Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Chickens are not hawks!

I posted this before on the remarkable Dr maroon's site, but as I am up to my tonsils with work I thought some of you tootsies might enjoy it again.
I firmly believe I lived the idyll when it came to childhoods.
I grew up in the countryside of Ireland. I lived in a large rambling house with my parents, my then evil older sister Etheline, my other even older sister who was not evil, and my brother- who is slightly younger than me and thus was the sibling I played with most.
For whatever reason, our parents did not spend huge amounts of time entertaining us or arranging playdates, or driving us places, any of that sort of thing. We were to amuse ourselves and so we did.
We had four dogs, two working collies and two household mutts, we had zillions of cats, mostly feral, unless we could find the kittens early enough to get them used to humans. We had a palomino pony who was grouchy and would bite and took ages to catch. We had a hunter, Bess, a sixteen two hands high liver chestnut mare, who I loved dearly and was terrified of because when ever I rode her she did what she wanted. This included throwing me and my best friend off once when she got fed up of us riding her back and forth across the head lands. She went trotting off home, leaving us to walk back to the house.
We children climbed trees, caught frogs, built forts, fished in our own brook for minnows, swam and created a mini version of the RDS Horse Show using brush handles and cement breeze blocks, which we would then make the collies jump over as we did commentary. We rode Raleigh bikes that sometimes folded in half as we cycled. We did not have brakes a lot of the time, but Clark shoes are indestructible and worked very well.
We were wildish, we were thin, we were filthy most of the time, we were freeish, we lived a great deal of the time out doors. We did not have play stations, computers, video games, mobile phones, or indeed anything to amuse us other than books and imagination.
Imagination was never a problem for my brother and me. We fought, we created, we destroyed. We learned that nettles sting; rose hips make great itching powder; if you catch mice and hide them in the kitchen the house keeper will complain and you will be slapped; bulls sometimes do not give warnings before they chase you; and the electric current running through cattle wire won't kill you but it will give you a dead arm for an hour.
Another great discovery we made one summer's day is that chickens are not hawks.
My brother and I had been watching Ivanhoe or Robin of Sherwood or some such Saturday afternoon show on our two channel television. Inspired, we ran out to the back paddock and began to battle for the control of the 'all the lands'.
We couldn't catch the blasted pony, but we did snare two fairly tame Bantam chickens, which we then pretended were hawks, ( the best villains always had a bird of prey perched on their arm)
So we held the poor chicken by their feet and they flapped and squaked a bit while we threatened each other with broom handles shouting. 'Fie, a pox upon your village' and 'You will pay the tax m'lud, or suffer the consequence!' and so on at each other.
Then it was dinner time and, rather that re-catch the chickens,-they were tame not stupid- we decided to get a length of clothesline, tie it around their feet and tie them to the lower branch of the horsechesnut tree we were playing beside so that we could continue our game after dinner.
We went inside, washed, had dinner, watched some telly -probably the Irish RM (Flurry Knox, what a chancer). Then-as it was a saturday- we were forced to take baths and have our hair washed with Clinic shampoo(vile/smelly)
We went to bed forgetting all about the poor birds. Next morning as we were getting ready for mass, my brother suddenly looked at me.
'Shit,' he said, 'the chickens!'
We sprinted outside, over the railings and back towards the tree.
I'll never forget it.
My brother's bird had somehow gotten loose and was gone, but my bird, poor old Goldie, had fallen off her branch at some point and was swinging gently about three feet above the ground from one foot, in a dead faint.
Horrified and thinking she was dead, I untied her, but as she dropped she made a faint 'squak' sound, so I knew she'd be okay once I'd revived her.
I was shaking her gently and weeping, crying, 'Oh Goldie, I'm so sorry! Poor Goldie, you're not a hawk are you?' while my brother lay on the grass laughing his arse off.
My mother slapped him when she saw the grass stains on his pants.
So you see, chickens are not hawks.


Blogger Dr Maroon said...

Flurry Knox ended up buried under a patio in Brookside Close. You never can tell, can you?

Is that magnificent specimen an American Redtailed Hawk by any chance?

I thought I posted this before.

1:58 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

Brilliant reminiscences, FMC. That started my day off beautifully.

I'm so glad you're blogging.

2:45 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I believe it is Docky, poor Flurry. It was Major Yates I liked, and his blundering ways.
Andraste, ta very much. Sigh, childhood rocked.

2:48 p.m.  
Blogger SheBah said...

An idyllic childhood, lucky you FMC. Mine was good only in parts, like the curate's egg.

5:27 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

It was fantastic, SB. Naturally my late teens and early twenties are the stuff of nightmares and I ballsed it up spectacularly.
It seems you can't have it both ways. But no-matter, childhood was tops and I remember it through a faintly rosey tint.

5:41 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My brothег suggested Ι might likе
this web sitе. He was entirely гight.
This post actually made my day. Yοu cаnn't imagine simply how much time I had spent for this info! Thanks!

Feel free to surf to my site payday loans

3:16 a.m.  
Blogger oakleyses said...

kate spade outlet online, polo ralph lauren, burberry outlet online, ray ban sunglasses, ugg boots clearance, christian louboutin shoes, ray ban sunglasses, chanel handbags, michael kors outlet store, louis vuitton handbags, louis vuitton outlet, christian louboutin, louis vuitton outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, michael kors handbags, longchamp handbags, ray ban outlet, prada outlet, michael kors outlet online, nike free, jordan shoes, cheap ugg boots, prada handbags, nike air max, oakley sunglasses, burberry outlet online, louis vuitton outlet online, tiffany jewelry, louis vuitton, michael kors outlet online, ugg outlet, nike outlet, cheap oakley sunglasses, longchamp outlet online, replica watches, nike air max, oakley sunglasses, gucci handbags, red bottom shoes, michael kors outlet online sale, ugg australia, cheap ugg boots outlet, longchamp outlet, tiffany and co, michael kors outlet, oakley vault, tory burch outlet online

1:48 a.m.  
Blogger oakleyses said...

guess pas cher, abercrombie and fitch, michael kors outlet online, coach outlet store online, new balance pas cher, true religion outlet, ray ban uk, nike air max, nike air max, hollister uk, louboutin, vans pas cher, hollister, ralph lauren uk, longchamp, ray ban pas cher, mulberry uk, nike roshe, nike roshe run, air jordan, true religion outlet, air max, nike free pas cher, oakley pas cher, north face pas cher, north face, scarpe hogan, tn pas cher, nike free, hermes pas cher, true religion, michael kors uk, lacoste pas cher, lululemon outlet online, kate spade outlet, longchamp pas cher, ralph lauren pas cher, timberland pas cher, true religion jeans, coach outlet, replica handbags, converse pas cher, michael kors, burberry pas cher, sac vanessa bruno, air max pas cher, nike air force, coach purses, michael kors canada, nike blazer pas cher

1:50 a.m.  
Blogger oakleyses said...

mcm handbags, babyliss, nike air max, wedding dresses, iphone 6s plus cases, longchamp, oakley, iphone 5s cases, abercrombie and fitch, ferragamo shoes, beats headphones, mont blanc pens, iphone 6s cases, mac cosmetics, s6 cases, ipad cases, instyler ionic styler, new balance outlet, p90x workout, louboutin, nfl jerseys, asics shoes, jimmy choo shoes, nike air huarache, hollister clothing store, bottega veneta, nike trainers, valentino shoes, ghd, iphone 6 plus cases, reebok shoes, iphone cases, insanity workout, chi flat iron, birkin bag, soccer jerseys, north face jackets, timberland boots, hollister, vans outlet, iphone 6 cases, ralph lauren, soccer shoes, herve leger, lululemon outlet, nike roshe, baseball bats, celine handbags, giuseppe zanotti, north face jackets

2:06 a.m.  
Blogger oakleyses said...

hollister canada, ugg boots, ugg, karen millen, barbour, moncler outlet, swarovski uk, coach outlet, montre femme, louis vuitton pas cher, doke gabbana outlet, marc jacobs handbags, moncler, canada goose outlet, pandora uk, vans, supra shoes, pandora jewelry, canada goose outlet, gucci, air max, barbour jackets, pandora jewelry, swarovski jewelry, moncler, thomas sabo uk, moncler, ugg soldes, converse shoes, ray ban, wedding dress, ugg, uggs canada, replica watches, converse, louis vuitton uk, moncler, juicy couture, louis vuitton, canada goose, canada goose, canada goose, canada goose pas cher, moncler outlet, pandora charms, sac louis vuitton, canada goose, juicy couture outlet, links of london uk, toms outlet, moncler, moncler, louis vuitton canada

2:09 a.m.  
Blogger chenlili said...

coach outlet
nike outlet online
michael kors outlet
michael kors outlet
polo ralph lauren outlet
polo outlet
fitflops shoes
canada goose outlet store
ray ban sunglasses
ralph lauren uk

1:47 a.m.  
Blogger Farhan Tanvir said...

Very nice post. I definitely appreciate this site.
Car Image Editing

9:45 a.m.  

Post a Comment

<< Home