Monday, July 07, 2008

Horny Uppity Bitches cause Downward Shrinking Dog.


At least according to the Indo.
Observe.
"Predatory women are destroying the sexual confidence of young men in Ireland - with some men as young as 20 now turning to Viagra to prop up their flagging libido."

Oh my! In the jungle the mighty jungle the boy men sleep tonight.
The rest of the article is here.

I read this and immediately visualised a group of chaps all huddled about like meercats, nervously glancing thither and yon. I mean aw shucks fellas, I didn't know it was so hard out there for a man. I mean one minute you're innocently enjoying a pint with your mates, discussing gardening and politics and football next you're all running for cover as vicious predatory damp-fannied Amazonian women come head and mickey hunting. It must be VELLY frightening indeed.
Bitches! Everyone knows men aren't into casual sex. They want to be wined and dined first, I bet when those hussies do throw the leg over they don't even bother staying the night do they? Poor guys. And being expected to have sex on demand is one thing, but being expected to have good sex on demand? I bet you have to fake it. I bet you lie there after wondering what the hell THAT was all about. Damn them! Damn them for seeking their own hateful gratification. I mean it's just not cricket! And how awful that they're forcing you into these situations, overpowering you like that. It's just not right. You know they're comparing notes too, right? Oh yes, sorry to say, they're definitely comparing notes.
I suppose you could just say 'no' and have a dribble of self respect, but then I understand- from the article- that saying no to these fevered hellions is not an option. Hmm, They must REALLY be all powerful. Viking hordes to your innocent riverside peasant.
I feel for you, I really do.
And don't bother glancing at the phone, she's not going to call. And she won't be returning any of the fifteen messages you left neither. See... come closer, you've already slept with her, she's sampled your goodies. I know you'd had a few, I know she wanted it, I know she was full of compliments and hot passion, but now she just thinks you're easy and frankly a bit of a slut. When she does settle down she wants to bag herself a virgin, or as near as, or at least someone who she can safely say hasn't slept with half the women she knows.
Sorry.
Love and smoochies, the non threatening kind.
FMC

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31 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha ha that was damn funny!

You know I hear the lads moaning of late about how up our own arse us Irish women have become and how we won't entertain their drunking advances. So women are no longer willing to put up with men who won't make an effort, well done to them, that is the surest sign of equality I've seen in quite a while.

Nonny

9:49 a.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

I saw 'Indo' there somewhere, didn't I?

10:03 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

On a serious note, yes times they "are a changin" for sure.
Just because some men have never had control over their penis and treat women like shit, does not make it acceptable for some women to do the same.

This generalisation of what is now expected of young men and young women has serious consequences and I believe has contributed in part to the high suicide rates in young people. The pressure to "be like the others" is intense.

So, while I find your post amusing FMC, there is also a serious side to this issue.

10:13 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahh come on now dude it seems to me it is jus fair game. Things have evened out.

Nonny

10:20 a.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

psssst... down here! psssst... pssst... "horny uppity bitches".... where they at?

10:24 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Break for the Border I hear.
Anonymous, of course it's not acceptable for people to treat people like crap, but I'm more taking the piss of of the Indo than anything else, and their usual cack handed scare-mongering.
And also if you could just put some kind of name to your post, it makes it easier to tell posters apart.
Nonny- quite. Now everyone is behaving badly, or so it seems.

10:36 a.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

I hate it when you just cant get a pint and quiet chat with your mates without "predatory damp-fannied Amazonian women" rubbing themselves up against you and making all sorts of lewd suggestions. It just sickens me. The hot ones are even worse - writhing about in their short skirts and lacey tops, showing their tight bodies and back-dimples...

*drool*

11:24 a.m.  
Blogger morgor said...

"Damp-fannied amazonians" is an excellent phrase; you should patent it.

11:35 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Seriously, it's OUTACONTROL. Next thing those brassy ball raiders will be bringing their own poles to slide down as they hustle and torment those poor chaps huddled and cowering behind their flat pints...It's NOT RIGHT!

12:06 p.m.  
OpenID grimsaburger said...

"Destroying the sexual confidence of young men in Ireland," eh?
Sounds like progress to me.

I'm no world traveler or anything, but between the US, Italy, and Ireland, I've never been groped in public like I've been groped in public in Ireland by 20-year-old "men."

12:32 p.m.  
Blogger jothemama said...

Heh. EXCEPT: what happens when hte Wes generation reach their late teens and twenties? After all the snowballing and wearing of the knickers on the wrists, where will they have to go from there?

There's a lot to debate about such an article - one is women being villified for acting on their sexual urges - which are championed in men and villified as perverse in women.
And as you say, the other is everyone treating everyone else badly. Equality was never meant to mean everyone being equally crap, was it? How did that happen!

Men should be equal to women, it works better that way ;)

12:37 p.m.  
Blogger morgor said...

There's a lot to debate about such an article - one is women being villified for acting on their sexual urges - which are championed in men and villified as perverse in women.

Well there is a valid reason why people (usually women) are harsher on promiscuous women than promiscuous men.

12:59 p.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

Whats the reason morgor?

2:14 p.m.  
Blogger morgor said...

sorry didn't mean to be quite so . . . coy.

The reason would be because they are the ones who have to lug around a baby for 9 months if they get pregnant.

Men (the not-so-nice ones) can piss off whenever.

So I guess its like men can ditch their responsibities but women can't unless they get an abortion.

So due to nature, they have to be more careful than men.

2:27 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

This is the part that shows you the real agenda behind the doctor's work:

"There should be some element of the chase and there certainly should be some element that they fancy the girl and they should certainly know her. But unfortunately the natural order of things is being side-tracked."

She's clinging to the patriarchal playbook (cast as the natural order) wherein men are the hunters who chase women. It's straight up bullshit. She's pathologizing women who want to have consequence free sex of their own volition. And where are these fabled 19 and 20 year-old men who can't cope? It's a fucking lie or gross exaggeration. And so is the legion of women she mythologizes who are running around demanding intercourse. This sound like the doctor has been watching too much "Sex and the City" and thinks it has turned women into Samantha.

2:31 p.m.  
Anonymous The Bad Ambassador said...

Too right FMC!

All I'm asking for is a little cuddle afterwards.

Is it too much to ask for a woman who, rather than lapse into a post-coital coma, will gently caress my shoulder and murmur words of love and affection?

2:50 p.m.  
Anonymous problemchildbride said...

"In the jungle the mighty jungle the boy men sleep tonight"

The doctor makes Dublin sound more like the open Savannah!

It's refreshing to see that women no longer feel they need to be demure and coy and passive and "feminine" when it comes to the business of courtship. The point's been made that men and women now act as badly as each other but where's the fun in that?

There's liberty of a sort for both sexes that way, sure, but the most important sexual organ (and the biggest!) is the brain adn it's a poor sort of sex if the purple patch on your brain hardly gets a chance to recognise what room you're in. People can rub their bits together all they like but sooner or later they'll realise they're missing out on the main course and a diet of just starters and puddings doesn't seem so satisfying any more.

True liberty will come when the roles of courter and courted depend on personality and not gender.

3:16 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

All this talk of sex and puddings has me ravenous. The paramour will be home soon, I can't decide whether to eat him or ravage him senseless. Maybe both. Then I'll tell him to get his knickers on and make me a cup of tea. Yeah!

5:56 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Of course there's always the possibility that he might tell me to go get stuffed, but if he gets uppity I'll print out that article and REMIND him that it's a jungle out there. A JUNGLE.

5:57 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

That's hilarious, FMC.
I'm sure he'll be happy enough to be ravaged and then make you dinner.

8:00 p.m.  
Blogger gimme a minute said...

Although he might need a little nap first.

10:09 p.m.  
Blogger jothemama said...

You're living in an idyll, FMC. Chips, 11 hours of sleep, ravagement - If it wasn't for all the excercise I'd envy your life! ;)

10:40 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Medbh, indeed he was. He appears to enjoy sexual stalking and Amazonian threatening.

Jo, Chips, BEER and ravaging, oh yeah baby, this cat has the cream.

Gimmie, napping is for woosesessss.

11:03 p.m.  
Blogger jothemama said...

That's right, I blocked out the beer.

I had several drinks on Friday, for the firs time in a long time, and the next day was at a drunken car boot sale, salivating over eveyone's beers in the sun. Quite the alcoholic urges I had. Perhaps the less beer the better for me...

11:45 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

damp fannied romanians, hate em

1:13 a.m.  
Anonymous problemchildbride said...

"He appears to enjoy sexual stalking and Amazonian threatening."

Oooh la la! Sort of like Cato from The Pink Panther, only with less clothes. Fatmammycato!

1:30 a.m.  
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