Sleepless in Dublin.
Golly, this not taking sleeping tablets is a real blast. I mean, here I am, 7 AM, I've fed the cats, walked the pup and had a slice of toast. What ever will I do with myself next? Oh I know, I'll crack on with my work. Yes, that's it, I'll work. I mean, I"ve only been awake since 5:40 having had a good solid two hours sleep. What more could a girl need?
Sleep, it's overrated isn't it? Luckily I don't seem to need that much, well I"m exhausted, but I'm awake...so I mustn't need much, right? Right?
You know when you're walking down the street and someone says 'hey, hey remember me?' And you're all like, 'erm...well hi there.' But you haven't a single clue who the person is, but they're faintly familiar, then as they keep talking to you, asking how you are and how's the family, are you still in the same line of work... after a while a creeping realisation works its way up your spine. You do remember this person, you do, but you also remember that you don't like this person, you can't stand this person, but you're trapped aren't you? If you had been vigiliant you might have crossed the street and escaped them, but you were daydreaming about shoes and now look, you're trapped with them.
Know what I'm talking about?
Maybe you don't, but that's what I thought last night. I was lying there, I was awake, I was trying to remember what the doc said, I was trying to remember what Monstee said, no reading, check, no bright lights, not too hot, not too cold. Okay breathe. Hey why am I thinking about how much work I"ve got on? And why am I sure I can hear Toffee snoring in her basket? Where did that daddy longlegs go? What if it lands in my mouth when I"m alseep. Hey this is weird, it's famililiar. I'm ...oh no...oh no not you...Insomnia? Is that you? Oh my, yes you're looking great! I almost didn't recognise you there for a moment. Really that's great, listen I better go, now I"ve got to...hum?
And then I was stuck there. I mean I got up, I tried 'doing stuff' but it felt stupid and I knew I was only kidding myself, I thought I might be getting tired...
Insomnia was waiting when I went back to bed, cheery, one foot swinging.
'So, Cat, how's you mum? Still driving each other up the wall? I like your digs here, I'm thinking about moving in. It will be cool, kind of like a giant pyjama party, won't that be fun? We can tell each other our deepest darkest secrets. Say, is that a daddy longlegs? Hope he doesn't fly into our mouths when we finally close our eyes. This is great, oooooh we're gong to have such fun. I've been dying to see you for ages you know, did you change number or something? I mean I was trying to get hold of you and I'd almost given up, then last week I tried it again and I was like wow, it's ringing...'
Argh.
Sleep, it's overrated isn't it? Luckily I don't seem to need that much, well I"m exhausted, but I'm awake...so I mustn't need much, right? Right?
You know when you're walking down the street and someone says 'hey, hey remember me?' And you're all like, 'erm...well hi there.' But you haven't a single clue who the person is, but they're faintly familiar, then as they keep talking to you, asking how you are and how's the family, are you still in the same line of work... after a while a creeping realisation works its way up your spine. You do remember this person, you do, but you also remember that you don't like this person, you can't stand this person, but you're trapped aren't you? If you had been vigiliant you might have crossed the street and escaped them, but you were daydreaming about shoes and now look, you're trapped with them.
Know what I'm talking about?
Maybe you don't, but that's what I thought last night. I was lying there, I was awake, I was trying to remember what the doc said, I was trying to remember what Monstee said, no reading, check, no bright lights, not too hot, not too cold. Okay breathe. Hey why am I thinking about how much work I"ve got on? And why am I sure I can hear Toffee snoring in her basket? Where did that daddy longlegs go? What if it lands in my mouth when I"m alseep. Hey this is weird, it's famililiar. I'm ...oh no...oh no not you...Insomnia? Is that you? Oh my, yes you're looking great! I almost didn't recognise you there for a moment. Really that's great, listen I better go, now I"ve got to...hum?
And then I was stuck there. I mean I got up, I tried 'doing stuff' but it felt stupid and I knew I was only kidding myself, I thought I might be getting tired...
Insomnia was waiting when I went back to bed, cheery, one foot swinging.
'So, Cat, how's you mum? Still driving each other up the wall? I like your digs here, I'm thinking about moving in. It will be cool, kind of like a giant pyjama party, won't that be fun? We can tell each other our deepest darkest secrets. Say, is that a daddy longlegs? Hope he doesn't fly into our mouths when we finally close our eyes. This is great, oooooh we're gong to have such fun. I've been dying to see you for ages you know, did you change number or something? I mean I was trying to get hold of you and I'd almost given up, then last week I tried it again and I was like wow, it's ringing...'
Argh.
23 Comments:
Be thankful you're not in Seattle. Tom Hanks would be trying to ride you.
Hang in there FMC! It may take while to get pills out of you system, but when you body remembers how to go to sleep on it's own, it will be SOOOOoooo good sleep.
Blee Twenty. By the way, you free for a pint later?
I'm hanging by my bloody fingernails Monstee.
I'm exhausted just reading that!
Hope you get some sleep soon
Thanks Kim, I'm resisting the urge to nap, I figure if I stay awake until bedtime I will just pass out naturally. That's the plan anyway...
I'm always free for a pint.
if it makes you rest easier, that statistic about swallowing 8 spiders a year while you're sleeping is an urban legend. 5-6 is more like it.
hang in there! your body will adjust.
and if it doesn't, you can always make an emergency run to barcelona.
Ohh Finn, bleeee. I don't need to run to BCN neither, I have about 100 Dormidina in a box in the bedroom. I even took them out to look at them last night, but I said 'Nay!" and put them back. Cold turkey, it's the great leveller. Be it smoking, drinking or eating cake.
cold turkey on smoking, drinking or cake? what sort of pathetic creature would do that??
Spouse swears by progressive muscle relaxation, where you start at your toes and work your way up slooooowly, telling your muscles to relax. I myself found it useful only once, but hey, it's worth a shot.
Wish I had something to recommend...sounds like your system needs to adjust to the lack of sleeping pills. Once it does, Monstee is right, it'll be great...but it may take as long to wean yourself off of them as you were actually taking them.
3 bloody years?! Say that ain't so...I'll go stark raving mad. I"m already acting like a clumsy uneventempered spaced out trolley today. How bloomin' long does it take to wean of something anyway? Ah shit, isn't there at least one docky apart from Maroon in our group who can answer that?
I wish I could help you out. I don't know the answer but I'm with Andraste and Monstee - stick it out if you possibly can.
Establishing a routine might help, so I've read, strictly the same bed-time, getting up time etc. Insomnia is the pits, I wish I had something more useful to add other than to pick up a copy of "Your Fridge: 7004 Surprising Technical Details". Best of luck tonight, sweetie-pie.
please don't fret, FMC -- this too shall pass. trust your body to level out.
meanwhile, you need a smaller, venial vice to tide you over in this time of need. shoes, perhaps?
Self hypnosis tapes work. You can listen in bed. Find one that suits your imagination. There is one where you are on an island, on a warm, sandy beach with the waves lapping against the shore, birds twittering in the waving palms and the scent of oleander wafting past your nostrils.....zzzzzzzzzzz You surrender and relax. Worked well on me on a long BA flight to Japan.
A Hot Bath always works for me, especially if I'm wound up. I'm not so sure a nap would throw you off you know, they say a well rested child sleeps better at night, being overtired makes it harder to fall asleep.
Hope you get some rest soon.
PS: I've been on my hollydays for 5 weeks, I wasn't ignoring you or any other blog, just internet free-ish.
Hi Fmc,
Been lurking but thought I would stick my nose in, this post being slightly safer ground than fake orgasms!
Hang in there, don't go back on the pills. It'll probably take about 3 weeks for your body/brain to stop looking for chemical intervention. After that it could take a few months to settle back into a natural sleep pattern, but it won't be as bad as you're going through at the moment.
If you can't sleep get up and do something, read, housework, whatever. Avoiding naps is ok but sometimes give in and let your body recharge. It's a balancing act.
No tea or coffee after about 3pm unless it's decaff and even then limit that. Don't eat too late. Cut back on alcohol (very painful!)A glass of fresh orange juice topped up with warm/hot water about an hour before bed is good. Horlicks works for some people as well.
Sam is right about establishing a routine but you may have to adjust that as your body re-establishes it's own levels.
I'm not a doctor, but if the problem persists for more than a couple of weeks go see one and get a referral to someone that knows what they are talking about, GP's are well intentioned but not necessarily well informed.
You'll get there, you have the strength of character needed!:)
Oh Boliath, I'm so sick jealous of you right now...Where were you? Venice? Paris? Barcelona? Eeeee.
Thank you all so very much for the advice and-more importantly- even caring that a rum scarfing pillpopping hussy like me gets through this cold turkey. I appreciate it all, I really do.
Alright fatcat, calm down, I can do this, so what if not sleeping is right up there with cheap courtshoes. I won't be donig the nap thing thought, I can't nap at all, it's either flat out or nothing.
I am eating fish n' chips right now and that's making me feel almost angelic.
Although I like the sound of that tape...years ago I used to fall asleep when ever the SennaSeaLink Ferry advert came on. It was like chloroform to me. I'm waffling and the pup is chewing through the tv cable. I"m rather enjoying having the dog now, she is very funny and plays a mean game of hide and seek.
How're you doing tonight?
Loved the bit about the daddy-long-legs! Seeing a spider anywhere in my bedroom is guaranteed to keep me up at night.
Bit better Sam, fell asleep about midnight and slept fairly well until six or so. So I"m definitely not complaining.
Margaret, welcome! Yes, most worrisome, I let him out this morning. Stupid insects those Daddylonglegs, daft as a brush.
Thanks Kim, I'm resisting the urge to nap, I figure if I stay awake until bedtime I will just pass out naturally.
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