself in a vat of after the dry rum.

Wrong film is one thing, wrong film two weeks out is quite another. Oh yes, History if Violence is dead in the water now.

9:48 p.m.  
Anonymous eva said...

Eh, is there such a thing as being so sober that you're actually drunk?
This post makes me wonder... ;)

12:51 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Now, now, don't resist the ginger, you know there's no real point. resistance is futile! As a ginger borg might say.

10:27 a.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...

Twenty, come and get me darling. I'm ready for my money shot, Mr. Demille....


11:17 a.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Oh nos. How could you. He's even warbled in Italian and you've gone and reminded me of that and now my ears, they bleed. He's bald now. Ha. Bald I say. Take that.

12:46 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

I just popped over to see what you thought of TWBB.
It's worth waiting for but then so is the lovely tasty rum.

4:17 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

He's not bald, he's just resting his follicles. Ginger people are allowed do that.

5:44 p.m.  
Blogger Mayrasmom said...

perhaps you might have use for this link???

8:44 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

He likes being a naked ginger person that chap, he really does. Many thanks for adding a singular note of pleasure to my monday morning.

10:45 a.m.  
Blogger Mayrasmom said...

Yup, the guy takes his undies off more frequently than Britney.

2:04 p.m.  
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