Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Garnish Horror

I've said this on the blog before but it REALLY REALLY bears repeating. Parsley is absolutely fucking disgusting and I hate it. I hate the minging ack-yacking taste of it, the way everything it touches tastes of it and...well I hate it more than jazz but less than Reiki. I am always very annoyed when it is sprinkled all over my food in a restaurant. I didn't ask for it, I don't want it and it SHOULD be not on my plate. Food should be parsley free by default. That way if people DO want the cruddy crap violating their food they can request it and people who don't can enjoy their food with vomiting, sending it back, or spending a long time scraping every filthy green flake of it off their food.
Parsley, I am VERY much against

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50 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not even a wee sprig on your mushroom soup FMC? Just a wee itty bitty bit of greenery? Just a smidgen? Eh?

11:37 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Completely agree. Had a couple of meals over the last month where parsley was entwined with what I thought I was getting. No warning on the menu.

They wouldn't do it with Marmite, cheeky fuckers.

11:38 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I'd say no, but at least you can lift a sprig out Sheepie, but chopped up parsley is the devil's smegma.

Exactly BBB, no mention of it on the menu. It's so bloody annoying.

11:40 a.m.  
Blogger Jo said...

Ah, grow up and eat it, it's good for you.

11:54 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you can't be eating things you don't like.

Nonny

12:00 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

It's disgusting. Why would anyone eat something they found disgusting? What's grown up about eating something vile and minging? And what's so good about it??

12:02 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Drat, we crossed, but what Nonny said.

12:03 p.m.  
Blogger morgor said...

meh, parsley is ok in my book.

They should really mention that it's garnished with parsley though.

So many restaurants have such superfluous descriptions like
"delicious fresh baked fish delicately cooked in a tender bed of . . . blah blah".

I'll decide if it's delicious or fresh thanks, just tell me the ingredients instead of flattering yourself.

12:03 p.m.  
Blogger Jo said...

Heh heh heh, riled ya.

However, I suspect that you'd be pproven wrong about not eating things you don't like. Apparently if you try something ten times you'll end up liking it, at least more than you did at first.

Guinness is a good example.

There's loads of good about parsley - I can only remember digestive aid though, and it gets rid of the smell of garlic off your breath.

I used to pick it and eat it out of the garden as a kid. Mmmm, parsley. Thus proving it is not inherently disgusting, you just find it so.
HOw do you feel about coriander? I know a lot of people who hate it, think it tastes soapy, but I think it's food of the gods.

12:06 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I don't mind coriander, I rather like coriander and carrot soup, basil too is fine. I just find parsley and cucumber utterly disgusting.

Morgor! That's funny, I ind overly flowery description ridiculous too. I remember once getting 'tender moist delicate' lamb chops than I could have used to repair a puncture.

12:13 p.m.  
Blogger Jo said...

Cucumber eh? Sounds like you're a Supertaster, and you'll experience as bitter what others can find sweet.

12:21 p.m.  
Blogger morgor said...

hehe, whenever I see descriptions like that I just think "assholes."

I don't mind descriptions of how it's cooked or where it's been sourced from, it's just the pointless ones that get to me.

Could nearly do a list with alternatives:

"Fresh" : "tinned"? "out of date"?

"Delicately spiced" : "wit' spices lobbed on by a big clumsy man"?

"Delicious" : "foul tasting"?

12:23 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

hint- smothered in.
Delicate- pungent
Lightly roasted- in a volcano
hand rolled- well a hand pressed the machine button.
crushed potato- to wanky to mash it

12:27 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Supertaster? We can have a title with 'super' in it? YES!

'Nice to meet you, my name is FMC and I am a supertaster. What do you do?'

12:29 p.m.  
Blogger Jo said...

I just think that stuff's funny. Like Elaine having to write blurbs for the Urban Sombrero in Seinfeld.

A good job for a blogger.

12:29 p.m.  
Blogger Jo said...

I just think that stuff's funny. Like Elaine having to write blurbs for the Urban Sombrero in Seinfeld.

A good job for a blogger.

12:29 p.m.  
Blogger Manuel said...

it's sooooooooo 1970's........our chefs had to be weened of using it like heroin addicts. chives became their methadone....

12:53 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Hah Manuel, I noticed that actually, you can't get mash out these days without chives chopped and sprinkled all over them. What is it with chef's and their dire need to besprinkle perfectly lovely food with herbs?

(Off to Tescos to buy spring onions and Guinness for venison hotpot the paramour is making later. Yummy. Posts about food always have me drooling. Even disgusting food like cucumbers and parsley.)

3:00 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cucumber has it's uses FMC - its quite nice in a glass of G&T, as I recently discovered.

3:14 p.m.  
Blogger tina said...

i feel the same way about olives! just the thought of them makes me feel sick.

3:23 p.m.  
Blogger Megan McGurk said...

I have several herbs growing on the deck in pots but parsley isn't one of them. It has no flavor.

4:34 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Cucumber?? In Gin?? Yack.

Etheline hates them too, Tina. I don't mind olives at all, except when they stuff them with bits of fish, like tuna-which I also dislike. Then they're gag worthy. The Marklar here goes all funny when you give him an olive, he carries it around in his mouth, dropping them now and then to and rub his cheek off them. Odd little fellow.

4:37 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

You really mean you can't taste parsley at all? Lucky Medbh, if that is the case.

4:38 p.m.  
Blogger Jo said...

Sorry for the double post earlier.

Here's what wikki says.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supertaster

4:42 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't eat/drink anything on that supertaster's list (except the first one) and grapefruit juice, which I find shockingly sour/bitter.
Never heard of it before.

Fillet steak tonight, potatoes (with home grown garlic chives) and no parsley.

4:53 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I'd never heard of it either but I see cabbage is there and that makes me vomit, and green tea, which is disgusting and sprouts! VIle wee iron-y cabbages. But it also contains alcohol and I'm pretty sure I'd lick alcohol off a scabby leg.

Your dinner sounds delightful BBB, as will be venison hotpot. He's just come back and put it on-it takes a while to cook, and already it smells delish. Stupid having to wait for things to cook.

5:01 p.m.  
Blogger Unknown said...

The spriggy parsley or the flat leaf parsley? And what about rocket, eh?

6:43 p.m.  
Blogger daisy mae said...

now, here's a question. is it both kinds of parsley you dislike, or just the "crinkly" kind? for me, i'll eat flat-leaf parsley (aka italian parsley) any day of the week.... but that curly-leafed parsley makes me gag.

everything in moderation.

6:43 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

ALL parsley, all of it, mucky cruddy poisonous weed.

Rocket's okay. Not wi----ld about it, but it's okay. It doesn't make me retch.

I've just had a dinner that woudl kill a pig. I believe elastic waisted pants are called for.

7:14 p.m.  
Blogger Megan McGurk said...

I've had three quiet days with the pups and no cooking.
It must be lovely to have a man cook for you.

8:09 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

It really is. I'll never take it for granted. Plus he's a terrific cook. Left to my own devices I'd subsist on diet of cheese, toast, steamed vegetables, eggs and maybe the occasional put upon banana.

8:18 p.m.  
Blogger laughykate said...

Parsley is dogfood.

I hate hate stupid condiments - once complained very loudly when I got once got parsley sprinkled over my fucking TOAST!

Also once got icing sugar sprinkled around my toast. That got returned very swiftly to the kitchen.

10:49 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Quite right! People fucking about with delicious buttery non herb/sugar needing toast deserve to be horsewhipped and then blunderbussed with ball-bearings and rock salt.
If they're that worried about dickying it up for you they ought to cut it up into soldiers and arrange it in a complicated but delicious buttery pyramids-like Gamma used to do. Parsley on toast, really, what a liberty.

11:31 p.m.  
Blogger morgor said...

alcoholic beverages : me likee
Brussels sprouts : ick
cabbage : not too keen
kale : not sure
coffee : prefer tea
grapefruit juice : too sour
green tea : ick
spinach : i like
soy products : meh

I guess I'm not a supertaster, just a good taster ;)

8:08 a.m.  
Blogger Unknown said...

"elastic waisted pants"

pics please!

9:56 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Nevah!

10:59 a.m.  
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