Friday, April 04, 2008

Happy Ginger day Chumlies!





This Chumlies is a Rhydian Roberts. And Rhydian here is what we in the trade like to call a Closet Ginger.
Despite being a man of excellent pipes and quite a fine physique, Rhydian here is in denial. This man, of talent and showmanship and sparkly sparkly suits, has hidden his greatest gift in a bid to reach the top, he has denied himself that what separates him truly from the crowd, his utter and complete Gingerism.
Now I understand the deep shame being a ginger can evoke in a person. Years of whispers and being shunned from local communities can make ANY ginger have doubts. It's hard being a ginger in a brunette/blonde world. People can be so hurtful. You can brazen it out. You can say to them, 'look cuntbutler, it's perfectly natural, all right? Go tend to your own insecurities.'
And they'll be all, 'Oh not, there's nothing wrong with being a ginger, some of our best friends are gingers.'
Wow, how liberal of them. But you know they'll never let their children marry a ginger and you KNOW the first ginger born into their families will be viewed with deep suspicion while hereditary lines are checked and rechecked.
Even close friends can shock you with anti-gingerism when you least expect it. You might be sitting in a cafe some day, drinking Mocha and a ginger -glowing beautifully in the harsh Irish light-might pass by. You see your friends do that slack jawed gawk that makes you want to wop them one upside the head. What? You will demand. Stop, they will say, it might be natural to you, but we don't want it shoved down our ginger-fearing throats.
This is why so many gingers hide their true gingerosity. Robust reds and dazzling crimsons everywhere scamper off to the dressers of hair and lighten or darken in an vain attempt to hide away and quash their ginger.
But ginger cannot be quashed! If you dye it it will grow back, you can disguise it, but what of the brows? What of the skin tone? What of the pubis and underarm hair? Are you willing to expunge your very ginger soul?? To what end? To appease others? To 'fit in'?
Bah! I say NO. Enough is enough. It pains me to see the Beluga like paleness of Rhydiam here, matched only by his white fake hair. There should have been a flaming contrast. Look at what Nicole did to her self. I can't tell where her forehead end and her grey/blonde dye job begins. And Lohan, well you saw what happened to her the moment she forced the ginger down. Drugs, drink, a downwards spiral, and all because she is denying who she is.
You cannot be happy if you reject your inner ginger. You'll find yourself crying in the bathroom, as roots begin to claw their way back. The subterfuge will wear you down. Why fight nature? Why fight the way you were intended to be?
Don't be a closet ginger! Embrace who you are. Run with it, big it up! There will always be begrudgers and bitchy-warts, but to hell with them. For no matter what you do, no matter where you hide, never forget... you are a GINGER.

* Gets up, pumps air with fist!


(Today's rousing is also for marathon runners/10k runners/ speedy carb-loading actual athletes everywhere. This weekend will test us in some way, but I know we shall give it our all. Good luck everyone)

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31 Comments:

Anonymous sheepworrier said...

Happy gingerday FMC!

A bit of runnerly advice if you please. I'm meant to be doing a 10k race on sunday up here, but I've just got over the flu and have a bit of a nasty cough still. Do I run and hope for the best or pull out and make sure I'm in top shape for the marathon in May?

Yours sheepishly,

Sheepworrier.

12:39 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Depends Sheepie, are you at the tail end of your flu and how strong do you feel? Some folk reckon you shouldn't run at all if you're under the weather, but I find with colds if you're over the worst of it a run out does no harm, even though you might not run your best run.
That said with the marathon so close you might not wish to harm your recovery.
My honest opinion? 10k's not that long so unless you're feeling particularly wreaked the run out won't be bad.
I'm running a 10k on Sunday too, have you a time in mind?

12:59 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

"A ginger! A ginger!" the children may shout, pointing and giggling. But we hold our heads up high!

No more self-loathing gingers, I say. Breed! Make more!

If only so that FMC never runs out of them and gingerday lives FOREVER!!!

1:09 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Thanks Darling, I wonder why he didn't think to dye the ginger fuzz on his manly chest platinum? Seems rather at odds wouldn't you say?
He has a fine set of shoulders on him and boy can he sing.

1:16 p.m.  
Anonymous eva said...

Happy Ginger Day, FMC!
I'd be very interested in seeing this dude au naturel. I always thought he looked a bit freaky. He might actually look less so ginger.
And wow what a week on your blog :) I've been reading it but not had the time or energy to comment. Highly entertaining with all the drama ;)
Anyway, I hope you have a great weekend and good luck with your run on Sunday!

1:39 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Thanks darling, I think he's look better as a ginger too, (naturally). Off to the gym now to squeeze in one last session.

1:41 p.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

Its my 1st race since coming second in the egg & spoon 17 years ago. Only started running 5 months ago. Oh the fear...
Basically I've been told to aim for under an hour, which shouldn't be a problem at all.

I'm feeling grand - its just this frickin cough, plus i haven't had a jaunt out in over a week now, AND there's snow forecast for sunday. SNOW!!
Bugger it, ive been looking forward to it for weeks now, so I may as well.

2:07 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

No. Not convinced. Not at all. Just cos you wish it doesn't make it so.

Surely someone has posted an early pic of the boy au naturel, so to speak.

A little ginge in the chesticle fuzz might just mean he's a bit, you know, auburn?

2:16 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

Look at me. I'm a ginger wannabe, so I have no idea what these self-hating gingers are doing to themselves.
The madness.

Good luck in your race tomorrow, FMC.

2:59 p.m.  
Anonymous Sam, Problemchildbride said...

Golly gum drops! He's quite pectoral isn't he? Who'd have thought you'd need such big ones to be a singer?

Maybe he just had a fright, but not such a big one to turn all his hair white, just his head hair.

Generally, I'm in favour of chest hair on a man, whatever the colour.

Best luck with the run, hun!

3:35 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

He's definitely a ginger, I can tell. I have a gift for these things.
My race is on Sunday but I appreciate the good wishes. Cheers.

5:04 p.m.  
Blogger Lou said...

Thanks for the ginger FMC, it's put my mind at ease for Paris... :-)

Best of luck on Sunday!

6:45 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is "young Inda Kenny"that vibrant young buck from MAY-OH a ginger? His posters in the last electons looked "gingerish", albeit of a pretty insipid hue.

8:08 p.m.  
Blogger aquaasho said...

Hi FMC, Just wanted to say to Sheepworrier; "they" say if the symptons are above the neck you could run but don't if below the neck. I reckon that you probably know best yourself! Good luck to both of you Sunday!!

8:10 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

YOu know there might be a whiff of the ginger to Enda now that I think about it.

Aisling, thanks so much. Going to try stay well ahead of the walking groups this year when starting off.

8:26 p.m.  
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