Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Jade Goody's Reality Death.

'I feel sorry for that girl.' The Paramour said in a compassionate bout the other night, during the adverts.
'Jade Goody.'
'Why?' I said, picking through the popcorn. 'She's not a particularly nice person and if she wasn't dying you wouldn't give a toss about her.'
'But she is dying, I'd be surprised if she doesn't die within the next few months.'
'Everybody dies Paramour.' I replied, 'Just not quite so publicly.'
'Still, I just feel a bit sorry for her.'

And then we went back to watching Let The Right One In.

But truthfully I do find myself thinking about reality television überstar Jade Goody this morning. How can I not think about her, she's everywhere. I see her swollen tearful face staring out from every magazine cover on the supermarket shelves. The wenches in the shop were all yapping about her when I went to get the milk. Someone was waffling about her in the gym yesterday, actually wondering ALOUD if she'd lost a lot of weight due to her cancer and what size dress she'd wear now ( oh women, we are quite hard nosed when we want to be, perhaps someone can market this? Cancerslim! The new weight loss product, yours for 65.99 per week, CancerSLIM!)
She's all over the press, I know more about her cancer- its retractions, its spread, its development- than I do about ANYTHING on my own body. People talk of her dignity, how she's doing right by her boys, her upcoming marriage to 'Jack' the lovable jailbird scamp currently wheeling her about. ( GET A PRE-NUP). She's all over our tellies, crying, being brave, crying, being brave, crying. I mean, it's all Jade, all tears, all the time!
Reality television is a weird planet. It takes a hodge podge of folk and shovels them into 'realityville' before our eyes for our perusal. It's almost like pantomine in a way.
Of course reality television is not reality, we are shown heavily edited snippets, our approval and disapproval hinges on our being shown the good and the bad and the down right ugly. Boo hiss, we might think when a loud mouth gobber calls a beautiful Bollywood star Shilpa Poppudom, yay hurrah, when tearfully remorseful the teary gobber says 'sorry, I'm an ignorant half wit, but my mum is a one-armed lesbian.' Getting Lipo? Live on air? Hmm, boo, no wait, hurrah, cry first though would you dear? Oh PLASTIC SURGERY? Yay, I mean boo, cry for me would you dear? That's it, mmmsalty. Wot? You woz abused? YAYY! Here, my heart string, pluck it for me.
It's a mendacious manipulation of emotions and subjects. And surely the apogee of reality television is about to be scaled. The death of its überstar. I mean publicist Max Clifford will milk this one for every tearful cent there is to be squeezed from the teat of viewerdom. The golden goose is dying of a protracted disease after all, excellently for him it appears to be fatal, long enough to require our commitment to viewing Jade's tragedy, short enough that we won't tire of her death rattle. I mean it's the fucking holy grail of reality death.
So roll up rollup, get your viewing cards ready, unfurl the tissues of weepingdom. Brave Jade will marry her sprat Jack, she will kiss her two boys, there will be tears, tenderness, a spread in OK Magazine! We will share her joy of wifelyness even as we admire the bony shoudlers of her cancerliness. We will talk and witter and ponder. We will be entertained. Jade will entertain us. Right up until she draws her last camera ready breath.



Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Perfect example of why one should NEVER EVER feed the monkeys.

11:06 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

In case Max Clifford shows up?

11:17 a.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

Gladiator springs to mind...
After the slaughter of slaves for public entertainment - "Are you not entertained? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?"

11:18 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

It does, does it not. Mmm, Gladiator. The one and ONLY time I fancied the pants off Crowe.

11:26 a.m.  
Anonymous PRyin said...

I get at least a hit a day from google searches usually including "goody" and "eyebrows" since posting:

Needless to say, I share much the same opinion as you Mammycat.

11:54 a.m.  
Blogger morgor said...

i knew nothing more than she had cancer.

*sarcasm* Thanks for keeping me up to date with celeb gossip */sarcasm*

I hope she dies soon. . . maybe too harsh. . . . i hope she . . . dies well?

12:04 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Weird the stuff people search for. 'Fat Sleeping Mammy' comes up a lot in my search engine, which leads me to believe there are a lot of hyper angry children* out there contemplating muder.

* is not one of them.

12:05 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

MORGOR! Just becasue you're hungover and longing for death to give you a reach around!

12:06 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

Wait...this person is dying of cancer...on television?

That is the height of ghoulishness.

And I thought a band replacing its dead lead singer through a television contest was icky.

Western culture sucks right now.


12:33 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

She was originally a Big Brother contestent, but marketed to become famous for being...well, famous. I wouldn't be the slight bit surprised if her death was televised.

12:45 p.m.  
Anonymous PRyin said...

In fairness, I think the people who google their way to my post are doing so out of the same question which created it.
"Why does she have eyebrows? Should she have no eyebrows?"
I usually follow with "Why did I even glance at the magazine rack? Surely I knew it would disturb me greatly, as always".

12:52 p.m.  
Blogger morgor said...

longing for death to give you a reach around!


Is it legal to bet on how long she will last?

Now that would be ghoulish.

Actually, trying to buy her body after she dies and eating it would be ghoulish but lets not get out of hand.

1:14 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

That's true about the eyebrows actually, why does she have eyebrows when all the hair on her head fell out?
Oh god, this is what I've been reduced to thinking about of an afternoon. That and Morgor's reach arounds.

1:38 p.m.  
Blogger morgor said...

at least you're not thinking about old men wanking.

oh hold on...

1:53 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Now why would ANYONE think about a shrivelled one-eyed custard chucker slapping the baps a younger man's bike stand? Admit it Morgor, that would seem strange.

2:00 p.m.  
Blogger morgor said...

Actually I'd better patent that idea.

A new reality TV show.

Geriatric Wankathon.

Sorry, i'll go back to Twenty's site now.

2:00 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I like how speaking of geriatric ball bags you automatically thought of Twenty. He'll be thrilled I"m sure.

2:03 p.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

"Geriatric Wankathon"

Sorry Morgor, The Last of the Summer Wine xmas special aleady took care of that.

2:05 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Last of the Summer Wine is probably like soft porn to Morgor.

2:11 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

But you're also a publicity whore FMC.

Pot calling the kettle black methinks.

2:20 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

You think?

2:23 p.m.  
Blogger morgor said...

But you're also a publicity whore FMC.


Yeah FMC you should get out of the tabloids, always gaining and losing weight or going back to rehab just to get on the front page.

2:38 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I was just saying to Max the other day I thought my profile needed work.
I said 'Max you know what I'm short of in my ceaseless quest for global recognition? Nonsequitur adhominem anonymonkeys, I just don't seem to have enough of those.'
Max, being a good sort, agreed.

2:42 p.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

FMC in 'nonsequitur adhominem anonymonkeys' shocker!!
Full story on pages 5-12.

2:45 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My opinion has changed over the years on Jade Goody. She was a thick, ugly, ignorant, embarrassing, fame seeker at the time of BB. Since then I've seen her talk on tv and she's not only not stupid, she's a bit smarter than the average viewer. She missed most of her education, had a less than ideal upbringing yet still didn't end up where a lot of young adults did. She had a job. She wasn't a teenage mother. In the interviews I saw she gave thoughtful answers to questions whilst answering on the hoof. She's grown more as a person in a few years than most do in a lifetime.
I'm not surprised at her wish to raise as much as possible for her kids, I'm sure most of us would do the same and many less ethical/moral means too. This is the what she understands, what she's used to. She knows how that machine works and has the skin to deal with it, even manipulate it. She knows they'll be telling less complimentary stories after she's gone.
As for Jack...

2:48 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Heh, Sheepie. Hold the presses.
Jack's a shark Sam, he smells blood in the water. Goody makes a lot of people a lot of money.

2:51 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Weird, how did I read Nintyninewords as Problem Child Bride, I do apologise.

2:52 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Anonymonkeys, nuts, feeding, again...

[off topic.. found a woo merchant so wondrous I had to lyricise him over at my gaff]

3:00 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I'll be RIGHT over!

3:03 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, I imagine he's being offered "after" money for his story as we speak. For the sake of the kids I hope her mum avoids the chequebooks and just gets on with things out of the spotlight.

Dying in your twenties and not seeing your kids grow up. That's a barrel of shit allright.
Silver lining before I do some work, smear tests up by 20%, smear test appointment cancellations down by 20%.

3:05 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Coming from the perspective of someone who is in remission from cancer. We all react differently to the diagnosis and to how we handle the treatment. You undergo a profound sense of shock- I don't think Jade has really taken in that she is dying, whatever she may say. She has lived her life in front of the cameras, aided and abetted by the media circus and now she has chosen to continue on that media roll, her decision has attracted huge public criticism. There is a definite snobbery by the public towards the way Jade has chosen to handle her illness. In the last week, it was reported that a massive increase in women attending screenings for cervical cancer have taken place and they put this down to the Jade effect. The rapidity of her cancer and the fact that her image has been constantly before us has played a large part in this. If you hear of a celebrity with cancer, after your initial shock, you forget about it again, as they either go away quietly to die or emerge a year later better than ever. Well Jade is not going quietly and if she chooses to die as she lived - in front of the cameras, well that is her right. No-one should dictate how you choose to live or die. Whatever her reasons for doing it, whether you agree with it or not, Jade has brought cancer out into the open - this is what it looks like to deal with a diagnosis of cancer, to loose your hair, to endure chemotherapy, to leave your children behind. It is not a pretty sight, but then neither is cancer. If it raises our awareness of this dreadful disease, well then it has achieved something. This is where the focus of the discussion should be and on the need for a national cervical screening programme for women in Ireland. Apologies for long posting, but it is something I feel very strongly about.

4:37 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

The media gloat too heartily over the cancer porn.
I feel sorry for her being exploited as she dies.

4:46 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

It is good that there is an uptake in screenings, that's for sure. But the -for want of a better word - Dianafication of Jade is questionable, as is the rather gruesome interest in her demise. A lot of us have rather first hand experience with cancer, it's an ugly vicious indiscriminate cunt of a disease, but I don't know, the Max Cliffords of this world surely take some beating.
Either way, to know your dying in your twenties is a horrible state to be in, especially leaving behind two small children. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

5:31 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm I the only person in the country who thinks this is a total farce. Yes it is terrible that she is dying but what about all the unknowns dying. I feel sick that people like Max Clifford are actually supporting this. If Jade was a truly genuine person she whould be doing this to raise money to go to charity.

6:50 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

She's raising money for her kids and their future education as far as I can gather. Nothing wrong with wanting your kids to have what you lacked.
As to the farce angle, it is a bit. Clifford is a leech.

6:59 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I do understand that she wants to secure her children's future but when you see Harrods giving her dress for free and Elton John of all people giving her one of his mansions, why don't these people donate money to charity. Wouldn't it look better on their part to be supporting the mass and not just one.

7:11 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I suppose, it's all a bit of a circus really.

8:13 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahhh Jesus that is not nice at all. I hate hate hate reality television but before you blame the subjects of such reality type TV programs you have to wonder about the intellect of those who elect themselves for filming and indeed ridicule. I mean they are hardly the brightest people on the planet. Seems to me many are just walking tragedies with entrepreneurial skills that only extend to attracting attention and doing anything for a few quid. The measly few bucks contestants make is nothing compared to that of the puppeteer's who continually strive to set them up to fall on their naïve faces.

I am not a big fan but Ms Goody exploits the camera in much the same way as Jordan except the latter can only do it with her pants off. She is going to exploit herself until the last and with the only benefactors being her two young sons you can’t say fairer than that.

Also, one thing the girl has done and should be commended for is highlighting the plight of cancer sufferers and the need to be vigilant by availing of screening.

I don’t particularly admire her but I certainly won’t be rejoicing in her shortcomings nor should anyone else with a sense of decency.


8:35 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I doubt anyone is rejoicing in her dying. It would be very queer to do so.

8:38 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

God, I got a headache reading all of this - such negativity!!! Back off the girl, she's human, she fucked up, so what? She'll help people... think of all the linktastic madness she'll feed to the awareness sites!!!

That's a pretty fantastic legacy for anyone to leave behind, ample payment for being a visual pain in the ass and then some.

Turn a blind eye... get pissed and have a stogie. Bitterness is bad for you.

10:44 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Back off her? It's not about her at all For marmalade's sake. It's about then endless publicity machine behind her. Pity about your headache.

7:56 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i can't wait until she (jade goody) dies !!!

8:36 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

That's really sad.

1:57 p.m.  
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