Generally speaking I fear no man or woman. But this morning, as the grey clouds unleash one wave of rain after another on my office roof I find I am nervous, nervous as The Marklar when faced with a shoe he may or may not have walked past one million times before.
Why my anxiety? Because it is not yet gone eight am and already my friend has been on the phone, and YES she's running behind. I try to not panic. She's panicing, I'm going to avoid fight or flight. I can do this Melvin.
Yes, I know what shop she is talking about, yes I know the make up person, yes I WILL be finished my work in time to meet her, yes, I'm happy to trail about shops looking for the perfect dress to wear ( and I will be wearing it as will four others) No, I don't know where that shop is. No I've never head of such a thing. Er...no, I did not know that. Is peacock a colour? Who can say? I'm sorry I don't know the difference between those two materials? In a sash? Wait! There are sashs?? I haven't cut my hair, I swear! Ring who? Your sister? MY sister? Why would I ring her? Oh, which sister? Oh that sister. No I don't know where that is? Yes I live here. No yes, no, yes, no yes....argh.
The Tasmanian Dust Devil will be married this year and one way or another I refuse be the one who has the stroke. Refuse I'm telling you. I have until midday to ingest whatever it is that stops strokes and melt downs before the occur. Whatever that might be.