Thursday, September 20, 2007

Buying New Jeans.




Hahahaha, oh bleaugh. Whale ahoy! These are really awful and a big cheery cheers to Jezebel for making me laugh out loud on this sodden morning. And double bleaugh to the belly ring.
These vile jeans notwithstanding, buying jeans in ireland is turning into an increasingly difficult affair. I started last Satdee and I have yet to lay my paws on a pair. I went al over Dundrum shopping centre the other day and nowt, I did manage to snap up a pretty nice winter coat and a super nice pencil skirt, but not jeans.
Why? Because they're vile. The cuts are vile, the styles are vile. I'm 34, I don't want jeans that barely cover my bottom crack, I want jeans to at least come over my hips. I don't like 'spangly' things on my pockets, I don't want any more skinny jeans, I don't want distressed, I can do that myself in the space of a year or two. I don't want stiff denim, I don't want grey, I don't want coloured denim, I don't want the pockets to be under my bottom ( that's a really big thing over here right now for some reason, how the hell am I supposed to carry my George Costanza sized wallet about in that?) I don't want loose cut, I don't want flares, I don't want jeans that trail on the ground behind me, I don't want high waisted MOM jeans, I don't want jeans that are roomy, I don't want jeans that are that bit too short, I want them to be on my boots, on them with about half and inch of cover. I really don't want jeans without belt loops and I hate hate hate, I"m using the word Hate here Melvin, jeans with no pockets on the back at all!
I just want a pair of jeans that are boot cut, denim coloured, slim in the legs, COVER my hips and the crack of my bottom, and have pockets where pockets are supposed to go and are the exact right length. Now why should that be so hard?
Levi 529's where the hell are ya?

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113 Comments:

Anonymous Nonny said...

Morning, a very hungover me greets you. I rarely buy clothes in Dublin but did you go into BT2?, I love the real Diesel jeans, not the cheap shite, the real ones that are about 240-300 dollars. The sizes go in ones, not two’s. They go straight down, whilst I like skinny jeans and have numerous pairs of them your wardrobe needs some real jeans. And if like me you have no ass the good people at Diesel will provide one for you. And they are so soft, that a biggie cause I don’t like anything that’s hard. If your budget is more modest (that being if you are in the “we pay our mortgage and we are proud” gang) Topshop do a good selection.

10:11 a.m.  
Blogger gimme a minute said...

Oh jesus. $240-300 for a pair of jeans.

If your budget is more modest (that being if you are in the “we pay our mortgage and we are proud” gang

It's like everything you say is designed to wind me up, it really is.

Would you mind listing some of the other 'gangs'?

How about the 'we struggle to pay the rent because we can't afford a mortgage and most likely never will and therefore the idea of spending more than one hundred euro on any single item of clothing is a little obscene to us' gang?

See, it's catchy too.

10:23 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I"ll give it another gander on Friday since I've a sodding meeting in town.
I"m usually a big fan of Diesel myself, but lately their cuts haven't been terrific either. I don't mind paying decent money for jeans becaue I keep them for years and years so I consider it good value. The jeans I am currently replacing are in year seven now. (although they wouldn't look out of place in a early Bon Jovi video such are the holes in them)

10:25 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

When it comes to clothes it all depends Gimmie, I know folk that go out and buy stuff on a weekly basis, and wear it five or six times and then that's it. They have wardrobes stuffed to the gills with stuff, so much clothes they don't even know what they have.

(I'M LOOKING AT YOU ETHELINE!)

I"d rather pay a bit more for my clothes and wear them until they fall off my body, which the Jeans I'm trying to replace really are. Believe it or not you save money in the long run.
( I actually get that from my mother, although it pains me to say that)

10:32 a.m.  
Anonymous Nonny said...

Gimme I was joking about the gangs, I do pay my mortgage but at this stage it is only small. I like quality and work my ass off so I can damn well buy what I like and I do not feel guilty and would rather pay for someething that looks and lasts better than cheap clothes that go out of shape when you wash them.

Miss Cat I am like that as well, I keep jeans for years, they are like a mattress or something. They mold around you. Perhaps that’s why we hate buying new ones, we are so used to the ones we have.

10:39 a.m.  
Blogger Gaye said...

I am a new kid in the block and haven't discovered good places to go for clothes shopping in Dublin. All I know is Dublin is quite expensive. Grrr.
I am in Ranelagh and where would be BT2, Topshop, Diesel stores closest to me, any idea?
It's about time I explore shops, and jot good ones down.

10:43 a.m.  
Blogger Gaye said...

And those jeans are hideous, I never liked the underwear worn like it's on the outside kind of clothes, yuck.
There was even a song named something like underpants stay on the inside, or close to it, can't remember.

10:44 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

BT2's in on the right side of Grafton Street as you go down, and Top shop is on the Green, across from the taxi-rank. It used to be Habitat. I think there's a bigger one in Jervis Street.
Those jeans are pretty rank, and there was a really weird pair in Zara the other day too, with a kind of jersey cumberband? Terrible, just terrible.

10:47 a.m.  
Anonymous eva said...

Crikey!
Or should that be crack?
I wonder what happens when you sit down in those jeans?
Awful stuff, but pretty entertaining ;)
I haven't bought a pair of jeans for years, like you I wear mine until they more or less fall off. I also go for quality rather than quantity and I don't mind spending money on the RIGHT ones. They are few and far in between, a rare breed...

10:52 a.m.  
Anonymous Nonny said...

Top shop facing Stephens Green is their flagship store and possibly their best one!

10:58 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Eva, that's why their so bloody hard to find. They must be perfect or no one is getting a cent off me.

10:59 a.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

it was only a matter of time before the whole thong-exposing thing got to this level...
funny tho.

11:02 a.m.  
Blogger Rusticissimus maximus said...

Those jeans were obviously couture. After all, NOBODY is in good enough shape to wear something like that except mannikins.

11:09 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Rusty, you have that right. Really low rise jeans on the fuller figure is not a good look, it really isn't. And combined with a too short top it REALLY is not a good look. I wish folk would learn that.
Muffin tops are not sexy.

11:21 a.m.  
Anonymous Primal Sneeze said...

Where do they sell those VILE jeans? They are terrible! I would never dream of buying them for herself. Never. Not in a million years.

So, what's the name of the shop? Just curious like. That's all. Nothing to do with her birthday next week or anything.

12:25 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Pepe shop, Dundrum shopping centre. Knock yourself out Toots.

12:28 p.m.  
Blogger Ted said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

12:50 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

I've been bitching about this jeans thing for a while. But then I just decided to ride out the bad trend for a while, and just buy men's Levis 505's, get them tapered just a smidge (since they're men's jeans, the leg opening is the same size as the thigh and that's NOT flattering - so to make them look like a women's straight leg, the tapering is necessary.)

Then, when the market swings back towards the UNFUGLY, I'll find a brand, cut, style, color that I like and buy about 30 pairs, so they'll last until I die.

12:57 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I swear to no peel marmalade I'm going to do the very same thing the moment I find the right pair, Andraste. That way I won't ever have to go through this again. And why oh WHY are changing rooms in shops so bloody hot?

1:22 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

Do you have JCrew over there? It's an American largely preppy chain and it's a good place for jeans. They have a bunch of different cuts, but the Matchstick jean is a great cut. It's slim but not skinny in the leg and the rise covers my hips, and all in a dark rinse. For $80.00. I was talking to a woman in the dog park about them because we had on the same pair. There is sanity out there in the world of denim.

1:26 p.m.  
Anonymous Nonny said...

if they are 80 dollar where you are at they will probably be 250 euro here. I'm going to Boston & NYC in a couple of weeks i'll have a look out for them.

1:35 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Fear not! Help is at hand.
Country Gay and I are going to go on an expedition to the Kildare outlet village-
http://www.kildarevillage.com/kildare/home.asp
He claims they have just about everything there and I believe him since he got himself a gorgeous Ralph Lauren zip up cardi for one bloody third the original price, the luckysuckershopper.

1:48 p.m.  
Anonymous Nonny said...

I was there last week, the one just off the Motorway in Kildare town? Emm hmm went down to collect my car and i liked it, they could do with a few more shops but they had a sale thing on in ralph lauren, didn't look at jeans as I was buying pots for yes I am a loser!

2:03 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

That's the place.

2:13 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

What keeps those jeans on? Please explain!

To take up where Gimme left off...

Dunnes.

There, that wasn't so hard was it? Stopped shuddering yet?

3:14 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

ahahahahahahah, Oh Conan, you are a one and no doubt.
Listen here, I'm no clothing snob, I will quite happily sit about for days on end-and indeed I do- wrapped quite comfortably in fleece from that very store, but jeans Conan, jeans are different.

So are shoes, but that goes without saying.

3:34 p.m.  
Anonymous Shebah said...

Conan, conan - don't be a philistine! Dunnes! Which would you honestly prefer:
A) beautiful woman shrouded in overall style jean that doesn't touch anywhere and looks like sack or
b) Designer denim that kisses every curve it touches, fits snugly around thighs, caressing pert bum, showing it off to best advantage?

3:38 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Now Missus, so you've not been in Dunnes lately... or not looked at the jeans there? I'm only saying go see.

Shebah, you may have left out a critical bit of your (a) or (b) choice... so I'm obviously going to opt for (a) since at least it promises a beautiful woman, albeit shrouded in a sack like garment. :)

3:48 p.m.  
Blogger gimme a minute said...

I have a pair of twelve euro jeans from Penneys that do all of the above, Shebah.

Although, the first time I bent over they did rip fairly dramatically about the crotchal area.

But really, they're pertastic!

3:51 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Ginnie, I think we should be the judge of that, perhaps a photo or two...

3:54 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

oh christ, I mean GIMMIE, not Ginnie. Ginnie reminds me of that lady from the Sopranos and I don't want to think of her showing her bottom anytime soon.

3:55 p.m.  
Blogger gimme a minute said...

I think only Nasa have a lense big enough to take a photo of my arse, Fatmammycat.

Pert, yes. But ample. Very ample.

4:35 p.m.  
Anonymous Shebah said...

Gimmie - I thought you were a bloke! If you are, I second FMC's request - photo, please - and let us be the judge of the size details!

4:38 p.m.  
Blogger gimme a minute said...

I'm going to set Medbh on you, Shebah. Us blokes can be pert too, you know.

Don't let the patriarchy tell you otherwise.

4:47 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Yes, down with the pertriarchy!

5:01 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

And no one's answered my question... What keeps those jeans on? Please explain!

5:05 p.m.  
Blogger Willie_W said...

My missus, Herself, is also exercised by the down south direction of jeans these days. Her daughter informed her that in Debenhams in The Square, Tallaght -- that which used to be Roches Stores and is still subdivided into lots of little islands of savagely-staffed nation-state boutiques from dem ol' days -- sell "proper" jeans. They come up past the hips, they don't have spangly bits, and they don't cost a packet. Red Line Luas to Tallaght terminus... Level 1 of The Square 200 yds away (lowest level)... turn left after going down the travelator. And there's an excellent bakery beside it to help you fill out the new jeans a bit more if you fancy a cream cake celebration.

6:28 p.m.  
Anonymous Common Law said...

Conan - It looks as though what may be keeping her jeans on is her body's desire to absorb anything with some kind of nutritional value even if it has to be though her skin.

7:10 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

She needs a good bacon sammich for sure Common Law.
WILLIE! Top of the evening to you. I shall happily take a look, please say thank you to your good lady for me.

7:21 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

My husband's ass is round and pert from all the cycling. A gay friend of mine called it "sublime" and it is.
Wink.
I saw stonewashed demin in a department store while looking for jeans for him and I stepped back in horror.

8:05 p.m.  
Anonymous Pinkie said...

There was a girl who worked in a coffee shop I frequent in town and she used to wear these jeans and thongs. I dont know if she had a REALLY round arse and hips - the curve of her arse seemed to start somewhere around the 4th vertebrae - or whether it was teh cut of jeans but man! you cuoldn't help but look at her arse. And the thong. The thong that is about as high as her belly button.

For feck's sake!

I like my loose fitting jeans I'm afraid though.

9:06 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

mmmmsublime bottomsssssssss, I do like a pert botty. I really do.
Stone wash acid wash snow wash, vile viile hella vile. Quite right that you stepped back, they could ahve burned the style clean out of your very hands.
Pinkie dahling, you were affronted by tail whale, a most difficult beast to avert your eyes from I'm afraid, my condolances.

9:17 p.m.  
Blogger Annie Rhiannon said...

Exactly. Cheering you on wildly over here. I want the exact same jeans as you, if you find some let me know.

I did find some pretty comfy jeans in River Island once, they were just a little too low cut, rather than too low cut. But still, meh.

9:34 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Will do Toots.

9:55 a.m.  
Blogger English Mum said...

Hello. You're obviously a woman after my own heart. I'm with you on the jeans. There was a girl serving in River Island the other day with the biggest muffin top I have ever seen. And a belly ring nestled in the flab too. Ew. I like 7 jeans. Were expensive but had them for donkey's and like you say, you tend to wear jeans for ages. Let us know how you get on.

5:01 p.m.  
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