Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Vet shoulda looked a Meg Ryan.

Good morning/afternoon,
I'm sorry for tardy post, but I have been at the vets most of the morning with the oldest of the cats (15). She has a chronic ear problem and has had for years, so every so often the vet and I roll up our sleeves, put on our chain mail, goggles and oxygen tanks and prepare to preform a really deep clean out.
Today was actually not as bad as I thought it would be and we only lost a few pieces of skin. She yowled all the way home and is now snoozing grumpily on the end of my bed.
So Hollywood tat- Katies Holmes still hasn't given birth to Tom 'I'm not crazy you don't know crazy' Cruise's baby.
Oprah says she is not hosting Jennifer Aniston's wedding to Vince Vaughn- apparently lots of people thought she was.
Melissa and Tammy Etheridge are expecting twins.
Meg Ryan claims Dennis Quaid cheated on her. She, who had a very public affair with Russell Crowe, tried to make a grumpy face as she said this, but her new face wouldn't let her, she is still scary looking and I don't like her at all because she called Michael Parkinson ' a nut' after she was really really rude on his show. Boo hiss, Parky's lovely and you look like the joker from Batman- which is what I'm going to call my new dog when I ever get him.
So all in all there ya have it.
Going off to find Dettol now.
UPDATE : For the Duke Lacrosse Rape scandal, for those who are interested in the case.


Blogger SheBah said...

I fed a friends cat over the weekend, and I swear that cat understands English perfectly. It must have been skulking about in the garden, cos when I arrived to feed him, he stood on hind legs and tapped at the French door - I told him go in by the cat flap and he turned to walk around to the side door - I said, no wait, I'll let you in, just wait til I get the key and the bloody cat came back and waited! I have new respect for my feline friend.

12:47 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I have three fo them. The oldest one and the biggest one are smart enough. The youngest one is as dumb as a stump.

1:02 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I'm looking at him right now and he is stalking a shadow across the floor. earlier he was yeowing at himself in the mirror.

1:04 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

My oldest cat broke a toe. She was playing with the youngest, must have gotten a claw caught in the carpet and twisted it. $400 later, she's short one toe, (they had to do a partial declaw, since a cast wouldn't have stayed on) and we're that much farther away from having any savings.

But we LOOOOOVE them. (twitch)

2:50 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Oh sweetie, I FEEL your pain! The biggest had 38 stitches from a fight and a broken leg one time, cast, cast, stitches out 'nother cast, eventually it all healed. But the bill wiped me out. The youngest one...well I"m not even going to think about cost really, because I'll start crying. Suffice to say he was only a few weeks old when I found him, blind, riddled with cat flu, not fully weaned and covered in fleas. One vet's office turned me down flat when I arrived with him in a cardboard box. They said there was nothing they could do. Luckily I knew of another, younger vet who was willing to try if I was willing to meet 'some' of the costs. (techically he wasn't mine you see so it was very kind of them to assist. He was on a drip for a week and yet they only charged me 7 euros a day.)
He actually fainted one time while I was mixing up a solution of sugar and water to put into a syringe so I could inject it into his mouth so he had enough energy to eat...I was so sure he was a gonner. I had to rub his chest really hard to keep his heart going while simultaneously squeezing the glucose into his mouth.
He was so small I used to wash him in the hand sink in my bathroom, towel him dry and pick the blasted fleas off him with a tweezers. (he was too weak for any flea killer)
Now he's a one-eyed, youghurt licking, doughnut/popcorn eating self-admirer. King of the house, fly catcher champion and supreme fighter. Dumb as a stump but awfully cute with it. As I type him and the big one are busy playing with a each other and springing around like lambs.
Plus mine are microchipped and have passports which cost a fortune, add that to the food bills and yearly innoculations...
I'm going off now to make coffee and brood for a while.

3:18 p.m.  
Blogger Foot Eater said...

You have 15 cats? Whoah!

3:28 p.m.  
Blogger SheBah said...

...and Katie Holmes, can you believe that's a baby in there and not a young foal? Could little Tom Cruise have possibly been responsible for that huge bump or was she artificially inseminated?

3:34 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Footie, she is 15.
Sexy, don't ya you find the whole pregnancy thing odd? Did you see him being interviewed on Diane Sayer? He looks very much like he hanging on his sanity by the flimsiest of threads. And that manic laugh...most distrubing. Whoever used to do his PR deserves an oscar. I had no idea he was so crazy.

3:45 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh no! You've made me think of vets' fees just when I was revelling in the ease with which I can take on the responsibility of a dog. My cat has only been sick once, and that was stress-related. It still cost a small fortune though, as she had to be kept in for observation and was subjected to a battery of tests.
Hopefully the dog will have more luck and not need medical attention for years, apart from having his knackers off, obviously.

5:00 p.m.  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

I knew you were nothing but a big softie, fmc.

In America the vets declaw the cats as a matter of routine which amounts a toe-ectomy. We absolutely refused when it was offered to our cat. Two sofa's later we stand by our decision still. Or I do. Dave thinks we should have ripped her tiny toes right off and he wasn't fussy about paying for anaesthetic either, especilly after sofa #2.

Are your cats going on their holidays? Why the pet-passports?

5:01 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

They get over the proceedure fairly sharpish Miss Ann, so don't fret. But it take a couple of week for the hormones to change in the body. So if there is, oh say. leg humping and what not, it does take a while to taper off.

5:02 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Hi Sam, no holidays, but they have travelled with me in the past and if I was going away for an extended period I would take them with me. And I do like to flit back and forth to Spain.
I think declawing is barbaric and totally effects how a cat moves and defends itself. How can it ever escape danger if it can't climb trees and what not. Mine live in an apartment so that is moot, but I still think it is awful. AND I'm looking at the demolished end of the cord sofa! For the record I don't like dogs with cropped ears either. I think all animals-unless you intend to breed them- should be neutered and microchipped. If people neutered their animals the pounds would not be destroying countless healthy animals each year.

5:10 p.m.  
Blogger Boliath said...

Declawing is mucho frowned upon in this here part of America, vets still do it but the PC police are on them and rightly so it is barbaric. Mind you they still circumcise baby boys here for stupid reasons, blows my mind: http://boliath.blogspot.com/2006/01/snip-or-no.html

5:31 p.m.  
Blogger Boliath said...

Oh and nice one on teh MEg Ryan +The Joker - she totally does, she's a freak! Tom Cruise - total freak, Katie Holmes - prosthetic belly, gestating an alien, poor child. Vet Bills - eek - I have pet insurance, oh yes I do sad cow that I am, it's about $10 a month for the madra and the two cats - each that is not all together - a bit of money each year but if it saves me the $3k I spent on the cat that was hit by a car a few years ago, it will be worth it. He's fine now.

5:34 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Oh god, Boliath, 3 grand? I almost broke out into a sweat when I read that. Fortunately I was distracted by the idea of Tom Cruise eating Katie's placenta with red sauce-thank you Miss Ann. Now I just feel peachy and not at all sick.

5:45 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would never recommend anyone tackle a placenta without some serious condiments. The cat lost her ovaries years ago so I've no qualms about depriving the dog of his nads, though I feel faint at the thought of three grand. Now that IS painful.

6:47 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

MMnn, all this talk of bollock chopping reminds me I have a meeting in exactly one hour in town. Gotta run and go get ready.

7:07 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

I go violent when someone tells me they're even THINKING of having their cat declawed. It is barbaric and stupid. I've been known to become very loud and frightening on the subject.

My 3 cats have their claws (except for the calico, to the tune of one) and all my furniture is shit.

8:06 p.m.  
Blogger LindyK said...

News flash: its name is Suri and it's a girl... you can't make this shit up. Hollywood is so fuckin retarded...

1:18 a.m.  
Blogger Dr Maroon said...

$3000 would pay for 150 cataract operations in the third world


It's a thought innit?

8:07 a.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...

$3000 would also buy a 42" plasma screen TV.

Fuck the blind cunts.

9:05 a.m.  
Blogger Dr Maroon said...

Plasma? Where you been? It's fucking HD LED now.

9:28 a.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...

Once the blind cunts are fucked I'm easy.

9:44 a.m.  
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