Friday, September 26, 2008

Motivational Scottification with a hint of ginger.



Bon freaking dia to you all. Ginger day is upon up at last and I though I'd Scottify your morning. Didn't this week seem very long? Or maybe it's just me. Every day seemed to last for two, every minute stretched into an hour. Bleaurgh. But huzzah! In some short hours the paramour and I will be heading off for the weekend, leaving a very befuddled Etheline in charge of some very demanding cats. Huzzah thrice!
Of course I have been bugging the ever loving shit out of her.
'Don't over feed them, the one-eyed on is not unlike a dog, it WILL follow you about. He's a butter licker too, so watch that. And beware the Bigger of the Cats and his wailing hostilities. He will test your ever last nerve. Puddy's lovely, but we all know that.'
'They're cats, they will be fine.'
'Don't forget you have to lock them in at night.'
'I know.'
'Otherwise they'll get knocked down or something. Maybe even attacked by roving gangs of fire cracking youths, you saw what happened to that poor swan right?'
'I'll lock them in.'
'They like to let out by seven am.'
'Okay.'
'The number for the vets is-'
'On the phone I know you told me.'
'You can give Puddy one of the small tins of fancy cat food, but only if the others aren't around, they'll bully her if they find out.'
'Right.'
'They like to snooze in my office during the day. They have baskets in there. Puddy's is the one with the purple tartan Avoca blanket in it.'
'The what?'
'Avoca-'
'I gave you that!'
'Oh, er. Well Puddy you see...'
'It cost a fucking fortune.'
'I see. It's a bit scratchy.'
'Pffft.'
I wanted to tell her the Bigger of the Cats will attempt to secure that particular basket for himself but Etheline has THAT puss on her so there was no point.
'Our numbers are on the fridge.'
'Which numbers would those be?"
'Well, the paramour's number.'
'Right.'
'So if there's-'
'Will you just stop! You're coming back on Sunday aren't you? For God's sake, what could possible happen between now and Sunday?'

If this was a movie or an episode of Scrubs the outlines would blur as one apocalyptic vision after another flashed before your eyes. Culminating with all three cats being skinned alive by Fur Farmers and then roasted on a spit by hunters wearing nothing but white face paint and ginger wigs. But I say nothing as I fear she will Chinese Burn me to death.

Anyway, since I won't be about to put up a Satdee post, here's what I did. I ran the legs off myself, a 10, a 12 and a 16. I would run today but for the flying and all, plus I'm missing kickboxing, which I feel weird about. Will this mean I'll go a whole week without bruises? Maybe I can run myself into some brick walls or something. Anyway with only one month to go before the DCM I'll be concentrating more and more on the running before tapering. If I can knock even twenty minutes of last year's time I'll be happy enough, any more than that and I'll be over the moon. But we'll see.
Have a very nice weekend everyone, especially Eva.


Packing music!-

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21 Comments:

Blogger jothemama said...

Have a god time, fmc. Your cats will be fine. They may not talk to you right away when you come back, but they'll be grand.

10:00 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Have a 'god' time? Are you winding me up missy!
I know, thank you. With regards to the cats, mine will talk, and wail and complain loudly. I've heard about folk who have cats who give them the cold shoulder after they've been away. Lucky suckers. Mine don't, in fact they never shut the hell up.

10:07 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Farking cats, I think my number one cat has established his very own version of feline fighclub. Whilst I am certain he is the ringleader clearly he is not very good at sparing or else he offers his face for pre match practice, 315 euro the vet cost me last night. I was seriously considering taking it out his face myself. Alas, I am moulding my younger cousin for when I am a way, I will be at my wits end with worry so I sympathise.

Have a lovely weekend, may there be fun and frollicks a plenty!


Nonny

10:27 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Thank you. And 315, yikes. No shoes for you. I don't even want to think about how much my buggers have cost over the years. But they're my animals so my responsibility and that includes bloody vet bills.
Sigh.

10:33 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don’t know what that cats beef is but he would fight with his shadow, the other cat, the dogs, the milk man (at 2 in the morning)……somehow he manages to come out the worst. What can you do, I am damned to a life of poverty and not sitting down to breakfast in my own home for fear my attire will be covered in layers of white cat hair.

Nonny

10:58 a.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

Have a good un FMC and don't forget to spread the legend that is ginger on foreign shores.

11:01 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Oh cat hair, the very bane of my existence. The amount of sticky rollers thingies I go through it criminal.

Will do Sheepie!

11:24 a.m.  
Anonymous eva said...

Oh I wish I could cat sit for you this weekend!!! I would love to be at their beck and call - my God the special treats I would give them! - and I would especially love to give Puddy just that little extra bit of love!
Have a super weekend, darling!!!!
xxxx

11:37 a.m.  
Anonymous Sheila said...

A new neighbour has recently moved near to me and when she saw my cat she said, Oh, I know him, that Rambo - Julie's cat. Julie is another neighbour. I showed her his name tag and she said she had wondered why he had a different name on his tag! I then discovered that my cat has other homes, he goes in and sprawls on their sofas/beds and they all feed him. I couldn't understand why he was getting so fat, but he must be getting umpteen meals a day. What an unfaithful creature!

11:41 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Oh Eva, and Puddy would so let you.

Sheila, that's so funny. The Marklar and the Bigger of the cats go next door every morning too, for second breakfast, the hobbity shites. They are two timing buggers aren't they?

11:47 a.m.  
Anonymous eva said...

By the way the blanket bit made me smile, I've got an Avoca blanket that an Irish friend gave me, it keeps me warm every night in front of the telly - but the first thing I thought when I got it was, 'gosh, a cat would really love this one'.
So I'm very glad to hear you are giving Puddy the 'Avoca treatment' hahahaha.
Another old old old blanket I got, every cat I had absolutely ADORED that blanket, to the point that I have never managed to wash out all the cat hair it accumulated over the years. I think these days it is equally made of cat hair as much as it is of wool... I love that blanket :)

12:05 p.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

No Diggity! Used to be my getting ready to go out tune. Yes, I know that sounds a touch girly, but its friggin brilliant.

12:19 p.m.  
Anonymous eva said...

LOVE THAT SONG!!! Got the single and don't know how many times I've listened to it over the years.
Millions ;)
But it's a long time ago now since I heard it - thanks, it's making my mood lift :-)

12:40 p.m.  
OpenID grimsaburger said...

You know, I wouldn't have had glowing praise for Blackstreet featuring Dre way back in the day, but I'm finding myself shaking my head and saying, "They just don't make hip hop like they used to."

Have a lovely weekend FMC!

12:57 p.m.  
Anonymous stipes said...

Enjoy, and don't be annoying the paramour, asking him to ring home every 10 mins to check on the little ones, (get your own fone)

1:43 p.m.  
Blogger Holy Madness said...

Not hating, just saying, what's with the irish pirate patios?

2:11 p.m.  
Anonymous problemchildbride said...

Have a great time, holidaymakers!

3:11 p.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

Play on playa!

Happy beer o'clock to one and all. Have a good weekend folks, esp eva.

5:03 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

Have a fabulous weekend with the Paramour, FMC!

I can't believe that I've never watched that video until now.
I'm all for celebrating rump shaking on a friday along with the gingerosity.

11:45 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

This song always makes me shake my ass:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XBgXBvI8a0

11:52 p.m.  
Blogger Around My Kitchen Table said...

Last week I bought myself a really soft and luxurious black towelling dresssing gown. This week it looks like a ginger cat, what with all the hairs on it, as He Who Rules The House decided it was a very snuggly place to sleep and the two people he owns didn't have the heart to move him!

3:31 p.m.  

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