Tuesday, January 27, 2009


Generally speaking I fear no man or woman. But this morning, as the grey clouds unleash one wave of rain after another on my office roof I find I am nervous, nervous as The Marklar when faced with a shoe he may or may not have walked past one million times before.
Why my anxiety? Because it is not yet gone eight am and already my friend has been on the phone, and YES she's running behind. I try to not panic. She's panicing, I'm going to avoid fight or flight. I can do this Melvin.
Yes, I know what shop she is talking about, yes I know the make up person, yes I WILL be finished my work in time to meet her, yes, I'm happy to trail about shops looking for the perfect dress to wear ( and I will be wearing it as will four others) No, I don't know where that shop is. No I've never head of such a thing. Er...no, I did not know that. Is peacock a colour? Who can say? I'm sorry I don't know the difference between those two materials? In a sash? Wait! There are sashs?? I haven't cut my hair, I swear! Ring who? Your sister? MY sister? Why would I ring her? Oh, which sister? Oh that sister. No I don't know where that is? Yes I live here. No yes, no, yes, no yes....argh.
The Tasmanian Dust Devil will be married this year and one way or another I refuse be the one who has the stroke. Refuse I'm telling you. I have until midday to ingest whatever it is that stops strokes and melt downs before the occur. Whatever that might be.



Blogger NAVAL LANGA said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:10 a.m.  
Blogger morgor said...

Oh christ one of those...

My girlfriend had to deal with something similar a few years back.

6 months before the wedding she told the bride to be that she couldn't come look at wedding dresses at a certain time on a certain day and was assaulted with tears and "YOU'RE RUINING MY WEDDING!!!".

Hopefully all of the stress, tears and anger won't outweigh the enjoyment of the actual wedding day . . .

8:32 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

She has her wedding dress and it's beautiful. I thought -silly me- that would be the hardest part over. But I am an idiot.
I've already told her one of us will be on pretty strong drugs the week of her wedding. She think I'm joking, but me and her mother are in agreement that it should be her.
That Naval Langa and his pesky ways.

9:13 a.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Ah, weddins. They seem to get most ladies in a biteen of a tiz. For months and months. Is it a ploy to lose weight? My approach would be... relax, it's a big party, have fun.

9:43 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

In fairness to her, this is a big wedding with a lot of organising. If it was me I'd probably flee abroad, but she's made of sterner stuff so I'll just shut my yap and hope everything goes according to plan and try to be of some use whenever she needs me.
I keep thinking of that scene In sex and the city where Anthony tells Harry that one of his clients had a stroke, but that she 'pulled it together' for the day.
Which is annoying me, because life shouldn't cheerfully emulate that silly show.
Anyway, my friend's wedding dress is to DIE for.

9:54 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

AND she has excellent taste so at least us bridesmaids won't be standing around like startled Christmas decorations.
I think I'll put up a picture.

9:55 a.m.  
Anonymous Penelope_CA said...

Having gone down the bridezilla route in my early 20's I should have taken my dad up on his offer back then to skip the entire shebang and take the cash instead but I wanted the dress and the party and the fairytale happily-ever-after ending. Ah well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad...

Now in my 40's and looking to get married to my Belfast Beloved we're in agreement that a city hall ceremony and nice dinner out with a few family and friends is all we need and will splash out instead on a nice honeymoon trip.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a romantic sucker for a fancy wedding... when it's someone else's headache!!!

That said, I did get to enjoy my white wedding because I hired a planner who did all the running about. Lovely lady who more than earned her fee, it was well worth it for peace of mind.

4:10 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I'd go for a planer myself if i was trying to organise a wedding as big. Less stress all round.
We got our dresses, and they are very lovely. My feet though are falling off me.

6:55 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

Picture, please.
They don't have to be ugly contrary to popular opinion.
For mine, I had the women wear a black dress and the men a dark suit.
Easy Peasey.

6:57 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Sounds snappy! Sent photo to your mail.

7:20 p.m.  
Anonymous Babs said...

I was a Bridesmaid for my brothers wedding last October, they (my brother and his now wife) bought the dresses without either bridesmaid being there, thank FOOK they both have good taste and got lovely dresses that miraculously fit us like gloves needing no alteration, that was the easy bit, wait till you have to go find shoes that go with the dress and have the right heel height etc, that was a total pain in the ass, we went into literally EVERY shoe shop in Dublin, finally finding them in the last one we tried (yay!) the wedding was fantastic though, even if I did go barefoot immediately after the dinner was over, dancing in 5" heels is not easy, plus I had a floor length dress so no one could see my knackery black feet! :)
Good luck FMC!

12:16 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I think we can pick our own shoes once they are silver. Phew.

10:52 a.m.  
Anonymous Babs said...

Oh that is phew, we were trying to get the same colour as the dress which proved impossible, so just went with black peep toes, mine had a giant heel because I am a short arse and the other BM's were pretty much the same but probably comfier, I have worn mine to death since then!

10:41 p.m.  
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