Sunday, September 10, 2006

Thongs...


I"m not against them, every gal should have a few knocking around their underwear drawer for form fitting clothes or pale trousers. They can be very practial. But having said that I DON"T WANT TO SEE A WHALE TAIL INCHES FROM MY NOSE WHEN I'M BUYING A COPY OF THE TIMES ON A SUNDAY MORNING!!
I was minding my own business and checking that The Culture was inside the main paper when this girl squatted down in front of me and started to look through the papers and what did she shove in my face? Why a giant whale tail. Thin bands of over stretched cotton cutting through rolls of fat inches from my nose. Naturally to top it off she had a celtic tramp stamp above of the crack of her ample arse.
Double whammy.
Ladies, wear whatever underwear pleases you, but it's UNDERwear. Got that? Goes under your clothes.
Under.

26 Comments:

Anonymous Annie said...

Amen, FMC. Ditto for bra straps on display. I was in New York City last weekend and I saw a woman (a wanna-be model, no less) wearing a backless top with a standard issue, non-backless bra. Classy. That's exactly what I expect to see in the pages of Vogue. What was she thinking?

12:58 p.m.  
Blogger Dr Maroon said...

whale tails disappearing down big bottoms, butterfly tattoos, chubby midriffs, bra straps, I lovem ALL.

I'm a letch, I admit it.

In fact that's not quite true, unfortunately. There was a group of girls in the pub yesterday, a bit jolly, probably a little bit like the above description, and to my dismay I realised that I was looking at them with an almost scientific detachment.

I got in a round later on though, and the barmaid who was a bit older was quite friendly and that.
'Ohoh!' I thought, 'You're in there boy!'
In that momment I realised my place along life's timeline.
Jesus! I DO need a drink.

1:24 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Of course you need a drink, a hair of the dog that bit you will soon see you right. I"m have at least two before the Paramour and his delightful non combative family arrive here for lunch.
Vile Annie, simply vile. I blame that Demi Moore.

4:02 p.m.  
Blogger Monstee said...

Me saw girl one time that wore her underthings on outside of her clothes! Me kid you NOT! On the OUTSIDE. It was one of the dumbest things me ever see... but me guess it was some sort of fad or something what was going round. This girl was in entertainment business and was singing some song bout being virgin or something... but me not really think she was.

5:57 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

She was probably a really good actress as well.

11:10 a.m.  
Anonymous eoin said...

David McSavage had a great line about this type of thing; "Fat girls, who dress like they're beautiful", but then he is the bitterest man in Dublin. Like Doccy most men love it, even if the girl is a heifer she might have great tits, and in any case it's no skin off anyone's nose.

Oddly enough it's women who tend to make the cruel comments and act all outraged as if these girls were marching around in Waffen SS uniforms rather than ill advised miniskirts.

2:57 p.m.  
Blogger finn said...

such things are just begging to be snapped, like our training bra straps in 6th grade.

5:53 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

There is nothing sexier than a woman with nice curves wearing nice clothing that fit her properly and accentuate her figure, nothing. But this was nothing like that. This was crude, vulgar, common as muck and less than five inches from my nose.
And don't feed that line about cruel comments into the mix, I don't want to see the crack of anyone's flabby arse on a Sunday morning, be they man or woman.

5:58 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

And she wasn't in a mini, she was in a track suit with letters across her bottom. That stopped on her hips and the thong was pulled a good two inches above that. It was disgusting.
Hi Finn, feeling better?

6:00 p.m.  
Anonymous eoin said...

Sorry FMC, didn't mean to imply that you were one of those women who make bitchy remarks disguised as high minded social commentary, although that was unclear from my comment. I’m actually a huge fan of your writing and your heart is clearly in the right place. My comment was more inspired by a night out last weekend with a few Polish people, they kept going on about how fat all Irish girls are and how they have only themselves to blame if something happens to them when they dress like hookers.
It really pissed me off

5:08 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

My social group consists of gadding about with a slick of Italians, a few Spanish, a lone Norwegian, a Frenchie, two Swedes, a bevy of English folk and a wallop of Irish. And I can assure you, if even one of my peer group started that line of patter around me they'd get slapped upside the head. You were right to be pissed off and I hope you said so.
Why, that would be like me saying every Polish man looked like a translucent flat headed Cleetus, and I would never say such a thing!

5:22 p.m.  
Anonymous eoin said...

Actually there wasn't a peep out of me. "No skin off my nose" cuts both ways. Plus I never get into arguments when I'm drunk as I always lose, even if the other person is saying that black is white.

I did make a sarcastic remark but they took it at face value and agreed strongly with me.

3:02 p.m.  
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