Thursday, October 05, 2006

Prince Muthaf*kcin' Charming!

Oh my, the man who sang 'You Sexy motherfucker' '52 positions in a one night stand' has gone from 'get on top' to 'Put on your top.'
Pint sized lothario, Prince, squiggle highheeled wearing slave multinamed Prince again, singer dancer showman and now Jehovah's Witness, offered scantily-clad club dancers double their wages to STOP gyrating on stage.

The pint-sized star — who used to use girls in his own sexy stage act — told the dancers they should be “ashamed” of themselves.

And according to an onlooker at top Hollywood nightspot Xenii he added: “What would your parents think if they could see you now? It’s wrong to dance like that.

“You’re too good for this. You shouldn’t be selling yourself so cheap.”

But instead of stopping, the girls told the star: “We need the money.”
When he was told he offered them twice as much to stop.

But the girls turned him down, saying they needed to work EVERY night. The witness added: “He seemed seized by religious fervour. He lectured the girls as soon as he saw them on the podiums.”

Prince, 48 — who also now shuns alcohol — gave up pleading, sat at a table and turned his head away from the girls.

He is a regular at the celebrity haunt, but always asks DJs not to play songs containing swearing during his visits.

A regular said: “No one knows why he comes here. He doesn’t drink, doesn’t like the music and now doesn’t like the dancers.”

I hate to read things like this. It makes my morning chillier than I like it, as the cold hand of ageing tickles my earlobes and says 'See see that'll be you any day 'ere, do you like the taste of Complan yet? What 'bout comfortable shoes?'
Aieeeeee! Back fiend.
I like my rockers to rock until they overdose, choke on their own vomit, fall out of palm trees or crash their inappropriate cars into very large trees or hang themselves from doorknobs while engaging in risky sex.
It's torture watching previously cool badass muthafuckers swap the chain mailmask for the beige cardie of righteousness (BCR)
What's next, Fiddy Cent stops holding his crotch and offering to smack people upside the head?
I'm so sick of it all, I blame Bowie myself, Parump a bum bum indeed.
I going to put on 'When Doves cry' and do some sniffling all of my own.


Blogger P1P said...

WHAT? I am not happy about this.


Stop paying the ladies to stop dancing you pint sized maggot

11:53 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Yeah! And get back to making hip music you little hobbit. Funky, smutty hot and heavy music. Leave telling folk what to do to the fundies.

12:04 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prince? More like Ponce.

12:07 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

What is it? Age? Sudden fear of mortality? What? This man spends most of his life fornicating with gusto and having a ball and creating sexy music and then wap. Now he's making pissy faces over scantily clad dancers? It's just plain wrong I tells ya.
If this is what relligion does to a body I want no part of it.
Down with that sort of thing.

12:37 p.m.  
Blogger SheBah said...

His problem in two words, FMC - erectile dysfunction. Makes a man begrudge others carnal pleasures!

12:51 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a complete mong. How can he live with the hypocrisy?

1:02 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Indeed, he completely fuckered up my morning. I had to listen to Minstry of Sound Club classics all morning to get over it.
Fortunately I'm all tapped out now.

1:35 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

I find this pretty funny. I never liked the litte ponce in the first place, always thought he was overrated musically and about as sexy as the flu. The ugly little maggot.

But, like any zealot, whatever he's into at the moment is what everybody ELSE should also take to heart.

I often say there's a difference between being repressed and being a prude.

A repressed person isn't comfortable with all that sex stuff. A prude doesn't want anybody else to be comfortable with it either.

2:25 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

He was a VELLY important part of my eighties. I distintly remember dancing at a disco and snogging the face of some chap to 'why do they scream at each other..this is what it sounds like whn doves cry...'
The boy tasted of Wrigley's chewing gum and he gave me beard rash. Sigh.
I won't even bother to tell you what I did to 'Kayley', by Marillion, it was terrible and I had a sticky hand which I had to wipe on damp grass. Vile.

3:04 p.m.  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Prince is mince.

5:35 p.m.  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Prince is a dog's name too, while squiggle is just a wanker's name.

5:37 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Damn straight. I mean what the hell was that symbol supposed to represent any road?
The artist formerly known as prince and is known as prince again...sod that.

5:53 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He found Jesus. He's now a Jehovah’s Witness. I saw him in concert a few years ago-one of the best shows I’ve seen- and although he sang some of his older songs, he changed the lyrics. It was a tad disappointing, truth be told. Still, a great show nonetheless.

6:12 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

He does have it, too be sure.

7:02 p.m.  
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