Friday, February 27, 2009

In Death, the Vultures have no Shame.

And lo, on this most Gingerest of days, the bubbling cauldron of Reiki hatred is once more stirred with the ladle of earthly contempt. For verily it is with the greatest of stink eye that I read the following story.
Observe how the pilot fish bottom-feeding scum-sucking leechy mumbojumbo fraudulent quackular charlatan CUNTBUTLERS that are Reiki Practitioners have slithered their way forth and into the mainstream media. Quelle Surprise, SHOCK horror. Pass me my fainting couch Doris.
Oh Reiki- spit spit- How I hate you so. I hate that no one can be angry about you without immediately being accused of being negative. I hate how you lie, I hate how you convince sick people you are helping. I hate that you take their money. If you just said, 'Look, I can't heal you but you might feel better about talking to someone.' I would let you slide by like the stinkiest of runny shit you are. But no, you must use 'energies' 'blockages' I hate you, I hate you with every fibre of my being, with all of my liver, every part, even the bad bits.
And it is not negativity, it is scorn, it is unbridled passionate derision. You fraudulent abuser of the sick. You deathbed viper. If I could blunderbuss Reiki and all the silly 1/2/3/ master idiots who dabble in its clinging slime I would. Were you corporeal I would rip your head off and piss on your spine, you worthless piece of sceptic pus filled junk. I would hack you into a thousand pieces, pour rock salt on you and then douse you in petrol and light a match.
This kind of shit, I am against it.



Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Bit conflicted now - don't want the poor woman to die, but don't want her to have a miraculous reiki 'cure' either.

Btw, do they sort out colon 'blockages' too?

9:57 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I don't want her to die either, I don't want any one to die. But this kind of 'hedge your bets' fraud is sickening. I mean he 'can't cure her' he says, but he can help with 'her curing?' What a load of shit.

And sure he can, he can zap it with his mystical drain clean.

10:02 a.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...

I wonder can reiki clear up my Saturday sneezing.

10:05 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Dunno, where would you like them to lay their hands?

10:06 a.m.  
OpenID ninetyninewords said...

FMC, I don't know how you can doubt his credentials. He's probably got a certificate and everything. Maybe even two.

10:31 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Oh for sure, from some university of Hogsworth. Or the Bi-aura Association or whatever the hell it was I read about before. Oh Bi-Aura, how's that for woo.

10:42 a.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

"Bi-aura" is so euphonyus you've just got to love it, like the old ki-ora ads - "We all adore a bi-aura"

11:05 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Even the word 'aura' bi or otherwise, makes my eye brow twitchy.

11:13 a.m.  
Blogger morgor said...

The comment at the end is says it all really.

"Jade is willing to try anything at this stage.”

nothing quite like targeting people when they are at their most desperate.

11:19 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

And that is exactly what is so utterly vile about hucksters, of any stripe.

11:21 a.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...

And he's clearly doing it for publicity for his own business...

12:50 p.m.  
Blogger daisy mae said...

so i should return that "lifetime supply of reiki sessions" gift certificate i got you, then?

1:55 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Heh. Only if by return you actually mean burn in the fires of a thousand suns.

Twenty, I know, imagine.

2:02 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think Turlough in Fair Shitty is a great advert for Reiki, faith healing, contacting your dead relations etc.
I'm going to send him 20,000 euros.

2:58 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

There is a healer in Fair City?

Conan, if you're about, how much do you reckon Healer Hal might charge for this type of jobbie?

3:04 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

He advertises a 'treatment' for €100. I don't know if there's a reduction for follow up visits or a course of 'treatments'. He should really get onto Max, I'd say they could work something out.

3:09 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Christ, could you imagine? two vipers for the price of one.

3:54 p.m.  
Anonymous Bonnie B. said...

I agree with you whole-heartedly FMC about hating the Reiki and their lying ways but.......they wouldn't be here if people didn't pay them for their "services" right? It's like Seinfeld said about the tabloids: The people who read them deserve to be lied to. If people are so stupid as to believe in that crap, then they deserve to be fleeced for every dime. Even the ones who are dying. (I'm in a crappy mood, can you tell? And on Ginger Day and everything - this just isn't right!)

6:11 p.m.  
Anonymous stipes said...

when the cancer cells disappear,and her lovely mop-top re-appears, won't you look the right silly one

8:09 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Yes, because it will ahve been the reiki that did it.

Bonnie, fear not, everyone has days like that, I had a least two this week alone. I am sending soothing sea sounds your way. wish, swish, wish, swish, ou -oooh ou-ooooh

8:18 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

Someone needs to take a shovel to his face. Parasite.

11:50 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...


11:04 a.m.  
Blogger Max Drive said...

Hi All.

Not specific to this case but there is a delightful post on Jessica Gottlieb's blog entitled "Granny's iPhone Picture of the Day: Spiritually Bankrupt"

It is about 2/3 of the way down the page.

FMC, I think you will like the Astrological and spiritual nature of that post. ;-)


9:57 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Heh, cheers Max, I don't even know what 'crystal and oreca reading' could possibly mean.

10:05 a.m.  
Blogger Max Drive said...

Hey FMC,
Apparently they weren't real clear either or they'd have known that if you don't pay the lease you have to get out. Predicted that well, didn't they?

6:51 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

It's a sign! It's a sign!

4:12 p.m.  

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