Friday, August 15, 2008

Happy Ginger Day!



...then Goldilocks leaped out of the cupboard with a blood curdling shriek and injected the unsuspecting landlord in the neck. As he sank to the ground he noticed Goldilocks was bollock naked and covered in marmalade, and he heard, 'and this little piggy was juuuuuuust right....' and then he blacked out...



Eek! I"m busy busy today, how very dare they! Don't they know I don't like to be bothered on Ginger day by things OTHER than ginger business.
Couple of things, on Monday, I'm embarking on my drive to run faster for the marathon. Ergo this will involve upping my training and so on. To up my training I will naturally need to....marmalade help me...knock the drinking on the head. (Hey, did anyone hear that crack of thunder?)
I've done this before, it's not the end of the world, but it does make me go funny, so if I sound odd over the next few weeks ignore me. It's just confusion and confrontations with looming reality. Every time I give up drinking my whole system goes haywire, I wake up early-unnatural. I eat less- unheard of. I am more productive-smugsome, I drop weight- welcome, I even- and I'm collie wobbled to write this- have more energy for doing stuff.. It never ceases to amuse me to notice that after a fortnight off any kind of hooch I feel rejuvenated.
Of course this never makes me think, 'Golly, maybe I ought not to drink ever, why I feel so gosh darned good.'
I never think that. I'm Irish, it's against the law not to drink. Plus I LIKE drinking.
Anyway, sacrifices must be made for the greater running good, and in this instance the beloved hooch has to go.
(gentle sobs)
Naturally this means Monday, and not today.
Stopping or starting things on a Friday causes a tear in the atmosphere, and nobody wants that. Things should only be ever be started or stopped on Mondays, that is my ONLY superstition-and I wouldn't even have that if it wasn't for the blasted Spaniard telling me so for so many years.
So this weekend is it until after marathon day. Yikes I say, yikes indeed. Anyone who might want to join this period of dry feel free to join in- but not Medbh, she's rocking the non smoking, and needs at least ONE vice.

Now, today's question, to which I've already yelled at the radio. Would you let your parents or parents-in-law move in with you as they got older?

71 Comments:

Blogger morgor said...

Of course this never makes me think, 'Golly, maybe I ought not to drink ever, why I feel so gosh darned good.'
I never think that. I'm Irish, it's against the law not to drink. Plus I LIKE drinking.


hahaha, even just not drinking from sunday til friday does that.
By friday you're feeling quite healthy thinking "wow, i feel so good, i'm gonna go out and get shit-faced, yay!".

It's unfortunate that drinking is so very much fun. it really does have quite a few negatives....

Anyway, to the question :

Very very reluctantly and only if I had a very large house and said parents were very pleasant and they had put a huge guilt trip on me.

10:56 a.m.  
OpenID bendersbetterbrother said...

To answer your question first, I know of no real life situation where that has ever worked. Perhaps if the house was large enough it could be notionally divided in two, that MIGHT work.

On the drinking... makes sense. I nearly don't drink at all now, on account of me wearing out my liver. Resting it now in the hope of recovery but the days of regular weekend blarges are gone forever. Had 2 or 3 glasses of red on 2 or 3 days on hols, nothing since. Off smokes too, 10 days ago.
Viceless ffs.

11:07 a.m.  
Blogger Lou said...

yay I can post! Yet another reason to like the iphone :-)
Actually I don't think I'd mind my parents moving in if the place was big enough. I did transition year and part of that involved community service at an old folks home. It was the most awful, soul crushing place I've ever been - the lonliness of some of those people was palpable, no visitors, alone in their rooms with only an indifferent nurse for occasional company. I went home the first day and swore to my parents that they'd never end up somewhere like that...

11:08 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn straight I would, they looked after me for long enough. The only circumstances I wouldn't let them move in would maybe if they went senile or some such and I had young children. Other than that I definitely would.

Good look with the dry training.

Nonny

11:15 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Morning folks, I'd let the paramour's pappy move but in only if I had enough room to build a granny flat, so that he had his own space and door and could come and go as he pleased. Other than that I would say no. I'd never let the Lilac Couch move in, ever, we'd kill each other within a week...day...hour.

Oh drink, I really do like it, but after a few weeks off it I do wonder just what in the hell.

Off smokes and drink BBB? I applaud you, well done.

Lou, they really are, but I suppose not everyone CAN take in a parent or parent in law. Poor old things though, that would break your heart.

11:16 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Cheers Nonny.

11:17 a.m.  
Anonymous eva said...

I'm already in mourning for the loss of your drinking.
Makes me sad.
Maybe I can drink your part during this time?
So that the undrunken hooch wouldn't feel left out. You must consider it's feelings and I'm willing to do this sacrifice for you.
As for the question, my immediate thought was 'never in a million' years.
But then I've never been faced with a situation like that so who the hell knows.

11:18 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Yes darling you may enjoy my portion of the hooch. Keep it warm and speak to it often. Tell it I'll be back in November.

11:26 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I suppose Mrs Cat that is really it, it would depend how well you get on with them. I always feel bad for old people who have worked all their lives, reared their familes and are then sent to a home. And to add insult to injury somethimes their house is sold, whilst they endure a home their kids enjoy their inheritance. That happened to two of my aunts. My mam has always said if we put her in a home we will not get a penny. No, I couldn't do that to my parents. My aunt comes home from London every year for about 6 weeks and stays with me, I love having her so I don't think I'd mind.

Nonny

11:31 a.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

Hmm, tough question FMC. Obviously I owe it to the parentals after partially rearing me, but it would be the very, very, very last resort and as everyone else said, I would need a majassive house / seperate granny flat.

11:35 a.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

btw - g'luck with the anti-hoochiness FMC.

11:36 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Cheers Sheepie, today's countdown to beer o'clock will be especially poignant.

11:38 a.m.  
Anonymous eva said...

...and oh how you will cherish tomorrow's hangover...

11:44 a.m.  
Anonymous eva said...

...and yes I promise to take good care of your hooch while you're away in Sober Land.
I will make sure the hooch gets to speak to you here every so often.
That way you won't be so far from each other.

11:46 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Tell it I'll try write, but it will be hard, my salty tears might distort my penmenship somewhat. And don't forget to read to it every night. It likes, 'Never ending pouring' and Through a Glass Darkly' and The Rum diaries' and on stormy night it's super likes, 'A tale of two whiskys' Sob.

11:56 a.m.  
Anonymous Plop said...

Are said parents/parents in law still knocking boots? If so parents in law all the way. No way do I want my old active parents round my house.

12:18 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Eeek, I never thought of that, nor actually wanted to. I assume older folk have sex of course, but I try not to think about it. Like now.

12:21 p.m.  
Anonymous Plop said...

Well if you're going to consider such an option you'll have to consider all the ins and outs of what you're getting yourself in for. Imagine coming home after a hard days work and boom. Or in the dead of night as you try rest your little head.

12:29 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I...I've got to go clean out the litter trays. Frankly the idea of the Lilac Couch getting jiggy with it with some dude is too much for my mental condition this morning. I'll be back later.

12:44 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

It's academic for me but half a mile seems like the right degree of proximity.

1:50 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

I was so close to caving in last night until Mr. M came home and distracted me by taking me and the pups out. We watched a big gang fight commence waged by boys with bats until the cops came to break it up.

When we hashed out the details of choosing not to have children, I made it explicit that it also meant that I would NOT be caring for his elderly parents. Hell no.

2:07 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Would you put them in a home?

Nonny

2:11 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

Each situation is different. Not everyone has the space, and some people work so many hours outside of the home that it doesn't make sense to take on an elderly person who needs daily care.

if you have the space, the money, and time, and get along with elderly parents, it's a much better option than a home - those places are hell on earth (though I've been to one or two of the newer "assisted living" places that haven't been TOO bad.) Still, once you're there, you know you're in the undertaker's waiting room. Bleugh.

In my personal situation, even if I had the space and didn't work full time, it wouldn't be practical. I'm a lot of things, but nurturing isn't one of them. Plus I live a good 2.5 hours away from my father (it would destroy him to leave Maine at this stage in his life) and 2.5 hours away from SPOUSE's parents, and it would kill THEM to leave the town where they grew up and raised their families.

I'm afraid that's up to my siblings or his to worry about. Whew!

2:26 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

A lot of older folks really hate losing their independence too, that's why I think the granny flat-assuming you have space- works out better for all involved, if that's what you've decided. Of course space is a luxury most of us don't have in abundance.

2:41 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess so Andraste. I just hate the fuckers who won't mind them but will happily spend their inheritance. Like my mam I think I will put a clause in my will.

Nonny

2:44 p.m.  
Blogger daisy mae said...

my parents threw me out on the street when i was 15 - needless to say i swore back then i would never help them when they were older. i'm sure i also kissed goodbye any inheritance i might have received.... not that it troubles me any.

2:49 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I doubt the Lilac Couch will be showering me with riches anytime soon either Daisy Mae, but that's okay too.

2:50 p.m.  
Anonymous problemchildbride said...

Good luck, fmc!

3:14 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Ya Ducks, I plan to send myself off into the dry by drinking cheerfully yet lamentfully this weekend. Starting in some hours with a dutiful visit to Smurfs.

3:39 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

Hate's a strong word, nonny. And you can't assume that anyone who doesn't take in an elderly parent is "spending their inheritance" while not taking them in. You need to be careful about painting EVERYONE with the same brush. Nursing homes are expensive - there goes your inheritance right there, in most cases, assuming there was any inheritance to be had at all!

3:56 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know I mean "the fuckers" as in the propeortion of people who do it. I didnt phrase myself well. Right to the Morgue for fun and frollicks.

Have a lovely weekend dudes!

Nonny

4:11 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Have a good one.

4:18 p.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

Do you hear that?
*dong, dong, dong, dong, donnnng*
Its beer o'frickinclock!

5:02 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

Enjoy your booze, FMC.

The only diapers I would change are Mr. M's. Everyone else can find their own caretakers.

5:48 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Back from kickboxing! DIng Ding is right! Have a good weekend everyone, especially newly non-smokers!
To Smurfs!

6:42 p.m.  
Blogger Dr. James McInerney said...

Hey FMC, have you seen our Olympian Ginger, Paddy Barnes 48kg boxer...and a damn fine boxer too.

12:18 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I hadn't but I surely appreciate his royal gingerness now, Docky.

4:44 p.m.  
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